第三章：菜鳥的舉動
Chapter 3: A Rookie Move
駕向驗屍官辦公室的途中，急救員們神情肅穆、默不作聲。我能隱約聽到那位菜鳥急救員獨自坐在救護車後部，凝視著屍體時心中亂如麻的思緒：他努力弄清到底發生了什麼，又該如何改進。他心想：真難以置信，我們竟然錯過了救人的最後機會，甚至沒有真正伸出援手，多希望我們能夠再試試看。
The medics were somber and silent as they drove to the medical examiner’s office. I could hear the wandering thoughts of the rookie medic as he sat alone with the body in the back of the ambulance. He tried to figure out what had happened, and what they could have done differently. I can’t believe we lost this one, he thought. We didn’t even get a chance to really help him. I wish we could have tried.
我感覺到他心中的痛楚，並注意到一圈溫暖的金色光芒在他胸口綻放，彷彿一顆微型太陽在他內心逐漸升起。
I felt his heart ache. I noticed a warm golden light started to blossom around his heart. It looked like a miniature sun was growing inside of him.
接著，我聽到並感受到一陣隆隆作響的震動，宛如地震般強烈。我轉頭望向其他急救員，他們卻毫無異樣，似乎只有我能感受得到。那震動聲迅速漸強，越來越響，我意識到它正從我背後湧來且迅速逼近。當這隆隆聲達到高潮時，一道如同流星般的光影從我右側掠過，正好擊中那位年輕菜鳥的心臟。
Then I heard and felt a rumbling, like an earthquake. I looked at the medics, but they weren’t affected; only I could feel it. The rumbling quickly grew more intense, and louder and louder. I became aware that it was happening behind me, and it was approaching fast. As it built to a crescendo, something like a shooting star flashed by my right side and hit the young rookie in his heart.
他整個人瞬間被點亮，就像那內心的小太陽爆發成超新星一般耀眼。我聽到一道威嚴而有力的聲音從那光芒中傳來，宣告道：「這個人還活著。」
His whole being lit up. It was like the little sun inside of him went supernova. I heard a powerful and commanding voice from the light declare, “This one is not dead.”
那位菜鳥急救員四處張望尋找聲音的來源，令我感到驚訝的是，他並沒有立刻採取行動。那聲音強烈而充滿權威，聽來宛若上帝之聲，或者是近乎上帝的人士所發，但我卻聽見他心中默念：「這只是你想像出來的罷了。」
The rookie looked around for the source of the voice. I was surprised that he did not act on it right away. The voice was so strong and resonated with such authority and power, it sounded to me like the voice of God, or perhaps someone near to God. Yet, I felt the rookie’s doubt and heard his thought: You just imagined it.
那道光芒毫不留情地持續增亮，從他的胸口蔓延至頭頂。看著菜鳥急救員在變化中，從光中傳來的聲音變得更加洪亮、充滿力量。
Unrelenting, the glow brightened and spread from his heart to the crown of his head. As I watched the rookie transform, the voice from the light hit him louder and even more powerfully.
「這個人還活著！」
“This man is not dead!”
那位菜鳥急速採取行動。
The rookie leaped into action.
我清楚看到，救護車前排的另外兩位急救員似乎什麼都沒聽見；儘管他們經驗豐富，但這道光只與菜鳥產生了連結，僅向他傳達訊息。
It was clear to me that the other two medics in the front of the ambulance had not heard a thing. Even though the other two had far more experience, the light had only connected with and spoken to the rookie.
菜鳥走向那具一動不動的屍體，輕聲解開圍繞頸部和腰部的束縛，並從膝上一路拉開鮮黃色的屍袋拉鍊。他心中默念：「希望這傢伙還活著，希望他還有跳動的心。」然後，他用手指輕輕觸摸著變色的頸部，尋找脈搏。
The rookie moved to the motionless body and quietly unbuckled the straps around the neck and waist, then unzipped the bright yellow body bag all the way down to the knees. I hope this guy is alive, he thought. I hope he has a heartbeat. He pressed his fingers against the discolored neck, searching for a pulse.
試探無果後，他將手移至屍體右臂，再試一次，仍然沒有反應；他接著觸摸男子右大腿內側，結果依舊毫無起色。
Finding nothing, he moved his hand to the corpse’s right arm and tried again. Again nothing. He then tried the inside of the man’s right thigh. Still nothing.
他猛力按下去，直到感覺到堅硬的組織。突然間，我感覺到一陣猶如靜電般的震動。我知道他一定也感受到那震動，因為他的念頭從微弱希望迅速轉換為焦急行動。
He pressed harder until he felt hard tissue. Suddenly, I felt a jolt like static electricity. I knew that he must have felt it, too, because his thoughts shifted from faint hope to frantic action.
他隨手抓起一套氣管切開設備，在那位年輕男子的喉嚨上劃開一道口子，接著插入氣管造口管。管子固定好後，他迅速剪開男子的衣服，並貼上了除顫貼片。
He grabbed a tracheotomy kit, made an incision in the young man’s throat, and inserted a tracheotomy tube. After the tube was seated, he cut open the man’s clothes, attaching defibrillator sticky pads to the body.
他腦中迅速回想起所有訓練內容，並默默祈禱：「請上帝幫助我完成這一切，請上帝賜我力量。」
His mind raced through his training as he repeated a silent prayer, “Please, God, help me do what I need to do. Please, God, help me.”
他打開機器，隨即傳出準備就緒的音調。聽到這聲響，前排的急救員轉身望向他，驚恐萬分。
He turned on the machine, and it sounded a ready tone. Hearing it, the medics in the front seat turned around, horrified.
坐在副駕座的急救員大聲喊道：「你在幹嘛？停下來！你這麼做會被炒魷魚的！」
“What are you doing?” the medic in the passenger seat yelled. “Stop! You’re going to get fired.”
菜鳥急救員卻毫不理會，他知道自己聽到的聲音是真實的。他啟動了除顫器，對屍體施加電擊。我的視野頓時被一道閃亮的白光填滿。
The rookie ignored him. He knew that the voice he had heard was real. He triggered the defibrillator to shock the body. My vision was filled with a flash of white.
但隨後顯示的卻是——沒有脈搏。
No heartbeat.
主管急救員轉身斥道：「別再胡鬧了，他死了。別動他。你要知道，什麼時候該放手。」
The head medic turned around and snapped, “Stop messing around. He’s dead. Leave him alone. You need to know when to let go.”
除顫器顯示充電完畢，準備再次使用。他再次對屍體施以電擊，但這次我沒看到閃光。心電監護儀僅顯示一個跳動，隨後便歸於沉寂。
The defibrillator signaled that it was charged and ready again. He shocked the body a second time. I didn’t see a flash this time. The heart monitor registered a single heartbeat, then nothing.
「這會記在你的紀錄上。」第二位急救員說道，「你最好停下來，否則會被解僱。」
“This will go in your record,” the second medic said. “You’d better stop, or you’re going to get fired.”
除顫器再次充滿電，菜鳥急救員第三次啟動機器，對屍體施加了電擊，但仍無反應……隨後，一個脈搏出現了，起初微弱，然後漸漸增強且穩定。
The defibrillator was ready again. The rookie triggered the machine a third time, sending a jolt through the body. Nothing. And then…a heartbeat. Moderate at first, then stronger and steady.
「我有脈搏了！」
“I have a heartbeat!”
前排的急救員瞪大眼互相對視，接著坐在副駕座的急救員跨過座椅前來協助菜鳥。
The medics in the front looked at each other with wide eyes. Then the medic on the passenger side climbed over his seat to aid the rookie.
救護車距離設備齊全的急診中心僅有數分鐘。司機拿起無線電迅速報出一連串代碼給 Timpanogos Regional Hospital，隨後打開燈光與警笛，改道直奔醫院。
The ambulance was only minutes away from a fully equipped emergency center. The driver grabbed the radio and rattled off a series of codes to Timpanogos Regional Hospital. He flipped on his lights and sirens and changed course for the hospital.
兩位急救員忙得不可開交，迅速為這位復甦中的男子做準備：拆除繫帶、剪開剩餘的屍袋、在胸口和手臂分別注射藥劑……他們手法之快，簡直讓我難以捕捉每一個細節，我感受到了他們由拯救這可憐男子（無論他是誰）而發出的真摯喜悅。
The two medics worked frantically to prepare the revived body for the hospital. Their hands moved so fast that I could barely follow what they were doing: removing straps, cutting away the rest of the body bag, an injection into the chest, another into the arm. I felt the joy radiating from them, and I shared in their happiness in saving that poor man, whoever he was.
救護車駛入急診室入口處，一位醫生和兩名護士正與擔架等候。急救員們將患者從車後抬出，並把那位年輕男子所躺的板從一個擔架轉移到另一個擔架上，他們小心翼翼地從男子身下移除板子，再將仍黏附在他身上的破舊屍袋碎片撕下。
The ambulance pulled into the emergency room entrance where a doctor and two nurses waited with a gurney. The medics rolled their patient out of the back of the ambulance and lifted the board the young man was resting on from one gurney to the other. They slid the board out from under him, then pulled away the tattered remnants of the body bag that still adhered to the man’s body.
隨後，另一位醫生與護士加入，他們把屍體用輪椅推進室內，沿著走廊移動。突然，男子開始抽搐，一位護士飛奔過去取來繫帶以固定他那四散翻飛的肢體，她先將雙腿綁好，再固定右臂，正當她準備綁左臂時，我猛然感覺到自己的左臂被拉扯，我情不自禁用力反拉；同時，男子的左臂竟把床上的繫帶拉斷。就在那一刻，我驚覺自己正目睹著自己的急救過程。
Joined by another doctor and nurse, the medical team wheeled the body inside and down the hallway. Suddenly, the man started to convulse. A nurse ran to grab straps to secure his flailing limbs. She returned and strapped down his legs, then right arm, and started to strap down the left arm. As she did so, I felt a pull on my own left arm. I reflexively pulled hard against it. At the same time, the man’s left arm pulled the strap free from the bed. It was only then that I realized that I was watching my own resuscitation.
我身邊的涼意頓時轉為刺骨寒冷，恐懼迅速籠罩全身，我完全不知道接下來會發生什麼。既然我應該已經死去，為何還在這裡？我彷彿能感受到醫療團隊拼盡全力試圖維持我生命的慌亂與恐懼，他們的恐慌更進一步激化了我的不安，一片暗灰色的迷霧漸漸包圍了我，將我捲入無盡的絕望之中。
The feeling of coolness around me turned bitter cold as fear gripped me. I did not know what was going to happen next. If I had died, then why was I still here? I felt the panic and fear of the medical team doing their best to keep my body alive. Their fear fed my fear, and a dark gray fog closed in around me as I spiraled into a dark despair.
第3章：新手的失誤
Chapter 3: A Rookie Move
醫護人員在前往法醫辦公室的路上顯得嚴肅而沉默。我能聽到新手急救醫生的思緒，他獨自坐在救護車的後面，與屍體相伴。他試圖弄清楚發生了什麼，以及他們本可以做些什麼不同的事情。他心想：我真不敢相信我們失去了這個人。我們甚至沒有機會真正幫助他。我希望我們能夠嘗試。
The medics were somber and silent as they drove to the medical examiner’s office. I could hear the wandering thoughts of the rookie medic as he sat alone with the body in the back of the ambulance. He tried to figure out what had happened, and what they could have done differently. I can’t believe we lost this one, he thought. We didn’t even get a chance to really help him. I wish we could have tried.
我感受到他的心在痛。我注意到一束溫暖的金色光芒開始在他的心周圍綻放。看起來就像一個迷你太陽在他體內成長。
I felt his heart ache. I noticed a warm golden light started to blossom around his heart. It looked like a miniature sun was growing inside of him.
然後我聽到並感受到一陣轟鳴聲，像是地震。我看著醫護人員，但他們並沒有受到影響；只有我能感受到。轟鳴聲迅速變得更加強烈，聲音也越來越大。我意識到這聲音是在我身後發生的，而且正在快速接近。隨著聲音達到高潮，像流星一樣的東西從我右側閃過，撞擊了那位年輕新手的心臟。
Then I heard and felt a rumbling, like an earthquake. I looked at the medics, but they weren’t affected; only I could feel it. The rumbling quickly grew more intense, and louder and louder. I became aware that it was happening behind me, and it was approaching fast. As it built to a crescendo, something like a shooting star flashed by my right side and hit the young rookie in his heart.
他整個人都亮了起來。就像他體內的小太陽爆炸了一樣。我聽到一個強大而威嚴的聲音從光中宣告：「這個人還沒有死。」
His whole being lit up. It was like the little sun inside of him went supernova. I heard a powerful and commanding voice from the light declare, “This one is not dead.”
新手四處尋找聲音的來源。我驚訝於他沒有立即做出反應。這聲音如此強烈，帶著權威和力量，聽起來就像是上帝的聲音，或者是某個接近上帝的人。然而，我感受到新手的懷疑，聽到他的想法：你只是想像而已。
The rookie looked around for the source of the voice. I was surprised that he did not act on it right away. The voice was so strong and resonated with such authority and power, it sounded to me like the voice of God, or perhaps someone near to God. Yet, I felt the rookie’s doubt and heard his thought: You just imagined it.
不屈不撓的光芒從他的心臟擴散到頭頂，愈發明亮。當我看著這位新手變化時，來自光中的聲音對他響亮而有力地傳達著。
Unrelenting, the glow brightened and spread from his heart to the crown of his head. As I watched the rookie transform, the voice from the light hit him louder and even more powerfully.
「這個人還沒有死！」
“This man is not dead!”
新手立刻行動起來。
The rookie leaped into action.
我清楚地知道，救護車前面的另外兩名急救醫生什麼也沒聽到。儘管另外兩人經驗豐富，但這道光只與新手產生了聯繫並對他說話。
It was clear to me that the other two medics in the front of the ambulance had not heard a thing. Even though the other two had far more experience, the light had only connected with and spoken to the rookie.
新手走向那具靜止的身體，靜靜地解開了圍繞脖子和腰部的束帶，然後將明亮的黃色屍袋拉開到膝蓋。我希望這個人還活著，他心想。我希望他有心跳。他將手指按在變色的脖子上，尋找脈搏。
The rookie moved to the motionless body and quietly unbuckled the straps around the neck and waist, then unzipped the bright yellow body bag all the way down to the knees. I hope this guy is alive, he thought. I hope he has a heartbeat. He pressed his fingers against the discolored neck, searching for a pulse.
沒有找到任何東西，他將手移到屍體的右臂上，再次嘗試。仍然沒有任何反應。他然後試著檢查這個男人的右大腿內側。還是沒有。
Finding nothing, he moved his hand to the corpse’s right arm and tried again. Again nothing. He then tried the inside of the man’s right thigh. Still nothing.
他用力按壓，直到感覺到硬組織。突然，我感到一陣像靜電一樣的震動。我知道他一定也感受到了，因為他的思緒從微弱的希望轉向了瘋狂的行動。
He pressed harder until he felt hard tissue. Suddenly, I felt a jolt like static electricity. I knew that he must have felt it, too, because his thoughts shifted from faint hope to frantic action.
他抓起一個氣管切開套件，在年輕男子的喉嚨上切開一刀，然後插入氣管切開管。當管子安裝好後，他撕開了這個男人的衣服，將除顫器的黏貼墊附在身體上。
He grabbed a tracheotomy kit, made an incision in the young man’s throat, and inserted a tracheotomy tube. After the tube was seated, he cut open the man’s clothes, attaching defibrillator sticky pads to the body.
他腦海中快速回顧著自己的訓練，默默地重複著一個祈禱：「請，上帝，幫助我做我需要做的事情。請，上帝，幫助我。」
His mind raced through his training as he repeated a silent prayer, “Please, God, help me do what I need to do. Please, God, help me.”
他打開了機器，發出準備音。聽到這聲音，前座的急救醫生驚恐地轉過身來。
He turned on the machine, and it sounded a ready tone. Hearing it, the medics in the front seat turned around, horrified.
「你在做什麼？」副駕駛座的急救醫生大喊。「停下！你會被解雇的。」
“What are you doing?” the medic in the passenger seat yelled. “Stop! You’re going to get fired.”
新手無視了他。他知道自己聽到的聲音是真實的。他啟動了除顫器，對屍體進行電擊。我的視野被一陣白光填滿。
The rookie ignored him. He knew that the voice he had heard was real. He triggered the defibrillator to shock the body. My vision was filled with a flash of white.
沒有心跳。
No heartbeat.
首席急救醫生轉過身，斥責道：「別胡鬧。他已經死了。讓他安靜。你需要知道什麼時候該放手。」
The head medic turned around and snapped, “Stop messing around. He’s dead. Leave him alone. You need to know when to let go.”
除顫器發出充電完畢的信號，準備再次使用。他對屍體進行了第二次電擊。這次我沒有看到閃光。心臟監測器顯示出一個心跳，然後又什麼都沒有。
The defibrillator signaled that it was charged and ready again. He shocked the body a second time. I didn’t see a flash this time. The heart monitor registered a single heartbeat, then nothing.
「這將記入你的紀錄，」第二名急救醫生說。「你最好停下來，否則你會被解雇。」
“This will go in your record,” the second medic said. “You’d better stop, or you’re going to get fired.”
除顫器再次準備好了。新手第三次啟動了機器，對屍體進行了電擊。沒有反應。然後……出現了一個心跳。起初是中等的，然後變得更強而穩定。
The defibrillator was ready again. The rookie triggered the machine a third time, sending a jolt through the body. Nothing. And then…a heartbeat. Moderate at first, then stronger and steady.
「我有心跳了！」
“I have a heartbeat!”
前面的急救醫生互相對視，驚訝不已。然後副駕駛座的急救醫生爬過座位去幫助新手。
The medics in the front looked at each other with wide eyes. Then the medic on the passenger side climbed over his seat to aid the rookie.
救護車距離一個設備齊全的急救中心只有幾分鐘的路程。駕駛員抓起無線電，快速報告了一系列代碼給Timpanogos地區醫院。他打開了警燈和警報，改變了前往醫院的方向。
The ambulance was only minutes away from a fully equipped emergency center. The driver grabbed the radio and rattled off a series of codes to Timpanogos Regional Hospital. He flipped on his lights and sirens and changed course for the hospital.
兩名急救醫生瘋狂地工作，準備將復甦的身體送往醫院。他們的手動作迅速，我幾乎跟不上他們在做什麼：解開束帶，剪開屍袋的其餘部分，注射進胸部，再注射進手臂。我感受到他們散發出的喜悅，並與他們一起分享拯救那可憐的男人的快樂，不管他是誰。
The two medics worked frantically to prepare the revived body for the hospital. Their hands moved so fast that I could barely follow what they were doing: removing straps, cutting away the rest of the body bag, an injection into the chest, another into the arm. I felt the joy radiating from them, and I shared in their happiness in saving that poor man, whoever he was.
救護車駛入急診室入口，醫生和兩名護士在那裡等候，準備好擔架。急救醫生將病人從救護車的後面推出來，將年輕男子所躺的板子從一個擔架抬到另一個擔架上。他們將板子從他身下滑出，然後撕下仍然附著在這個男人身上的破爛屍袋殘骸。
The ambulance pulled into the emergency room entrance where a doctor and two nurses waited with a gurney. The medics rolled their patient out of the back of the ambulance and lifted the board the young man was resting on from one gurney to the other. They slid the board out from under him, then pulled away the tattered remnants of the body bag that still adhered to the man’s body.
另一名醫生和護士加入，醫療團隊將屍體推入室內並沿著走廊前進。突然，這名男子開始抽搐。一名護士跑去抓束帶以固定他的四肢。她回來後將他的腿固定住，然後是右臂，開始固定左臂。在她這樣做的時候，我感到自己左臂被拉扯。我本能地用力拉扯。與此同時，這名男子的左臂將束帶從床上拉了出來。就在那時，我意識到我正在觀看自己的復甦過程。
Joined by another doctor and nurse, the medical team wheeled the body inside and down the hallway. Suddenly, the man started to convulse. A nurse ran to grab straps to secure his flailing limbs. She returned and strapped down his legs, then right arm, and started to strap down the left arm. As she did so, I felt a pull on my own left arm. I reflexively pulled hard against it. At the same time, the man’s left arm pulled the strap free from the bed. It was only then that I realized that I was watching my own resuscitation.
我周圍的涼意變得刺骨，恐懼緊緊抓住我。我不知道接下來會發生什麼。如果我已經死了，那我為什麼還在這裡？我感受到醫療團隊竭盡全力保持我身體活著的恐慌和恐懼。他們的恐懼滋養了我的恐懼，當我陷入黑暗的絕望中，周圍的深灰色霧氣逐漸逼近。
The feeling of coolness around me turned bitter cold as fear gripped me. I did not know what was going to happen next. If I had died, then why was I still here? I felt the panic and fear of the medical team doing their best to keep my body alive. Their fear fed my fear, and a dark gray fog closed in around me as I spiraled into a dark despair.
第3章：新手的舉動
Chapter 3: A Rookie Move
急救人員在駕車前往法醫辦公室的路上神情凝重，沉默不語。我能聽到那位新手急救人員坐在救護車後面與屍體獨處時的思緒。他試圖弄清楚發生了什麼，以及他們本可以做得不同的地方。他心想，我不敢相信我們失去了這個人。我們甚至沒有機會真正幫助他。我希望我們能嘗試一下。
The medics were somber and silent as they drove to the medical examiner’s office. I could hear the wandering thoughts of the rookie medic as he sat alone with the body in the back of the ambulance. He tried to figure out what had happened, and what they could have done differently. I can’t believe we lost this one, he thought. We didn’t even get a chance to really help him. I wish we could have tried.
我感受到他的心痛。我注意到一束溫暖的金色光芒開始在他的心中綻放，看起來像一個微型的太陽在他體內成長。
I felt his heart ache. I noticed a warm golden light started to blossom around his heart. It looked like a miniature sun was growing inside of him.
然後我聽到並感受到一陣如地震般的隆隆聲。我看向急救人員，但他們沒有受到影響；只有我能感覺到。隆隆聲迅速變得更加強烈，聲音越來越大。我意識到這是在我身後發生的，而且快速接近。當它達到高潮時，一顆流星般的東西從我右側閃過，擊中了這位年輕新手的心。
Then I heard and felt a rumbling, like an earthquake. I looked at the medics, but they weren’t affected; only I could feel it. The rumbling quickly grew more intense, and louder and louder. I became aware that it was happening behind me, and it was approaching fast. As it built to a crescendo, something like a shooting star flashed by my right side and hit the young rookie in his heart.
他的整個存在被點亮。就像他體內的小太陽發生了超新星爆發。我聽到從光中傳來一個強大而威嚴的聲音宣告：“這個人還沒死。”
His whole being lit up. It was like the little sun inside of him went supernova. I heard a powerful and commanding voice from the light declare, “This one is not dead.”
新手四處尋找聲音的來源。我驚訝於他沒有立即採取行動。那聲音如此強烈，充滿了權威和力量，對我來說聽起來像是上帝的聲音，或者是某個接近上帝的人。然而，我感受到新手的懷疑，聽到他的想法：你只是想像的。
The rookie looked around for the source of the voice. I was surprised that he did not act on it right away. The voice was so strong and resonated with such authority and power, it sounded to me like the voice of God, or perhaps someone near to God. Yet, I felt the rookie’s doubt and heard his thought: You just imagined it.
不屈不撓，光芒從他的心臟亮起，蔓延到他的頭頂。當我看到新手的變化時，來自光的聲音更大更強烈地擊中了他。
Unrelenting, the glow brightened and spread from his heart to the crown of his head. As I watched the rookie transform, the voice from the light hit him louder and even more powerfully.
“這個人還沒死！”
“This man is not dead!”
新手立刻行動起來。
The rookie leaped into action.
我清楚地知道救護車前座的另外兩名急救人員什麼也沒聽到。即使他們有更多的經驗，但光芒只與新手連接並對他說話。
It was clear to me that the other two medics in the front of the ambulance had not heard a thing. Even though the other two had far more experience, the light had only connected with and spoken to the rookie.
新手走到靜止的屍體旁，悄悄解開脖子和腰部的帶子，然後把亮黃色的屍袋拉鍊拉開到膝蓋。他心想，希望這個人還活著，希望他有心跳。他用手指按在變色的脖子上，尋找脈搏。
The rookie moved to the motionless body and quietly unbuckled the straps around the neck and waist, then unzipped the bright yellow body bag all the way down to the knees. I hope this guy is alive, he thought. I hope he has a heartbeat. He pressed his fingers against the discolored neck, searching for a pulse.
沒有發現，他把手移到屍體的右臂，再次嘗試。還是沒有。他接著試了試那人的右大腿內側。依然沒有。
Finding nothing, he moved his hand to the corpse’s right arm and tried again. Again nothing. He then tried the inside of the man’s right thigh. Still nothing.
他用力按壓，直到感覺到硬組織。突然，我感到一陣像靜電的震動。我知道他也一定感受到了，因為他的思緒從微弱的希望轉向了瘋狂的行動。
He pressed harder until he felt hard tissue. Suddenly, I felt a jolt like static electricity. I knew that he must have felt it, too, because his thoughts shifted from faint hope to frantic action.
他抓起氣管切開套件，在年輕人的喉嚨上切開一個口，插入氣管切開管。管子就位後，他剪開那人的衣服，將除顫器的黏貼墊附在屍體上。
He grabbed a tracheotomy kit, made an incision in the young man’s throat, and inserted a tracheotomy tube. After the tube was seated, he cut open the man’s clothes, attaching defibrillator sticky pads to the body.
他的腦海中飛速閃過他的訓練，同時默默祈禱：“求你，上帝，幫我做我需要做的事。求你，上帝，幫助我。”
His mind raced through his training as he repeated a silent prayer, “Please, God, help me do what I need to do. Please, God, help me.”
他打開機器，機器發出準備好的聲音。聽到這聲音，前座的急救人員轉過身來，驚恐地看著。
He turned on the machine, and it sounded a ready tone. Hearing it, the medics in the front seat turned around, horrified.
“你在做什麼？”坐在副駕駛座的急救人員喊道。“停下來！你會被開除的。”
“What are you doing?” the medic in the passenger seat yelled. “Stop! You’re going to get fired.”
新手不理會他。他知道他聽到的聲音是真實的。他啟動除顫器對屍體進行電擊。我的視野被一片白光充滿。
The rookie ignored him. He knew that the voice he had heard was real. He triggered the defibrillator to shock the body. My vision was filled with a flash of white.
沒有心跳。
No heartbeat.
急救隊長轉過身來厲聲說：“別再胡鬧了。他已經死了。別再打擾他。你需要知道什麼時候該放手。”
The head medic turned around and snapped, “Stop messing around. He’s dead. Leave him alone. You need to know when to let go.”
除顫器顯示再次充電完畢。他第二次對屍體進行電擊。這次我沒有看到閃光。心臟監測器顯示了一次心跳，然後又沒有了。
The defibrillator signaled that it was charged and ready again. He shocked the body a second time. I didn’t see a flash this time. The heart monitor registered a single heartbeat, then nothing.
“這會記錄在你的檔案中，”第二名急救人員說。“你最好停下來，否則你會被開除。”
“This will go in your record,” the second medic said. “You’d better stop, or you’re going to get fired.”
除顫器再次準備就緒。新手第三次啟動機器，將電流傳送到屍體。沒有反應。然後……一個心跳。起初是中等強度，然後變得更強更穩定。
The defibrillator was ready again. The rookie triggered the machine a third time, sending a jolt through the body. Nothing. And then…a heartbeat. Moderate at first, then stronger and steady.
“我有心跳了！”
“I have a heartbeat!”
前座的急救人員互相對視，瞪大了眼睛。然後坐在副駕駛座的急救人員爬過座位去幫助新手。
The medics in the front looked at each other with wide eyes. Then the medic on the passenger side climbed over his seat to aid the rookie.
救護車距離一個設備齊全的急救中心只有幾分鐘的路程。司機抓起無線電，向廷帕諾戈斯地區醫院報告了一系列代碼。他打開燈和警笛，改變路線前往醫院。
The ambulance was only minutes away from a fully equipped emergency center. The driver grabbed the radio and rattled off a series of codes to Timpanogos Regional Hospital. He flipped on his lights and sirens and changed course for the hospital.
兩名急救人員拼命準備將復甦的身體送往醫院。他們的手動得如此之快，以至於我幾乎跟不上他們在做什麼：解開帶子，剪開屍袋的其餘部分，胸部注射，然後是手臂注射。我感受到他們散發出的喜悅，並分享了他們在拯救那可憐的人時的快樂，不管他是誰。
The two medics worked frantically to prepare the revived body for the hospital. Their hands moved so fast that I could barely follow what they were doing: removing straps, cutting away the rest of the body bag, an injection into the chest, another into the arm. I felt the joy radiating from them, and I shared in their happiness in saving that poor man, whoever he was.
救護車駛入急診室入口處，一名醫生和兩名護士正等著擔架。急救人員將病人從救護車後面推出，將年輕人所躺的板子從一個擔架抬到另一個擔架上。他們將板子從他身下滑出，然後拉掉仍黏在他身上的破爛屍袋殘片。
The ambulance pulled into the emergency room entrance where a doctor and two nurses waited with a gurney. The medics rolled their patient out of the back of the ambulance and lifted the board the young man was resting on from one gurney to the other. They slid the board out from under him, then pulled away the tattered remnants of the body bag that still adhered to the man’s body.
另一名醫生和護士加入後，醫療團隊將屍體推進走廊。突然，那人開始抽搐。一名護士跑去拿帶子來固定他揮舞的四肢。她回來後將他的腿固定住，然後是右臂，接著開始固定左臂。就在她這樣做時，我感覺到自己的左臂被拉扯。我本能地用力反抗。同時，那人的左臂將帶子從床上拉開。直到那時我才意識到我正在觀看自己的復甦過程。
Joined by another doctor and nurse, the medical team wheeled the body inside and down the hallway. Suddenly, the man started to convulse. A nurse ran to grab straps to secure his flailing limbs. She returned and strapped down his legs, then right arm, and started to strap down the left arm. As she did so, I felt a pull on my own left arm. I reflexively pulled hard against it. At the same time, the man’s left arm pulled the strap free from the bed. It was only then that I realized that I was watching my own resuscitation.
我周圍的涼爽感變得刺骨寒冷，恐懼抓住了我。我不知道接下來會發生什麼。如果我已經死了，那為什麼我還在這裡？我感受到醫療團隊竭力維持我身體生命的恐慌和害怕。他們的恐懼加劇了我的恐懼，一片灰暗的霧氣在我周圍合攏，我陷入了深深的絕望。
The feeling of coolness around me turned bitter cold as fear gripped me. I did not know what was going to happen next. If I had died, then why was I still here? I felt the panic and fear of the medical team doing their best to keep my body alive. Their fear fed my fear, and a dark gray fog closed in around me as I spiraled into a dark despair.
第三章：新手的舉動
Chapter 3: A Rookie Move
救護車開往驗屍官辦公室的路上，急救員們沉默而嚴肅。我能聽到坐在救護車後部、獨自陪著屍體的新手急救員腦海中徘徊的想法。他試圖弄清楚發生了什麼，以及他們本可以做些什麼不同的事情。我不敢相信我們失去了這個人，他想。我們甚至沒能真正幫到他。我真希望我們能試試。
The medics were somber and silent as they drove to the medical examiner’s office. I could hear the wandering thoughts of the rookie medic as he sat alone with the body in the back of the ambulance. He tried to figure out what had happened, and what they could have done differently. I can’t believe we lost this one, he thought. We didn’t even get a chance to really help him. I wish we could have tried.
我感受到他內心的痛苦。我注意到一團溫暖的金色光芒開始從他的心臟處綻放。看起來就像他體內正在長出一顆小太陽。
I felt his heart ache. I noticed a warm golden light started to blossom around his heart. It looked like a miniature sun was growing inside of him.
然後我聽到並感受到一陣隆隆聲，像地震一樣。我看向急救員們，但他們毫無反應；只有我能感覺到。隆隆聲迅速變得更強烈，聲音越來越大。我意識到這聲音從我身後傳來，而且正迅速靠近。當聲音達到高潮時，一道像流星般的光芒從我右側閃過，擊中了新手急救員的心臟。
Then I heard and felt a rumbling, like an earthquake. I looked at the medics, but they weren’t affected; only I could feel it. The rumbling quickly grew more intense, and louder and louder. I became aware that it was happening behind me, and it was approaching fast. As it built to a crescendo, something like a shooting star flashed by my right side and hit the young rookie in his heart.
他的整個存在都亮了起來。就像他體內的小太陽突然超新星爆發。我聽到從光芒中傳來一個有力而威嚴的聲音宣稱：「這個人還沒死。」
His whole being lit up. It was like the little sun inside of him went supernova. I heard a powerful and commanding voice from the light declare, “This one is not dead.”
新手急救員四處尋找聲音的來源。我很驚訝他沒有立刻採取行動。那個聲音如此強大，充滿權威和力量，聽起來像是上帝的聲音，或許是接近上帝的人。然而，我感受到新手的懷疑，聽到他的想法：你只是想像出來的。
The rookie looked around for the source of the voice. I was surprised that he did not act on it right away. The voice was so strong and resonated with such authority and power, it sounded to me like the voice of God, or perhaps someone near to God. Yet, I felt the rookie’s doubt and heard his thought: You just imagined it.
光芒毫不妥協地變得更亮，從他的心臟擴散到頭頂。當我看著新手轉變時，光芒中的聲音更大、更強烈地擊中了他。
Unrelenting, the glow brightened and spread from his heart to the crown of his head. As I watched the rookie transform, the voice from the light hit him louder and even more powerfully.
「這個人還沒死！」
“This man is not dead!”
新手立刻行動起來。
The rookie leaped into action.
我清楚地看到救護車前座的另外兩名急救員什麼也沒聽到。儘管那兩人有更多的經驗，但光芒只與新手連繫並對他說話。
It was clear to me that the other two medics in the front of the ambulance had not heard a thing. Even though the other two had far more experience, the light had only connected with and spoken to the rookie.
新手走向不動的屍體，悄悄解開頸部和腰部的束帶，然後將亮黃色的屍袋拉鍊一直拉到膝蓋處。他想：希望這個人還活著。希望他有心跳。他將手指按在變色的脖子上，尋找脈搏。
The rookie moved to the motionless body and quietly unbuckled the straps around the neck and waist, then unzipped the bright yellow body bag all the way down to the knees. I hope this guy is alive, he thought. I hope he has a heartbeat. He pressed his fingers against the discolored neck, searching for a pulse.
什麼也沒找到，他將手移到屍體的右臂再次嘗試。還是什麼也沒有。然後他試了右大腿內側。仍然什麼也沒有。
Finding nothing, he moved his hand to the corpse’s right arm and tried again. Again nothing. He then tried the inside of the man’s right thigh. Still nothing.
他更用力地按，直到感覺到硬組織。突然，我感到一陣像靜電般的震動。我知道他一定也感覺到了，因為他的思緒從微弱的希望轉為急切的行動。
He pressed harder until he felt hard tissue. Suddenly, I felt a jolt like static electricity. I knew that he must have felt it, too, because his thoughts shifted from faint hope to frantic action.
他抓起氣管切開術工具包，在年輕人的喉嚨上切了一個口子，插入氣管切開管。管子固定好後，他剪開那人的衣服，將除顫器貼片貼在身上。
He grabbed a tracheotomy kit, made an incision in the young man’s throat, and inserted a tracheotomy tube. After the tube was seated, he cut open the man’s clothes, attaching defibrillator sticky pads to the body.
他的腦海中快速回顧訓練內容，同時默默祈禱：「求你了，上帝，幫我做我需要做的事。求你了，上帝，幫幫我。」
His mind raced through his training as he repeated a silent prayer, “Please, God, help me do what I need to do. Please, God, help me.”
他打開機器，發出準備好的提示音。聽到這聲音，前座的急救員們轉過身，驚恐萬分。
He turned on the machine, and it sounded a ready tone. Hearing it, the medics in the front seat turned around, horrified.
「你在幹什麼？」副駕駛座的急救員喊道。「停下！你會被開除的。」
“What are you doing?” the medic in the passenger seat yelled. “Stop! You’re going to get fired.”
新手無視他。他知道他聽到的聲音是真實的。他觸發除顫器對屍體進行電擊。我的視野被一道白光填滿。
The rookie ignored him. He knew that the voice he had heard was real. He triggered the defibrillator to shock the body. My vision was filled with a flash of white.
沒有心跳。
No heartbeat.
高級急救員轉過身，厲聲說：「別胡鬧了。他已經死了。別管他了。你得知道什麼時候該放手。」
The head medic turned around and snapped, “Stop messing around. He’s dead. Leave him alone. You need to know when to let go.”
除顫器再次顯示已充電並準備好。他第二次電擊屍體。這次我沒看到閃光。心臟監測器記錄到一次心跳，然後又沒了。
The defibrillator signaled that it was charged and ready again. He shocked the body a second time. I didn’t see a flash this time. The heart monitor registered a single heartbeat, then nothing.
「這會記在你的檔案裡，」第二名急救員說。「你最好停下來，不然你真的會被開除。」
“This will go in your record,” the second medic said. “You’d better stop, or you’re going to get fired.”
除顫器再次準備好。新手第三次觸發機器，對屍體送出一陣電擊。沒反應。然後……一陣心跳。起初平穩，然後越來越強，穩定。
The defibrillator was ready again. The rookie triggered the machine a third time, sending a jolt through the body. Nothing. And then…a heartbeat. Moderate at first, then stronger and steady.
「我有心跳了！」
“I have a heartbeat!”
前座的急救員們驚訝地面面相覷。然後副駕駛座的急救員爬過座位，協助新手。
The medics in the front looked at each other with wide eyes. Then the medic on the passenger side climbed over his seat to aid the rookie.
救護車距離一家設備齊全的急診中心只有幾分鐘的路程。司機抓起無線電，向廷帕諾戈斯地區醫院報告了一系列代碼。他打開警燈和警笛，改變路線前往醫院。
The ambulance was only minutes away from a fully equipped emergency center. The driver grabbed the radio and rattled off a series of codes to Timpanogos Regional Hospital. He flipped on his lights and sirens and changed course for the hospital.
兩名急救員瘋狂地為復甦的屍體準備送往醫院。他們的手動得太快，我幾乎跟不上他們在做什麼：移除束帶，剪掉剩下的屍袋，胸部注射一針，手臂再注射一針。我感受到他們散發出的喜悅，我也分享了他們救活那個可憐人的快樂，無論他是誰。
The two medics worked frantically to prepare the revived body for the hospital. Their hands moved so fast that I could barely follow what they were doing: removing straps, cutting away the rest of the body bag, an injection into the chest, another into the arm. I felt the joy radiating from them, and I shared in their happiness in saving that poor man, whoever he was.
救護車開進急診室入口，一名醫生和兩名護士帶著擔架在等候。急救員們將病人從救護車後部推下，將年輕人所在的板子從一個擔架抬到另一個擔架上。他們抽出板子，然後撕下仍黏在身上的屍袋殘片。
The ambulance pulled into the emergency room entrance where a doctor and two nurses waited with a gurney. The medics rolled their patient out of the back of the ambulance and lifted the board the young man was resting on from one gurney to the other. They slid the board out from under him, then pulled away the tattered remnants of the body bag that still adhered to the man’s body.
另一名醫生和護士加入，醫療團隊推著屍體進去，沿著走廊前行。突然，那人開始抽搐。一名護士跑去拿束帶固定他亂動的四肢。她回來綁住他的雙腿，然後是右臂，開始綁左臂。就在這時，我感到自己的左臂被拉扯。我本能地用力反抗。與此同時，那人的左臂從床上掙脫了束帶。直到這一刻，我才意識到我在看著自己的復甦。
Joined by another doctor and nurse, the medical team wheeled the body inside and down the hallway. Suddenly, the man started to convulse. A nurse ran to grab straps to secure his flailing limbs. She returned and strapped down his legs, then right arm, and started to strap down the left arm. As she did so, I felt a pull on my own left arm. I reflexively pulled hard against it. At the same time, the man’s left arm pulled the strap free from the bed. It was only then that I realized that I was watching my own resuscitation.
我周圍的涼爽感變成了刺骨的寒冷，恐懼攫住了我。我不知道接下來會發生什麼。如果我已經死了，為什麼我還在這裡？我感受到醫療團隊竭盡全力讓我的身體活下去的恐慌和恐懼。他們的恐懼加劇了我的恐懼，一團暗灰色的霧氣包圍了我，我陷入了一片黑暗的絕望。
The feeling of coolness around me turned bitter cold as fear gripped me. I did not know what was going to happen next. If I had died, then why was I still here? I felt the panic and fear of the medical team doing their best to keep my body alive. Their fear fed my fear, and a dark gray fog closed in around me as I spiraled into a dark despair.