自卑感
57. Inferiority
原則 (Principle)
Principle
當人開始發覺自己不符合傳統標準時，便會產生自卑感。但這自卑究竟是與誰比較呢？請問你：你想要和別人一樣平庸，還是想要活出真實的自己？若你試圖隱藏自己的缺點，就永遠無法成為真正的自己；相反，當你專注於發展內在那些更精緻的特質時，你才會感受到真實的自我。你所感受到的任何自卑，最終都會被你內在固有的優點所補償。魅力可以彌補外貌的不足；自信可以彌補身體缺陷；而善於傾聽亦可彌補言語表達的不靈活。對於那些因害羞而苦惱的人，我只有一個忠告：把這份羞怯視為真正的寶藏。只要你不過分炫耀，那份羞怯總帶著一種神秘風韻，絕不至於變成「太酷」的虛榮。
When a person begins to realize that they don’t fit conventional standards, they begin to feel inadequate but in comparison to whom? Ask yourself, do you want to be like everyone else, or do you want to be yourself? You won’t succeed in being yourself if you try to hide your shortcomings. You will start to feel like you are being yourself if you focus on developing your finer qualities. Any inferiority you feel will be balanced out by your inherent merits. Charm can compensate for a lack of beauty. Self- confidence can compensate for physical defects. The ability to listen can replace the inability to speak freely. There is just one piece of advice I would give to anyone who suffers from being shy: Guard this quality for the treasure that it really is. Shyness will always have a certain mysterious charm, as long as you don’t play it up into the luxury of being ‘too cool’.
詮釋
Interpretation
自卑感常源自於比較：你會覺得「我不僅外貌平庸，連才能都不足，既不聰明也不幽默，也不知道如何與人溝通，根本不值一提……更嚴重的是，我遠不如他們！」這樣的念頭正是依賴性關係 (Dependent relationships) 的典型表現，並進而創造極端的對立（Polarisation）—「他們優，我劣」。這種極化隨之激發出強烈的平衡力量 (Balanced forces)，迫使人試圖以各種方式提升那被人為低估的價值，結果使得他更不自然地強調那些自己極力隱藏的缺點。與自卑感作鬥爭往往只會帶來比自卑本身更大的痛苦。要消除這樣的情結，唯一的辦法就是停止與他人比較，將注意力從自己的不足轉向發揮優勢。構建一個充滿正面能量的目標滑動 (Slide)，使你的長處盛開到極致，而短處自然黯然失色。沉浸在這個虛擬的目標滑動 (Slide) 當中，不久之後，它就會轉化為現實。
Feelings of inferiority are based on comparison: “I’m not only unattractive outwardly; I have no talents or particular ability. I’m not intelligent or witty and I don’t know how to communicate with people. I’m not worth anything... No, it’s much more serious than that. The fact is that I’m less than they are!” This type of thinking is an example of a dependent relationship in its purest form. It creates polarization: «They are good, I am bad». polarization generates the wind of balancing forces, which cause a person to try and raise their artificially understated value in any way possible. Therefore, the person begins to behave unnaturally emphasising even more, the aspects of self they are trying to hide. Battling with an inferiority complex can create far more unpleasant consequences than the complex itself. There is only one way to eliminate a complex like this. Stop comparing yourself to others and switch the focus of your attention from your shortcomings to your strengths. Create a positive slide in which your strengths are in such full bloom that your shortcomings fade into the background. Live in this virtual slide and soon it will be transformed into reality.
- 自卑感
57. Inferiority
原則
Principle
當一個人開始意識到自己不符合傳統標準時，他們開始感到不足，但與誰相比呢？問問自己，你想像其他人一樣，還是想做自己？如果你試圖隱藏自己的缺點，你就無法成功地做自己。如果你專注於發展自己的優點，你會開始感覺自己就是自己。你感受到的任何自卑感都會被你固有的優點所平衡。魅力可以彌補缺乏美麗。自信可以彌補身體缺陷。傾聽的能力可以替代無法自由表達的能力。我只給那些因害羞而痛苦的人一條建議：將這種品質視為真正的寶藏來保護。只要你不將其誇大為「太酷」的奢侈，害羞總會有某種神秘的魅力。
When a person begins to realize that they don’t fit conventional standards, they begin to feel inadequate but in comparison to whom? Ask yourself, do you want to be like everyone else, or do you want to be yourself? You won’t succeed in being yourself if you try to hide your shortcomings. You will start to feel like you are being yourself if you focus on developing your finer qualities. Any inferiority you feel will be balanced out by your inherent merits. Charm can compensate for a lack of beauty. Self- confidence can compensate for physical defects. The ability to listen can replace the inability to speak freely. There is just one piece of advice I would give to anyone who suffers from being shy: Guard this quality for the treasure that it really is. Shyness will always have a certain mysterious charm, as long as you don’t play it up into the luxury of being ‘too cool’.
解釋
Interpretation
自卑感是基於比較而來的：「我不僅外表不吸引人，還沒有才華或特別的能力。我不聰明也不機智，不知道如何與人交流。我一無是處……不，情況比這更嚴重。事實是，我比他們差！」這種思維方式是最純粹形式的依賴關係 (Dependent relationships) 的例子。它創造了極化 (Polarisation)：「他們好，我不好」。極化產生了平衡力量 (Balanced forces) 的風，這使得一個人試圖以任何可能的方式提高自己被低估的價值。因此，這個人開始不自然地行為，甚至更強調他們試圖隱藏的自我方面。與自卑情結鬥爭可能會帶來比情結本身更不愉快的後果。只有一種方法可以消除這樣的情結。停止與他人比較，將注意力從缺點轉移到優點上。創造一個積極的幻燈片 (Slide)，在其中你的優點充分展現，以至於你的缺點退居背景。在這個虛擬幻燈片中生活，並且很快它將轉變為現實。
Feelings of inferiority are based on comparison: “I’m not only unattractive outwardly; I have no talents or particular ability. I’m not intelligent or witty and I don’t know how to communicate with people. I’m not worth anything... No, it’s much more serious than that. The fact is that I’m less than they are!” This type of thinking is an example of a dependent relationship in its purest form. It creates polarization: «They are good, I am bad». polarization generates the wind of balancing forces, which cause a person to try and raise their artificially understated value in any way possible. Therefore, the person begins to behave unnaturally emphasising even more, the aspects of self they are trying to hide. Battling with an inferiority complex can create far more unpleasant consequences than the complex itself. There is only one way to eliminate a complex like this. Stop comparing yourself to others and switch the focus of your attention from your shortcomings to your strengths. Create a positive slide in which your strengths are in such full bloom that your shortcomings fade into the background. Live in this virtual slide and soon it will be transformed into reality.
- 自卑 (Inferiority)
57. Inferiority
原則
Principle
當人意識到不符常規標準，開始感到不足，但與誰比？問自己，你想如他人，還是做自己？試藏缺點，你不會成功做自己。聚焦發展優質，你開始感覺做自己。任何自卑感由你的固有優點平衡。魅力可補美貌不足。自信可補身體缺陷。聆聽能力可替代自由說話的無能。對害羞者的建議：守護這品質，因它是真寶。只要不將其誇為“太酷”的奢侈，害羞總具神秘魅力。
When a person begins to realize that they don’t fit conventional standards, they begin to feel inadequate but in comparison to whom? Ask yourself, do you want to be like everyone else, or do you want to be yourself? You won’t succeed in being yourself if you try to hide your shortcomings. You will start to feel like you are being yourself if you focus on developing your finer qualities. Any inferiority you feel will be balanced out by your inherent merits. Charm can compensate for a lack of beauty. Self- confidence can compensate for physical defects. The ability to listen can replace the inability to speak freely. There is just one piece of advice I would give to anyone who suffers from being shy: Guard this quality for the treasure that it really is. Shyness will always have a certain mysterious charm, as long as you don’t play it up into the luxury of being ‘too cool’.
解釋
Interpretation
自卑感基於比較：“我不僅外貌不吸引，無才華或特別能力。我不聰明、不機智、不會與人溝通。我一文不值…不，問題更嚴重。我比他們差！”這是依賴關係 (Dependent Relationship) 的純粹形式，創造極化 (Polarization)：“他們好，我壞。”極化產生平衡力量之風 (Wind of Balanced Forces)，使人以任何方式試提高人為低估的價值。因此，人開始不自然行為，更強調試圖隱藏的自我面向。與自卑情結爭鬥比情結本身造成更不愉快後果。消除此情結的唯一方式是停止與他人比較，將注意力從缺點轉向優點。創造正面幻燈片 (Positive Slide)，你的優點盛開，缺點退至背景。活在這虛擬幻燈片，很快它會轉為現實。
Feelings of inferiority are based on comparison: “I’m not only unattractive outwardly; I have no talents or particular ability. I’m not intelligent or witty and I don’t know how to communicate with people. I’m not worth anything... No, it’s much more serious than that. The fact is that I’m less than they are!” This type of thinking is an example of a dependent relationship in its purest form. It creates polarization: «They are good, I am bad». polarization generates the wind of balancing forces, which cause a person to try and raise their artificially understated value in any way possible. Therefore, the person begins to behave unnaturally emphasising even more, the aspects of self they are trying to hide. Battling with an inferiority complex can create far more unpleasant consequences than the complex itself. There is only one way to eliminate a complex like this. Stop comparing yourself to others and switch the focus of your attention from your shortcomings to your strengths. Create a positive slide in which your strengths are in such full bloom that your shortcomings fade into the background. Live in this virtual slide and soon it will be transformed into reality.