第十九章：家庭的力量
Chapter 19: The Power of Family
父親的家族每年夏天都會在懷俄明州西部崎嶇的 Star Valley 地區，一個名叫 Afton 的小鎮舉辦家庭團聚。這類活動過去常因我忙碌而無暇參加，甚至十多年都沒去過，但今年在 Andrea 的影響下，我決定參加，而且 Andrea 也得以一同同行。
My father’s family had a regular summer reunion in a little town called Afton in the rugged Star Valley region of western Wyoming. It’s the sort of thing that I would have usually been “too busy” to go to before, and I hadn’t been in over a decade, but this year, due to Andrea’s influence, I decided to go. It helped that Andrea was able to go with me.
我從未記得自己在家庭團聚中玩得這麼盡興，每逢見面，我總毫不吝嗇地把我的未婚妻介紹給所有親戚。整個白天，大家不斷問我們晚上的“表演”準備好了沒有。
I couldn’t remember ever having more fun at a reunion. I took every opportunity to introduce my fiancée to all of my relatives. Throughout the day, everyone kept asking us if we were going to the show that night.
所謂“表演”是一場由當地高中製作的選美遊行，講述 Star Valley 的歷史。父親的祖先是1880年代該地首批定居者之一，所以聽起來用這種方式度過夜晚頗有意思。學校戲劇社甚至把橄欖球場變成了戶外劇場，設有投影幕和木製舞台。
The “show” was a pageant that the local high school produced about the history of Star Valley. My father’s ancestors were among the first settlers in the area in the 1880s, so it sounded like an interesting way to spend the evening. The high school drama club had turned the football field into an outdoor theater, with a movie screen and a wooden stage.
對於這麼個小鎮而言，這樣的人數已經不錯了，尤其是這是演出的第二晚，大約 400 多位觀眾主要集中在看台下半部。人多讓我覺得幽閉，所以我們找了一個靠近投影幕上半部的空位坐下。
The turnout was good for such a small town, especially since this was the second night of the performance. Most of the four hundred or so attendees were clustered in the bottom half of the bleachers. I still felt claustrophobic in crowds, so we found an open spot near the top, directly in front of the movie screen.
雖然已是七月，但太陽一落山，氣溫立刻轉涼。整場表演中，當地的小孩、青少年和成人透過歌唱、舞蹈以及短劇講述 Star Valley 的歷史，他們輪流登台表演和在幕布上播放歷史照片，展示這片土地的豐富過去以及我家族在其中扮演的角色。
Even though it was July, the air turned chilly as soon as the sun disappeared. Throughout the pageant, the local children, teenagers, and adults related the history of Star Valley through singing, dancing, and skits. They alternated between performing on the stage and showing pictures on the screen, showing the area’s rich history and my family’s part in it.
表演的籌辦者們收集了早期定居的歷史照片，並分享了那個年代的信件與日記，講述先民如何在艱困的荒野中開創城鎮的歷程。他們還述說了 Afton 創始人的故事，其中大部分人都屬於當地的宗教社群。
The show’s organizers had gathered historical photographs of the early settlement, and shared letters and journal entries from the era, teaching about the first settlers in the area and the hardships they faced working to carve a town out of the rough wilderness. They shared stories of the people who founded Afton, most of whom were part of the local religious community.
隨著夜幕漸深，氣溫不斷下降，我的興致也逐漸消退，於是當 Andrea 說：「我快冷死了。」時，我便回答：「走吧。」
As the night wore on, and the temperature continued to drop, my interest faded, so when Andrea said, “I’m getting really cold.” I said, “Let’s go.”
當我準備站起身時，Andrea 卻一動不動，彷彿被電影幕上某幅影像深深吸引。
As I stood to go, Andrea didn’t move. She seemed entranced by an image on the movie screen.
我問道：「你改變主意了嗎？」
“Did you change your mind?” I asked.
她轉向我，眼睛瞪得大大的，問：「Vinney，那是你的嚮導嗎？」
She turned to me, her eyes wide. “Vinney, is that your guide?”
我回頭看去，見電影幕上正投影著一張黑白照片，是一位早期定居者的影像。頓時，我彷彿被一盆冰水澆透——那正是 Drake。
I turned back to see a black and white photograph of one of the settlers projected on the screen. I felt as if a pitcher of ice water had been poured down my back. It was Drake.
她問：「那是不是他？」這又是 Andrea 與更高頻率調諧的又一個實例。
“That’s him, right?” It was yet another example of how Andrea lived in tune with higher frequencies.
我就這樣站著，眼淚不自覺地流下。照片裡那銳利的目光無可置疑，他作為我的嚮導的特徵，一縷縷鬍渣由兩端更為整齊、稍顯修長，頭髮在照片中梳向後方，與我初見時那自由流動的模樣截然不同。儘管照片中他顯得比我靈魂中認識的他老許多，但我知道，那正是他，一切都吻合。
I just stood there as tears rolled down my cheeks. It was him; his piercing eyes were unmistakable. The beard he wore as my guide was cleaner on the ends, and a little longer, and his hair was combed back in the picture, not flowing like when I met him. He looked a lot older in the picture than when I knew him in spirit, yet, I knew it was him. Everything matched.
一切都相符，唯獨他的名字不一樣。在那影像下方，赫然寫著「Chrs. D. Cazier」。
Everything except his name. Below the image of the man was written the name “Chrs. D. Cazier.”
終於，我說道：「那就是他。」
“That’s him,” I finally said.
回程途中，Andrea 想讓我再多談談我與 Drake 的經歷，但我當時受了太大震撼，一時語塞。再見 Drake 的那一刻，猶如情緒的洪水猛獸衝破心扉，兩個世界在我腦海中激烈碰撞，湧起無數思緒與情感。
Andrea asked me to share more about my experience with Drake with her on the drive back to the hotel, but I was too shaken to even speak. Seeing Drake again opened a floodgate of emotions that I was simply not prepared for. A torrent of thoughts and feelings churned inside of me as the two worlds inside my head collided.
我頓悟，直到那一刻，我在某種程度上一直將彼岸的經歷合理化為幻覺，甚至曾認為心理學家所說的——那是因缺氧而使大腦自動補齊空白的結果——是正確的。
I realized that up until that moment I had, to some degree, rationalized my experience on the other side as an illusion. I had even considered that the psychologist’s explanation was correct—that what I thought I saw was just my brain filling in the gaps due to lack of oxygen.
我有充分理由不願相信所經歷的一切。若要接受另一個世界的現實，就意味著我不僅必須改變看待世界的方式，更要重塑對自己與他人的認識。
I had a big reason for not wanting to believe what I’d experienced. To accept the reality of the other world would mean that I would not only have to change the way I saw the world, but myself and everyone else as well.
這意味著我要徹底改變生活方式，而人類最抗拒的正是「變革」(Induced shift)——這也解釋了為何我們總花更多時間和精力去確證自己既有的信念，而非追求真理。
It meant that I would have to radically change the way I lived my life and, if there’s one thing we humans resist, it’s change—which is why we spend much more time and effort confirming what we already believe than seeking truth.
但我的大腦絕不可能憑空捏造出一個名字與面孔，這是一位生活在一百多年前的男人——直到那晚，我才知道這人竟然存在。我再也無法躲在合理否認的藉口後面，否認 Drake 以及他所呈現的一切僅僅是缺氧大腦編造的幻影。
But my brain could not have invented the name and face of a man who had lived over a century ago—a man I didn’t, until that night, even know existed. I could no longer hide behind the plausible denial that Drake and what he showed me were just figments of an oxygen-starved brain.
我的經歷是真實的，我不能再否認。唯一讓我感到困惑的是，我竟認得「Cazier」這個姓，竟是我祖母的娘家姓，而「Chrs」則是「Charles」的縮寫，但我的嚮導卻自稱 Drake。
My experience had been real, and I could no longer deny it. Still, one thing puzzled me. I recognized the last name Cazier as my grandmother’s maiden name, and “Chrs” was an abbreviation for Charles. But my guide had introduced himself as Drake.
第二天，Andrea 和我走向祖母那邊。我走上前問道：「奶奶，您認識一個叫 Charles Cazier 的人嗎？」
The next day, Andrea and I approached my grandmother. “Grandma,” I asked, “did you know a Charles Cazier?” “Of course,” she said. “That’s great-grandpa Drake.”
「他叫 Drake？」
“He went by Drake?”
「大家都是這麼叫他的。」
“That’s what everyone called him.”
我再次不禁情緒激動起來——Drake 正是我的玄祖父。
I was once again overcome with emotion. Drake was my great- great-great-grandfather.
第19章：家庭的力量
Chapter 19: The Power of Family
我父親的家族在懷俄明州西部的崎嶇星谷地區的小鎮阿夫頓定期舉辦夏季重聚。這種活動在以前我通常會因為「太忙」而不去，而我已經有十多年沒有參加過，但今年因為安德莉亞的影響，我決定去。安德莉亞能和我一起去，這讓我更有動力。
My father’s family had a regular summer reunion in a little town called Afton in the rugged Star Valley region of western Wyoming. It’s the sort of thing that I would have usually been “too busy” to go to before, and I hadn’t been in over a decade, but this year, due to Andrea’s influence, I decided to go. It helped that Andrea was able to go with me.
我不記得在重聚中有過這麼多的樂趣。我抓住每個機會向我的親戚介紹我的未婚妻。在整個白天，大家都不斷問我們是否會去那晚的表演。
I couldn’t remember ever having more fun at a reunion. I took every opportunity to introduce my fiancée to all of my relatives. Throughout the day, everyone kept asking us if we were going to the show that night.
這場「表演」是當地高中製作的關於星谷歷史的頁ant。我的父親的祖先是1880年代該地區的第一批定居者，所以這聽起來是個有趣的晚上活動。高中戲劇社把足球場變成了戶外劇院，設有電影屏幕和木製舞台。
The “show” was a pageant that the local high school produced about the history of Star Valley. My father’s ancestors were among the first settlers in the area in the 1880s, so it sounded like an interesting way to spend the evening. The high school drama club had turned the football field into an outdoor theater, with a movie screen and a wooden stage.
對於這麼小的鎮來說，出席人數相當可觀，尤其是這是表演的第二晚。大約四百名觀眾大多聚集在看台的下半部分。我在擁擠的人群中仍然感到幽閉恐懼，所以我們找了一個靠近頂部的空位，正好在電影屏幕前面。
The turnout was good for such a small town, especially since this was the second night of the performance. Most of the four hundred or so attendees were clustered in the bottom half of the bleachers. I still felt claustrophobic in crowds, so we found an open spot near the top, directly in front of the movie screen.
儘管是七月，當太陽消失時，空氣變得寒冷。在整個頁ant中，當地的孩子、青少年和成年人通過唱歌、跳舞和小品講述星谷的歷史。他們交替在舞台上表演和在屏幕上顯示圖片，展示該地區的豐富歷史以及我家族在其中的角色。
Even though it was July, the air turned chilly as soon as the sun disappeared. Throughout the pageant, the local children, teenagers, and adults related the history of Star Valley through singing, dancing, and skits. They alternated between performing on the stage and showing pictures on the screen, showing the area’s rich history and my family’s part in it.
表演的組織者收集了早期定居的歷史照片，並分享了那個時代的信件和日記條目，講述了該地區的第一批定居者及他們在開創城鎮時所面臨的艱難困苦。他們分享了創立阿夫頓的人的故事，其中大多數人都是當地宗教社區的一部分。
The show’s organizers had gathered historical photographs of the early settlement, and shared letters and journal entries from the era, teaching about the first settlers in the area and the hardships they faced working to carve a town out of the rough wilderness. They shared stories of the people who founded Afton, most of whom were part of the local religious community.
隨著夜晚的推移，氣溫持續下降，我的興趣漸漸消退，所以當安德莉亞說：「我真的很冷。」我說：「我們走吧。」
As the night wore on, and the temperature continued to drop, my interest faded, so when Andrea said, “I’m getting really cold.” I said, “Let’s go.”
當我站起來準備離開時，安德莉亞卻沒有動。她似乎被電影屏幕上的一幅畫面迷住了。
As I stood to go, Andrea didn’t move. She seemed entranced by an image on the movie screen.
「你改變主意了嗎？」我問。
“Did you change your mind?” I asked.
她轉向我，眼睛睜得很大。「文尼，那是你的指導者嗎？」
She turned to me, her eyes wide. “Vinney, is that your guide?”
我轉回去看，屏幕上投影出一張定居者的黑白照片。我感覺就像一壺冰水從背上倒下來。那是德瑞克。
I turned back to see a black and white photograph of one of the settlers projected on the screen. I felt as if a pitcher of ice water had been poured down my back. It was Drake.
「那就是他，對吧？」這又是一個安德莉亞與更高頻率和諧共處的例子。
“That’s him, right?” It was yet another example of how Andrea lived in tune with higher frequencies.
我只是站在那裡，淚水順著臉頰流下。那是他；他那雙銳利的眼睛無法錯認。他作為我指導者時的鬍鬚在邊緣處更乾淨，稍微長一些，照片中的頭髮向後梳理，而不是像我第一次見到他時那樣披肩。他在照片中看起來比我在靈界認識他時要老得多，但我知道那是他。一切都對得上。
I just stood there as tears rolled down my cheeks. It was him; his piercing eyes were unmistakable. The beard he wore as my guide was cleaner on the ends, and a little longer, and his hair was combed back in the picture, not flowing like when I met him. He looked a lot older in the picture than when I knew him in spirit, yet, I knew it was him. Everything matched.
除了他的名字。那個男人的圖片下寫著「Chrs. D. Cazier」的名字。
Everything except his name. Below the image of the man was written the name “Chrs. D. Cazier.”
「那就是他，」我終於說。
“That’s him,” I finally said.
安德莉亞在回酒店的路上請我分享更多我與德瑞克的經歷，但我太震驚了，甚至無法開口。再次見到德瑞克打開了我情感的洪流，我根本沒有準備好。當我腦海中的兩個世界碰撞時，內心湧起一陣思緒和感受的漩渦。
Andrea asked me to share more about my experience with Drake with her on the drive back to the hotel, but I was too shaken to even speak. Seeing Drake again opened a floodgate of emotions that I was simply not prepared for. A torrent of thoughts and feelings churned inside of me as the two worlds inside my head collided.
我意識到直到那一刻為止，我在某種程度上一直將我在另一邊的經歷合理化為一種幻覺。我甚至考慮過心理學家的解釋是正確的——我所認為看到的只是我的大腦因缺氧而填補的空白。
I realized that up until that moment I had, to some degree, rationalized my experience on the other side as an illusion. I had even considered that the psychologist’s explanation was correct—that what I thought I saw was just my brain filling in the gaps due to lack of oxygen.
我不想相信我所經歷的事情有一個很大的原因。接受另一個世界的現實意味著我不僅需要改變我看待世界的方式，還要改變對自己和其他人的看法。
I had a big reason for not wanting to believe what I’d experienced. To accept the reality of the other world would mean that I would not only have to change the way I saw the world, but myself and everyone else as well.
這意味著我必須徹底改變我的生活方式，而如果有一件事情是我們人類所抵抗的，那就是改變——這就是為什麼我們花費更多的時間和精力來確認我們已經相信的事情，而不是尋求真相。
It meant that I would have to radically change the way I lived my life and, if there’s one thing we humans resist, it’s change—which is why we spend much more time and effort confirming what we already believe than seeking truth.
但我的大腦不可能編造出一個生活在一個多世紀前的人的名字和面孔——一個直到那晚我甚至不知道他存在的人。我再也無法躲在合理的否認背後，認為德瑞克和他所展示的只是缺氧大腦的幻影。
But my brain could not have invented the name and face of a man who had lived over a century ago—a man I didn’t, until that night, even know existed. I could no longer hide behind the plausible denial that Drake and what he showed me were just figments of an oxygen-starved brain.
我的經歷是真實的，我再也無法否認它。然而，有一件事讓我感到困惑。我認出了「Cazier」這個姓氏是我祖母的娘家姓，而「Chrs」是查爾斯的縮寫。但我的指導者卻自我介紹為德瑞克。
My experience had been real, and I could no longer deny it. Still, one thing puzzled me. I recognized the last name Cazier as my grandmother’s maiden name, and “Chrs” was an abbreviation for Charles. But my guide had introduced himself as Drake.
第二天，安德莉亞和我去找我的祖母。「奶奶，」我問，「你認識查爾斯·卡齊爾嗎？」 「當然，」她說。「那是曾曾祖父德瑞克。」
The next day, Andrea and I approached my grandmother. “Grandma,” I asked, “did you know a Charles Cazier?” “Of course,” she said. “That’s great-grandpa Drake.”
「他叫德瑞克？」
“He went by Drake?”
「那是大家對他的稱呼。」
“That’s what everyone called him.”
我再次被情感所淹沒。德瑞克是我的曾曾曾祖父。
I was once again overcome with emotion. Drake was my great- great-great-grandfather.
第19章：家庭的力量
Chapter 19: The Power of Family
我父親的家族每年夏天都會在懷俄明州西部崎嶇的星谷地區的一個叫做Afton的小鎮舉行聚會。這是我以前總是“太忙”而無法參加的活動，已經有十多年沒去過了，但今年，由於Andrea的影響，我決定去。Andrea能和我一起去也幫了不少忙。
My father’s family had a regular summer reunion in a little town called Afton in the rugged Star Valley region of western Wyoming. It’s the sort of thing that I would have usually been “too busy” to go to before, and I hadn’t been in over a decade, but this year, due to Andrea’s influence, I decided to go. It helped that Andrea was able to go with me.
我不記得在聚會上有過這麼多樂趣。我抓住每個機會向我的親戚介紹我的未婚妻。整天大家都在問我們晚上是否會去看表演。
I couldn’t remember ever having more fun at a reunion. I took every opportunity to introduce my fiancée to all of my relatives. Throughout the day, everyone kept asking us if we were going to the show that night.
這個“表演”是當地高中製作的一場關於星谷歷史的演出。我父親的祖先是1880年代該地區的第一批定居者之一，所以這聽起來是個度過晚上的有趣方式。高中戲劇社把足球場變成了一個露天劇場，有一個電影屏幕和一個木製舞台。
The “show” was a pageant that the local high school produced about the history of Star Valley. My father’s ancestors were among the first settlers in the area in the 1880s, so it sounded like an interesting way to spend the evening. The high school drama club had turned the football field into an outdoor theater, with a movie screen and a wooden stage.
對於這樣一個小鎮來說，出席率算不錯，尤其是這是第二晚的演出。大約四百名觀眾大多聚集在看台的下半部分。我在人群中仍然感到幽閉恐懼，所以我們在靠近頂部、正對著電影屏幕的地方找了一個空位。
The turnout was good for such a small town, especially since this was the second night of the performance. Most of the four hundred or so attendees were clustered in the bottom half of the bleachers. I still felt claustrophobic in crowds, so we found an open spot near the top, directly in front of the movie screen.
儘管是七月，太陽一消失，空氣就變得寒冷。整場演出中，當地的孩子、青少年和成年人通過唱歌、跳舞和短劇講述了星谷的歷史。他們在舞台表演和屏幕上展示圖片之間交替，展示了該地區豐富的歷史以及我家族在其中的角色。
Even though it was July, the air turned chilly as soon as the sun disappeared. Throughout the pageant, the local children, teenagers, and adults related the history of Star Valley through singing, dancing, and skits. They alternated between performing on the stage and showing pictures on the screen, showing the area’s rich history and my family’s part in it.
演出的組織者收集了早期定居的歷史照片，並分享了那個時代的信件和日記，講述了該地區第一批定居者的故事以及他們在荒野中建立城鎮所面臨的困難。他們分享了創建Afton的人的故事，其中大多數是當地宗教社區的一部分。
The show’s organizers had gathered historical photographs of the early settlement, and shared letters and journal entries from the era, teaching about the first settlers in the area and the hardships they faced working to carve a town out of the rough wilderness. They shared stories of the people who founded Afton, most of whom were part of the local religious community.
隨著夜色漸深，氣溫繼續下降，我的興趣減退，所以當Andrea說：“我真的很冷。”我說：“我們走吧。”
As the night wore on, and the temperature continued to drop, my interest faded, so when Andrea said, “I’m getting really cold.” I said, “Let’s go.”
當我站起來準備離開時，Andrea沒有動。她似乎被電影屏幕上的一幅圖像吸引住了。
As I stood to go, Andrea didn’t move. She seemed entranced by an image on the movie screen.
“你改變主意了嗎？”我問。
“Did you change your mind?” I asked.
她轉向我，眼睛睜得大大的。“Vinney，那是你的指導者嗎？”
She turned to me, her eyes wide. “Vinney, is that your guide?”
我轉過身去看屏幕上投影的一張定居者的黑白照片。我感覺像是一壺冰水倒在我背上。那是德雷克。
I turned back to see a black and white photograph of one of the settlers projected on the screen. I felt as if a pitcher of ice water had been poured down my back. It was Drake.
“那是他，對吧？”這又是一個例子，說明Andrea如何與更高的頻率協調一致。
“That’s him, right?” It was yet another example of how Andrea lived in tune with higher frequencies.
我只是站在那裡，淚水流過我的臉頰。是他；他那銳利的眼神無法錯認。他作為我的指導者時留的鬍子在末端更整齊，也稍微長一些，照片中的頭髮是梳向後的，而不是我見到他時那樣飄逸。他在照片中看起來比我認識他時老了很多，但我知道那是他。一切都吻合。
I just stood there as tears rolled down my cheeks. It was him; his piercing eyes were unmistakable. The beard he wore as my guide was cleaner on the ends, and a little longer, and his hair was combed back in the picture, not flowing like when I met him. He looked a lot older in the picture than when I knew him in spirit, yet, I knew it was him. Everything matched.
除了他的名字。照片下方寫著“Chrs. D. Cazier”。
Everything except his name. Below the image of the man was written the name “Chrs. D. Cazier.”
“就是他，”我終於說。
“That’s him,” I finally said.
Andrea在回酒店的路上請我多分享一些我與德雷克的經歷，但我震驚得說不出話來。再次看到德雷克打開了我情感的閘門，我根本沒有準備好。當我腦海中的兩個世界碰撞時，一連串的思緒和感受在我內心翻騰。
Andrea asked me to share more about my experience with Drake with her on the drive back to the hotel, but I was too shaken to even speak. Seeing Drake again opened a floodgate of emotions that I was simply not prepared for. A torrent of thoughts and feelings churned inside of me as the two worlds inside my head collided.
我意識到直到那一刻，我在某種程度上把我在另一邊的經歷合理化為一種幻覺。我甚至考慮過心理學家的解釋是正確的——我以為我看到的只是我的大腦因缺氧而填補的空白。
I realized that up until that moment I had, to some degree, rationalized my experience on the other side as an illusion. I had even considered that the psychologist’s explanation was correct—that what I thought I saw was just my brain filling in the gaps due to lack of oxygen.
我不想相信我所經歷的事情有一個很大的原因。接受另一個世界的現實意味著我不僅要改變看待世界的方式，還要改變看待自己和他人的方式。
I had a big reason for not wanting to believe what I’d experienced. To accept the reality of the other world would mean that I would not only have to change the way I saw the world, but myself and everyone else as well.
這意味著我必須徹底改變我的生活方式，而如果有一件事我們人類抗拒，那就是改變——這就是為什麼我們花更多的時間和精力確認我們已經相信的東西，而不是尋求真相。
It meant that I would have to radically change the way I lived my life and, if there’s one thing we humans resist, it’s change—which is why we spend much more time and effort confirming what we already believe than seeking truth.
但我的大腦不可能編造出一個一百多年前生活過的人的名字和面孔——直到那天晚上，我甚至不知道他存在。我再也不能躲在合理否認的背後，說德雷克和他給我看的東西只是缺氧大腦的幻影。
But my brain could not have invented the name and face of a man who had lived over a century ago—a man I didn’t, until that night, even know existed. I could no longer hide behind the plausible denial that Drake and what he showed me were just figments of an oxygen-starved brain.
我的經歷是真實的，我再也無法否認。然而，有一件事讓我困惑。我認出Cazier這個姓是我祖母的娘家姓，而“Chrs”是Charles的縮寫。但我的指導者自我介紹時是德雷克。
My experience had been real, and I could no longer deny it. Still, one thing puzzled me. I recognized the last name Cazier as my grandmother’s maiden name, and “Chrs” was an abbreviation for Charles. But my guide had introduced himself as Drake.
第二天，Andrea和我去找我的祖母。“奶奶，”我問，“你認識一個叫Charles Cazier的人嗎？”“當然，”她說。“那是曾祖父德雷克。”
The next day, Andrea and I approached my grandmother. “Grandma,” I asked, “did you know a Charles Cazier?” “Of course,” she said. “That’s great-grandpa Drake.”
“他叫德雷克？”
“He went by Drake?”
“大家都這麼叫他。”
“That’s what everyone called him.”
我再次被情感淹沒。德雷克是我的曾曾曾祖父。
I was once again overcome with emotion. Drake was my great- great-great-grandfather.
第十九章：家庭的力量
Chapter 19: The Power of Family
我父親的家族在懷俄明州西部崎嶇的星谷地區一個名叫阿夫頓的小鎮定期舉行夏季聚會。這類活動在過去我通常會以「太忙」為由推辭，過去十年我都沒參加過，但今年，在安德莉亞的影響下，我決定參加。安德莉亞能和我一起去也幫了大忙。
My father’s family had a regular summer reunion in a little town called Afton in the rugged Star Valley region of western Wyoming. It’s the sort of thing that I would have usually been “too busy” to go to before, and I hadn’t been in over a decade, but this year, due to Andrea’s influence, I decided to go. It helped that Andrea was able to go with me.
我記不得曾經在家族聚會中玩得這麼開心。我抓住每個機會向親戚們介紹我的未婚妻。整天都有人問我們晚上是否去看表演。
I couldn’t remember ever having more fun at a reunion. I took every opportunity to introduce my fiancée to all of my relatives. Throughout the day, everyone kept asking us if we were going to the show that night.
這場「表演」是當地高中製作的關於星谷歷史的盛會。我父親的祖先是1880年代該地區的首批定居者，所以這聽起來是個有趣的夜晚活動。高中戲劇俱樂部將足球場改造成戶外劇院，配有電影螢幕和木製舞台。
The “show” was a pageant that the local high school produced about the history of Star Valley. My father’s ancestors were among the first settlers in the area in the 1880s, so it sounded like an interesting way to spend the evening. The high school drama club had turned the football field into an outdoor theater, with a movie screen and a wooden stage.
對於這樣一個小鎮來說，觀眾人數不少，尤其是這是表演的第二晚。大約四百名觀眾大多聚集在看台的下半部分。我在人群中仍感到幽閉恐懼，所以我們在靠近頂部、電影螢幕正前方的位置找到了一個空位。
The turnout was good for such a small town, especially since this was the second night of the performance. Most of the four hundred or so attendees were clustered in the bottom half of the bleachers. I still felt claustrophobic in crowds, so we found an open spot near the top, directly in front of the movie screen.
雖然是七月，太陽一落山，空氣立刻變得寒冷。整場表演中，當地的小孩、青少年和成人通過歌唱、舞蹈和短劇講述星谷的歷史。他們在舞台表演和螢幕展示圖片之間交替，呈現該地區的豐富歷史以及我家族的角色。
Even though it was July, the air turned chilly as soon as the sun disappeared. Throughout the pageant, the local children, teenagers, and adults related the history of Star Valley through singing, dancing, and skits. They alternated between performing on the stage and showing pictures on the screen, showing the area’s rich history and my family’s part in it.
表演的組織者收集了早期定居的歷史照片，並分享了那個時代的信件和日記，講述首批定居者在此地開墾荒野的艱辛。他們分享了創建阿夫頓的人們的故事，其中大多數是當地宗教社群的一部分。
The show’s organizers had gathered historical photographs of the early settlement, and shared letters and journal entries from the era, teaching about the first settlers in the area and the hardships they faced working to carve a town out of the rough wilderness. They shared stories of the people who founded Afton, most of whom were part of the local religious community.
隨著夜晚進行，氣溫持續下降，我的興趣逐漸減退，當安德莉亞說：「我真的好冷。」我說：「我們走吧。」
As the night wore on, and the temperature continued to drop, my interest faded, so when Andrea said, “I’m getting really cold.” I said, “Let’s go.”
當我站起來要走時，安德莉亞沒動。她似乎被電影螢幕上的一張圖片迷住了。
As I stood to go, Andrea didn’t move. She seemed entranced by an image on the movie screen.
「你改變主意了？」我問。
“Did you change your mind?” I asked.
她轉向我，眼睛睜大。「維尼，那是你的引導者嗎？」
She turned to me, her eyes wide. “Vinney, is that your guide?”
我轉身看到螢幕上投射出一張黑白照片，是一位定居者。我感覺像一桶冰水從背後潑下。那是德雷克。
I turned back to see a black and white photograph of one of the settlers projected on the screen. I felt as if a pitcher of ice water had been poured down my back. It was Drake.
「是他，對吧？」這再次證明了安德莉亞如何與更高頻率共鳴。
“That’s him, right?” It was yet another example of how Andrea lived in tune with higher frequencies.
我只是站在那裡，淚水從臉頰流下。是他；他那銳利的眼睛無可錯認。他作為我的引導者時的鬍子末端更乾淨，稍長一些，照片中他的頭髮向後梳理，而不是像我見他時那樣飄逸。照片中的他看起來比我在靈界認識的他老很多，但我知道是他。一切都吻合。
I just stood there as tears rolled down my cheeks. It was him; his piercing eyes were unmistakable. The beard he wore as my guide was cleaner on the ends, and a little longer, and his hair was combed back in the picture, not flowing like when I met him. He looked a lot older in the picture than when I knew him in spirit, yet, I knew it was him. Everything matched.
除了他的名字。照片下寫著「Chrs. D. Cazier」。
Everything except his name. Below the image of the man was written the name “Chrs. D. Cazier.”
「是他，」我終於說。
“That’s him,” I finally said.
安德莉亞在回酒店的路上讓我多分享一些與德雷克的經歷，但我太震驚，無法說話。再次見到德雷克打開了我未準備好的情感閘門。思緒和感受在我腦海中兩個世界碰撞時翻騰。
Andrea asked me to share more about my experience with Drake with her on the drive back to the hotel, but I was too shaken to even speak. Seeing Drake again opened a floodgate of emotions that I was simply not prepared for. A torrent of thoughts and feelings churned inside of me as the two worlds inside my head collided.
我意識到，直到那一刻，我在某種程度上將我在另一邊的經歷合理化為幻覺。我甚至考慮過心理學家的解釋是正確的——我以為我看到的只是因為缺氧導致大腦填補空白。
I realized that up until that moment I had, to some degree, rationalized my experience on the other side as an illusion. I had even considered that the psychologist’s explanation was correct—that what I thought I saw was just my brain filling in the gaps due to lack of oxygen.
我有個重要理由不想相信我經歷的東西。接受另一個世界的真實性意味著我不僅要改變看待世界的方式，還要改變對自己和每個人的看法。
I had a big reason for not wanting to believe what I’d experienced. To accept the reality of the other world would mean that I would not only have to change the way I saw the world, but myself and everyone else as well.
這意味著我必須徹底改變我的生活方式，而如果人類有什麼抗拒的，那就是改變——這就是為什麼我們花更多時間和精力去確認我們已相信的東西，而不是尋求真理。
It meant that I would have to radically change the way I lived my life and, if there’s one thing we humans resist, it’s change—which is why we spend much more time and effort confirming what we already believe than seeking truth.
但我的大腦不可能編造一個一個多世紀前生活的人的名字和面孔——一個直到那晚我都不知道存在的人。我再也無法躲在「德雷克和他展示的一切只是缺氧大腦的幻覺」這種合理的否認背後。
But my brain could not have invented the name and face of a man who had lived over a century ago—a man I didn’t, until that night, even know existed. I could no longer hide behind the plausible denial that Drake and what he showed me were just figments of an oxygen-starved brain.
我的經歷是真實的，我再也無法否認。但有一件事讓我困惑。我認出Cazier是我祖母的娘家姓，而「Chrs」是Charles的縮寫。但我的引導者介紹自己時說是Drake。
My experience had been real, and I could no longer deny it. Still, one thing puzzled me. I recognized the last name Cazier as my grandmother’s maiden name, and “Chrs” was an abbreviation for Charles. But my guide had introduced himself as Drake.
第二天，我和安德莉亞找到我祖母。「奶奶，」我問，「你認識Charles Cazier嗎？」「當然，」她說。「那是曾曾曾祖父Drake。」
The next day, Andrea and I approached my grandmother. “Grandma,” I asked, “did you know a Charles Cazier?” “Of course,” she said. “That’s great-grandpa Drake.”
「他被稱為Drake？」
“He went by Drake?”
「大家都這麼叫他。」
“That’s what everyone called him.”
我再次被情感淹沒。德雷克是我的曾曾曾祖父。
I was once again overcome with emotion. Drake was my great- great-great-grandfather.