晨星的細語

The Rustle of the Morning Stars

我正被鄰居那吠叫不休的狗吵醒。這討厭的動物總是不斷打擾我，實在令人火大！為何我要因他人寵物的噪音而清晨驚醒？我決定出門散步，平復心情，轉移那想要縱火焚燒鄰居房子的瘋狂念頭。大家常說狗是主人的鏡子，而這隻小狗確實如此。生活中總有些傻瓜試圖讓你心情低落。就在我壓力山大準備穿衣時，我的拖鞋又神秘失蹤了。你們這些狡猾的小傢伙究竟藏哪去了？等我找到你們，一定要把你們扔出去！

I was woken by the neighbour’s dog barking. The nasty animal was always waking me up. How I hated it! Why should I have to be woken up by the noise of someone else’s pet? I decided to go out for a walk, calm down and distract myself from the intense desire to set fire to my neighbour’s house. They say dogs are like their owners. This one was. There always seemed to be some idiot in my life trying to get me down. Feeling stressed I started to get dressed. My slippers had disappeared again. Where are you, you sneaky little buggers? When I find you I will chuck you out!

外面濃霧瀰漫，空氣中充滿潮濕的寒意。我沿著那條滑溜的小徑穿過陰沉的森林，幾乎所有樹葉都已凋零，只留下那些枯萎樹木灰暗的樹幹。為何我總要住在這如此壓抑的沼澤中？我伸手去拿香煙，其實並不是特別想抽，只是老習慣在召喚我而已。究竟何時起，我變得如此依賴香煙？空腹抽煙真讓人感覺糟透了。我曾只是社交場合的小酌，認為這是一種時尚的象徵，自由與風格的標誌；但當派對結束，日常朦朧雨絲隨之而來，各種問題像黏稠的水泡般湧現時，情況就大不相同了。你一根根地抽著煙，彷彿在對自己輕聲說道：「就吸這一下，喘口氣，再回到那令人厭煩的常規生活中。」

It was foggy and damp outside. I walked along the slippery path through the gloomy forest. Almost all the leaves had fallen, exposing the grey trunks of half- dead trees. Why do I live in the middle of this depressing bog? I reached for a cigarette. I didn’t really want one, but old habits told me I needed one. Need? At what point had I become addicted to cigarettes? It’s not very pleasant smoking in the morning on an empty stomach. I used to be a social smoker. It had been fashionable, a symbol of freedom and style. But the party ends and the grey, drizzle of everyday life sets in, bringing with it problems in patches like slimy puddles. You smoke each problem away several times as if saying to yourself: “I’ll just have this quick smoke, catch my breath and then launch myself back into the dreaded routine.”

濃煙刺得我的雙眼發痛，我便像個委屈的小孩般，用手捂住眼睛許久。我對一切都感到無比厭倦。彷彿能讀懂我的心思，一根樺樹枝倔強地彎下，狠狠抽打在我的額頭上。該死！憤怒之下，我把那枝條折斷並隨手丟到一旁。可那枝條卻勾住了樹枝，左右彈跳、上下顫動，宛如盒中彈跳的玩具，挖苦著我無法改變世界任何一面。心情沉重，我只得繼續前行。

The smoke got in my eyes making them sting, so I placed my hands over them for a minute like an upset child. I was so fed up of everything. As if reading my thoughts, a birch branch bent spitefully and hit me hard on the forehead. Bastard! In my outrage I broke the branch in half and threw it to one side. The branch got caught in a tree and bounced from side to side and sprang up and down like a jack in a box as if mocking my inability to change any aspect of my world. Feeling very low I pushed on.

每當我試圖與世界抗爭，它起初總會退讓，讓我對勝利產生虛假的希望，卻隨後狠狠回擊。電影中英雄總是義無反顧地迎向目標，拋開一切阻礙；而現實卻像是一盤輪盤賭，有時你僥倖中獎一次、兩次甚至三次，你便幻想自己站在世界之巔，然而最終總是輸得比原本更多。你不過是一隻被養肥後準備宰割的火雞，伴隨著歡快的音樂和笑聲，最終淪為眾口鑠金。你只是在自欺欺人，今天並非你的好運日──你犯了一個錯誤……

Every time I tried to battle with the world it would at first yield, giving me false hope, only then to come back at me with a hard slap. It’s only in films that the hero sets off towards his goal casting aside anything and everything that stands in the way. In reality, things are a bit different. Life is like a game of roulette. You win once, twice, even three times. You imagine yourself the prize- winner with the world at your feet but always end up with less than you started. You are just the turkey fattened up to be roasted and devoured to the sounds of happy music and laughter. You were fooling yourself. It’s not your lucky day. You made a mistake…

沉浸在黯淡的思緒中，我來到了海灘。尖銳的海浪猛烈拍打著沙灘，冰冷潮濕的海風刺骨撲面。肥大的海鷗懶散地遊走在岸邊，悠閒地啄食著腐敗的垃圾，那雙眼中透露出冰冷而空洞的神情，仿佛映射出這世界的冷漠與敵意。

Wallowing in dark thoughts I arrived at the beach. Sharp waves were biting viciously at the sandy shore. The cold, damp sea breeze blew at me bitterly. Fat sea gulls wandered the shoreline, lazily pecking at rotten waste. Their eyes carried a cold, black empty look as if reflecting the cold and antagonism of the world around me.

一個流浪漢正在海灘上撿拾空瓶，我真希望他能就此消失。我只想獨處，可他卻朝我走來，看似在尋找什麼可撿之物。我只好決定回家。究竟哪裡還有一絲寧靜？我已經累極了，漸漸發現這種疲憊感哪怕在放鬆時也無法消散。某個時刻，我彷彿開始消磨光陰，就像在服無期徒刑，一直等待著生活有所改變，期待迎來一個全新階段，在那時我能變得與眾不同，真正享受生活；可是那未來永遠遙不可及。與此同時，依舊是一成不變的沉悶生活。我固守著那遙遠的希望，卻發現美好未來依然如夢似幻。我回到家裡，循例吃著枯燥的早餐，隨後又踏進那既無趣又乏味的工作崗位，逼迫自己產出生產他人看重而我卻毫無意義的成果──又是一天平凡而無聊的生活。

A tramp was collecting empty bottles on the beach. I wished he would disappear. I wanted to be alone but he was walking towards me, probably wanting to scrounge something. I decided to go home. Was there no peace anywhere? I was so tired. I realised that the feeling of tiredness never left me, even when I was relaxing. At some point I had started killing time as if sitting out a prison sentence. I was always waiting for things to change, for a new stage in my life to begin where I would be different and able to enjoy life, but that stage was always somewhere in the future. In the meantime it was the same old drudgery. I kept waiting but the better future remained as elusive as ever. I would return home and do the same thing I always did; eat a boring breakfast and then leave for my dull job, forcing myself to produce results which mattered to someone else but not to me. It would be just another day of the same tiresome, meaningless life.

一陣晨星的細語悄然喚醒了我，這真是一場令人心碎的夢，彷彿把我帶回到往昔某段時光。幸好只是一場夢，我才得以鬆了口氣，伸個懶腰，就像我的貓咪一樣。看，那傢伙正慵懶地躺著，只有牠微動的耳朵透露出牠察覺了我的存在。快起來吧，你這長鬍子的毛孩子，跟我一起去散步如何？我早已期盼著一個晴朗的日子，於是踏上了前往大海的路途。

I was woken by the rustle of the morning stars. What a sad dream. It was as if I had returned to a period in my past. Thank goodness it was only a dream. I stretched with relief just like my cat does. There he was lying lazily sprawled out–only his ears giving any sign that he was aware of my presence. Get up you whiskered thing. Are you coming with me for a walk? I had placed an order for a sunny day and so set off towards the sea.

小徑穿過森林，晨星的細語逐漸淹沒在鳥兒那多聲部的合唱中。灌木叢中竟傳來急促的呼喊：「食物！食物！」原來是一隻小家夥在叫喚。怎麼可能這麼柔軟的一團毛球會吵得如此刺耳？那一刻，我突然意識到，儘管每隻鳥的歌聲各有不同，但整個合唱總是和諧無比，奏出如詩如畫的旋律，遠勝過任何精緻樂團的表現。

The path led through the forest and the rustle of the morning stars gradually faded, giving way to the multi-voiced choir of the bird nation. Someone in the bushes was trying especially hard “Food! Food!” There he was the little wretch. However can such a little ball of fluff squawk so loudly? Only now did it occur to me that although every bird had a different voice, none were ever out of tune with the rest of the choir. They always managed to produce such a graceful symphony; no orchestra, however sophisticated could be favourably compared.

陽光穿梭於樹與樹之間，投下了迷人的逆光，突顯出森林中層次分明與豐富的色彩，整個景致就像一幅奇蹟般的全息圖。小徑堅定地引領我走向大海，翠綠的海浪與溫暖的海風低語相應。眼前的海岸廣闊而空寂，然而我卻感到無比安逸與平靜，彷彿這個過度擁擠的世界特意為我留下一處隱秘之地。有人認為世界只是一場心靈創造的幻覺，但我難以自豪到相信這一切美景都是源於我個人的意識。

The sun stretched its rays between the trees, creating a magical backlighting that highlighted the voluminous depth and richness of the colours of the forest and transforming it into one miraculous hologram. The path led me diligently towards the sea. The emerald waves exchanged whisperings with the warm sea breeze. The shore seemed endless and empty but I felt comfortable and at peace as if the overpopulated world had created a secluded corner just for me. Some people believe the world is an illusion created by the mind but I could not imagine having such a high opinion of myself that I could think all this beauty was the product of my own consciousness.

那壓抑夢境的餘韻尚未散去，我便開始懷念起過去那同樣平淡、陰沉的生活。像許多人一樣，我曾一度要求世界將我認為應得的一切獻給我，但世界卻對我冷漠以對。比我更有智慧和閱歷的人曾告誡我：不要輕言放棄，因為世界也不會輕易讓步，「你必須爭取你想要的。」於是，我便開始與世界對抗，結果只換來精疲力竭。我的那些忠告者也不忘提醒：「問題出在你自己，先改變自己，再去要求生活。」於是，我與自我展開了更艱難的搏鬥。

Still feeling the effect of my oppressive dream I began to reminisce about my former life, which had actually been as dull and gloomy as my dream. Like a lot of people, I had often demanded that the world give me all I felt it owed me but in response it had turned its back on me in indifference. I was advised by others wiser and more experienced than myself not to give up because the world doesn’t give up that easily either. “You have to fight for what you want”. So I tried battling with the world but I didn’t get anywhere and ended up exhausted. My advisers had a ready answer for this too. “You are the problem. Change yourself before you start demanding things of life”. So, I battled with myself but this turned out to be even harder than battling with the world.

某天，我夢見自己身處於一處自然保護區。夢中的景色美得難以言喻，我在保護區漫步，驚嘆於眼前的一切時，忽然遇到了一位神色憤怒、滿臉灰白長鬚的老人，他正是那保護區的守護者 (Guardian's Riddle)。他默默注視著我，我走近欲言又止，剛張口，他便打斷了我。老者用冰冷的口吻告訴我，他不想聽一個字；他早已厭倦那些喧鬧而反覆無常、永不滿足且總在離去後留下滿地垃圾的訪客。我默然點頭，隨後繼續前行。

Then one day, I dreamed that I was in a nature reserve. In the dream I was surrounded by indescribable beauty. I was walking through the reserve and admiring the full wonder of it all when I came across an angry old man with a grey beard who, as far as I could make out, was the Guardian of the Reserve. He watched me in silence. I walked up to him but as soon as I opened my mouth to speak he cut across me. In a cold tone he said that he didn’t want to hear a word; he was tired of noisy and capricious visitors who were constantly displeased, always making demands and left mountains of rubbish after themselves. I nodded in sympathy and walked on.

保護區那獨特的美景令我目瞪口呆，心中不禁想：為何我以前從未來過這裡？沉醉於這如詩如畫的景致中，我繼續漫步，任由四周的壯麗景色洗滌心靈，卻發現任何言辭都不足以形容其完美無瑕，腦海中只剩下震驚與讚嘆的空白。

I was amazed by the unique beauty of the reserve and wondered why I hadn’t visited it before. Enchanted, I continued to wander around taking in the magnificence on all sides. No words could fully describe the perfection of the landscape. My mind went blank in stunned admiration.

不久，守護者再次現身於我前。那原本嚴峻的面容此時變得柔和，他招手示意我跟隨。我們一起攀上一座翠綠的小山，從山頂俯瞰，眼前展開了一幅如畫的山谷風景。我隱約見到一個村落，裡面的小屋宛如玩具般，由植物與鮮花點綴，彷彿童話書中的插圖。若眼前這景致能真實呈現，我大概能欣賞許久。然而，我心中不免懷疑，這般夢幻美景究竟是否僅屬於夢境，而非現實。懷著疑問，我望向守護者，他卻只是低頭傲笑，彷彿在說：「精彩，才剛剛開始呢！」

Soon the Guardian appeared before me again. The austere look on his face had softened and he beckoned for me to follow. We climbed to the top of a green hill and from there the spectacular view of a picturesque valley opened before us. I could make out some kind of village with toy houses decorated with plants and flowers like an illustration in a book of fairy-tales. Had the scene before me appeared more real I could have stood regarding it with delight for some time. As it was, I started to suspect that such fabulous beauty was the stuff of dreams and not real life. I turned to the Guardian with a questioning look but he just sneered into his beard as if to say: “We’re only just getting started!”

當我們沿著山谷下行時，我突然發現竟記不起自己是如何抵達這保護區的。我原本希望老者能給我一個解釋，卻不慎出口笨拙地說了句：「能住在這麼美的地方一定感覺棒極了吧？」聞言，守護者不悅地回道：「究竟有誰在阻止你加入他們呢？」

As we descended into the valley below it began to dawn on me that I could not remember how I had arrived at the reserve. I was hoping the old man could give me an explanation. Then I must have made some clumsy remark about how it must feel pretty damn good to be one of the lucky ones who could afford to live in such a beautiful place, to which, openly displaying his irritation, the Guardian replied: “Who is stopping you from joining them?”

我開始理論起來，說明並非人人生來富有，命運也並非我們能隨意選擇 (Choice)。守護者對此熟視無睹，只冷冷地說：「正因如此，每個人都有權自由選擇 (Choice)自己想要的命運。真正屬於我們的唯一自由，就是那選擇 (Choice)的自由──你可以選擇任何你想要的。」

I started to go on about how not everyone was born rich and we don’t choose our fate. The Guardian ignored my words and said: “That’s the point. Everyone is free to choose any destiny they wish. The only freedom we truly have is the freedom of choice. You can choose anything you want.”

他的言論與我的人生哲學完全不符，我本想與他爭辯，可守護者 (Guardian's Riddle)根本不願聽我說話，他喝斥道：「笨蛋！」並說：「你擁有選擇 (Choice)的權利，但你從未真正行使它，你連‘選擇 (Choice)’究竟意味著什麼都不懂。」我心想，這真荒謬——他所謂的「我可以選擇 (Choice)任何我想要的」究竟意味著什麼？誰不會以為只需心念間便可召喚出自己想要的一切呢？就在那一刻，我猛然驚覺自己在做夢，整個情況弄得我措手不及，不知如何應對。

His statement did not at all fit with my philosophy of life and I made to argue with him, but the Guardian would not listen: “Fool!” he said. “You have the right to choose, but you don’t exercise it. You do not even understand what ‘to choose’ really means.” This is ridiculous, I thought. What does he mean by, “I can choose whatever I want”? Anyone would think that you could just conjure up anything you wanted. At that moment I suddenly realised that I was dreaming. The situation threw me and I did not know how to behave.

依我記憶，我曾打趣地暗示那老人，無論清醒或夢中，他都可以選擇 (Choice)胡扯，但這正是他自由的極限。我的話似乎絲毫沒有打擾到守護者 (Guardian's Riddle)；相反，他發出了笑聲。心知這情境荒唐至極（與自己夢境中的人物爭論究竟有何意義？），我開始考慮是否該令自己醒來。彷彿能窺透我心思般，那老人說道：「夠了，時間不多。我本沒想到他們會派來像你這樣的蠢材，但我必須繼續我的使命。」

As far as I can recollect I hinted to the old man that he could chose to speak rubbish whether in a dream or in waking but there ended the extent of his freedom. My comment did not seem to bother the Guardian at all; in fact he laughed in response. Aware of how ridiculous the situation was (what was the point of getting into a debate with a figure from my own dream?) I was considering whether it would be better to wake myself up. As if reading my mind the old man said: “That’s enough. We don’t have much time. I hadn’t expected them to send me a moron like you, but I must carry on with my mission nonetheless.”

我正想問他所謂的「使命」到底是什麼，又問那「他們」究竟是誰，他卻對我充耳不聞，反而拋給我一個看似荒唐的謎語：「人人都有選擇 (Choice)任何事物的自由；但謎底是：你怎麼才能獲得那自由？當你正確猜出答案時，你的蘋果就會從天而降。」

I was going to ask him what his ‘mission’ was, and who ‘they’ were but he ignored me, instead giving me a riddle, which at the time seemed quite absurd: “Everyone can have the freedom to choose whatever they want; but here’s a riddle for you: how do you acquire that freedom? When you guess the answer correctly your apples will fall to the sky.”

「什麼蘋果？」我漸漸失去耐心，說明我根本無意解答謎語，畢竟奇蹟只存在於夢境和童話中，而現實中，蘋果通常只會掉到地上。他回應說：「夠了！走吧，我有件事必須帶你去看。」

What apples? I was beginning to loose patience and said that I had no intention of solving any riddles. Miracles only happened in dreams and fairy-tales. In reality, apples generally fall to the ground, to which he replied: “That’s enough! Let’s go. There is something I must show you.”

遺憾的是，醒來後我竟完全記不起夢的結局。但我清晰感受到，雖然無法有意識地表達，守護者 (Guardian's Riddle)確實向我傳遞了一絲信息——只滲入我腦海的一個詞：Transurfing。我腦中閃現的念頭是：原來我無需親手構築整個世界；所有本該屬於我的東西早已在不知不覺中為我的福祉而創造。與其與世界爭奪一席之地，倒不如乾脆選擇 (Choice)自己想要的生活，誰也無權阻止我這樣做。

Regrettably, when I woke up I could not remember the end of the dream. However, I did have the distinct feeling that although I was unable to express it consciously, the Guardian had imparted some kind of information to me. Just one word seeped through into my mind but I had no idea what it meant: Transurfing. The thought I found going round my mind was that I did not have to totally furnish my world myself; that everything that was to be mine had been created long ago without my participation but for my own well-being. There was absolutely no point in battling with the world for a place under the sun, and no- one was stopping me from simply choosing the life I wanted to have.

起初，這念頭荒謬至極，若非令我驚奇的是，不久後我竟對守護者 (Guardian's Riddle)所指的「選擇 (Choice)」含義以及如何真正做出選擇 (Choice)有了極為清晰的回憶，否則我早已將其拋諸腦後。那謎語的答案不知何時自然而然在我腦中浮現，就像知識往往無預警降臨一般。每天我都學到新知識，每次都驚訝不已，有時甚至近乎恐懼。我無法以理性解釋這知識如何降臨，但我確定一件事：這絕非我憑空編造。

At first the idea seemed absurd. I would probably have forgotten all about it if I had not to my amazement soon afterwards started having very clear recollections of what the Guardian meant by the word ‘choose’, and how to actually make a choice. The answer to the Guardian’s riddle came to me of its own accord; as knowledge does sometimes seem to come from nowhere. Every day I learned something new and each time I felt huge surprise, sometimes bordering on fear. I can give no rational explanation of how this knowledge came to me but of one thing I am certain. I could never have made it up myself.

自從我發現了 Transurfing（更準確地說，是因為它被賦予我去發現）後，我的人生充滿了快樂和意義。任何從事過創作工作的人都知道，親手創造出某物所帶來的幸福與滿足。試想，親自創造自己的命運是怎樣的感受！即使「創造自己的命運」這詞語在通常意義上的詮釋，也難以形容我此刻的心境。Transurfing 能讓你自由選擇 (Choice)屬於自己的命運，就像在超市裡選購商品般自然而然。我希望與你分享這一切，讓你明白為何「蘋果會從天而降」、為何「晨星發出細語」，以及其他許多奇特現象的成因。

Ever since I discovered Transurfing (or rather, since I was given it to discover) my life has been filled with joyful meaning. Anyone who has ever been involved in some kind of creative work will know the happiness and fulfilment that comes with creating something with your own hands. Imagine then the feeling of creating your own destiny. Even the expression ‘to create your own destiny’ as it is interpreted in its usual sense, fails to describe what I mean here. Transurfing is a method that frees you to choose your own destiny, literally like you would choose something in a supermarket. I want to share this with you so that you can understand why ‘apples fall to the sky’, why the ‘morning stars rustle’, and many other curious things.

晨星的沙沙聲

The Rustle of the Morning Stars

我被鄰居的狗叫聲吵醒。那隻討厭的動物總是把我吵醒。我真討厭它！為什麼我必須被別人的寵物吵醒？我決定出去走走，冷靜下來，分散自己想放火燒鄰居房子的強烈慾望。他們說狗像主人。這隻狗就是。我的生活中總是有些白痴試圖讓我沮喪。感到壓力，我開始穿衣服。我的拖鞋又不見了。你在哪裡，你這些狡猾的小傢伙？當我找到你們時，我會把你們扔掉！

I was woken by the neighbour’s dog barking. The nasty animal was always waking me up. How I hated it! Why should I have to be woken up by the noise of someone else’s pet? I decided to go out for a walk, calm down and distract myself from the intense desire to set fire to my neighbour’s house. They say dogs are like their owners. This one was. There always seemed to be some idiot in my life trying to get me down. Feeling stressed I started to get dressed. My slippers had disappeared again. Where are you, you sneaky little buggers? When I find you I will chuck you out!

外面霧濛濛的，潮濕。我沿著滑溜的小路走過陰鬱的森林。幾乎所有的葉子都掉了下來，露出半死樹木的灰色樹幹。為什麼我住在這個令人沮喪的沼澤中？我伸手去拿香煙。我其實不想抽，但舊習告訴我我需要一根。需要？我什麼時候開始對香煙上癮的？早上空腹抽煙並不愉快。我曾經是一個社交吸煙者。這曾經是時尚，是自由和風格的象徵。但派對結束了，日常生活的灰色細雨開始下起，帶來了像黏糊糊的水坑一樣的問題。你一遍又一遍地抽掉每個問題，就像對自己說：“我就抽這根煙，喘口氣，然後再投入到可怕的日常中。”

It was foggy and damp outside. I walked along the slippery path through the gloomy forest. Almost all the leaves had fallen, exposing the grey trunks of half- dead trees. Why do I live in the middle of this depressing bog? I reached for a cigarette. I didn’t really want one, but old habits told me I needed one. Need? At what point had I become addicted to cigarettes? It’s not very pleasant smoking in the morning on an empty stomach. I used to be a social smoker. It had been fashionable, a symbol of freedom and style. But the party ends and the grey, drizzle of everyday life sets in, bringing with it problems in patches like slimy puddles. You smoke each problem away several times as if saying to yourself: “I’ll just have this quick smoke, catch my breath and then launch myself back into the dreaded routine.”

煙霧進入我的眼睛，使它們刺痛，所以我像一個不高興的孩子一樣用手捂住它們。我對一切都感到厭倦。好像讀懂了我的想法，一根樺樹枝惡意地彎下來，狠狠地打在我的額頭上。混蛋！我憤怒地折斷了樹枝，把它扔到一邊。樹枝被卡在一棵樹上，像玩偶一樣上下彈跳，似乎在嘲笑我無法改變世界的任何方面。感到非常低落，我繼續前行。

The smoke got in my eyes making them sting, so I placed my hands over them for a minute like an upset child. I was so fed up of everything. As if reading my thoughts, a birch branch bent spitefully and hit me hard on the forehead. Bastard! In my outrage I broke the branch in half and threw it to one side. The branch got caught in a tree and bounced from side to side and sprang up and down like a jack in a box as if mocking my inability to change any aspect of my world. Feeling very low I pushed on.

每次我試圖與世界抗爭，世界最初會屈服，給我虛假的希望，然後又會狠狠地回擊我。只有在電影中，英雄才會不顧一切地朝著目標前進。在現實中，情況有些不同。生活就像一場輪盤賭。你贏了一次，兩次，甚至三次。你想像自己是獎品獲得者，世界在你腳下，但總是以比開始時更少的東西結束。你只是被養肥的火雞，準備在快樂的音樂和笑聲中被烤熟和吃掉。你在自欺欺人。這不是你的幸運日。你犯了錯……

Every time I tried to battle with the world it would at first yield, giving me false hope, only then to come back at me with a hard slap. It’s only in films that the hero sets off towards his goal casting aside anything and everything that stands in the way. In reality, things are a bit different. Life is like a game of roulette. You win once, twice, even three times. You imagine yourself the prize- winner with the world at your feet but always end up with less than you started. You are just the turkey fattened up to be roasted and devoured to the sounds of happy music and laughter. You were fooling yourself. It’s not your lucky day. You made a mistake…

沉浸在黑暗的思緒中，我來到了海灘。尖銳的波浪猛烈地拍打著沙灘。寒冷潮濕的海風苦澀地吹向我。肥胖的海鷗在海岸線上漫步，懶洋洋地啄著腐爛的垃圾。它們的眼睛帶著冷酷、黑暗而空洞的神情，似乎反映了我周圍世界的冷漠和敵意。

Wallowing in dark thoughts I arrived at the beach. Sharp waves were biting viciously at the sandy shore. The cold, damp sea breeze blew at me bitterly. Fat sea gulls wandered the shoreline, lazily pecking at rotten waste. Their eyes carried a cold, black empty look as if reflecting the cold and antagonism of the world around me.

一個流浪漢在海灘上收集空瓶。我希望他消失。我想要獨處，但他正朝我走來，可能想要討點什麼。我決定回家。難道哪裡都沒有安寧嗎？我太累了。我意識到，即使在放鬆時，疲倦的感覺也從未離開過我。在某個時候，我開始像坐牢一樣消磨時間。我總是等待事情的改變，等待我生活的新階段開始，那時我會不同，能夠享受生活，但那個階段總是在未來的某個地方。與此同時，還是同樣的單調乏味。我一直在等待，但更好的未來依然遙不可及。我會回家，做我總是做的事情；吃一頓無聊的早餐，然後去我那枯燥的工作，強迫自己產出對別人有意義但對我無意義的成果。這將是另一個同樣乏味、毫無意義的日子。

A tramp was collecting empty bottles on the beach. I wished he would disappear. I wanted to be alone but he was walking towards me, probably wanting to scrounge something. I decided to go home. Was there no peace anywhere? I was so tired. I realised that the feeling of tiredness never left me, even when I was relaxing. At some point I had started killing time as if sitting out a prison sentence. I was always waiting for things to change, for a new stage in my life to begin where I would be different and able to enjoy life, but that stage was always somewhere in the future. In the meantime it was the same old drudgery. I kept waiting but the better future remained as elusive as ever. I would return home and do the same thing I always did; eat a boring breakfast and then leave for my dull job, forcing myself to produce results which mattered to someone else but not to me. It would be just another day of the same tiresome, meaningless life.

我被晨星的沙沙聲吵醒。多麼悲傷的夢。就像我回到了過去的一段時光。謝天謝地，這只是一場夢。我像我的貓一樣舒展著身體，感到如釋重負。他懶洋洋地躺著，只有耳朵顯示出他注意到了我的存在。起來吧，你這鬍鬚的小傢伙。你要和我一起去散步嗎？我已經訂了一個晴天，所以朝著海邊出發。

I was woken by the rustle of the morning stars. What a sad dream. It was as if I had returned to a period in my past. Thank goodness it was only a dream. I stretched with relief just like my cat does. There he was lying lazily sprawled out–only his ears giving any sign that he was aware of my presence. Get up you whiskered thing. Are you coming with me for a walk? I had placed an order for a sunny day and so set off towards the sea.

小路穿過森林，晨星的沙沙聲逐漸消退，取而代之的是鳥類國度的多聲合唱。灌木叢中有人特別努力地喊著“食物！食物！”那就是他，那個小傢伙。這麼小的一團絨毛怎麼能叫得這麼響？直到現在我才意識到，儘管每隻鳥都有不同的聲音，但它們從未與合唱的其他部分不協調。它們總是能夠創造出如此優雅的交響樂；沒有任何樂團，無論多麼複雜，都能與之相比。

The path led through the forest and the rustle of the morning stars gradually faded, giving way to the multi-voiced choir of the bird nation. Someone in the bushes was trying especially hard “Food! Food!” There he was the little wretch. However can such a little ball of fluff squawk so loudly? Only now did it occur to me that although every bird had a different voice, none were ever out of tune with the rest of the choir. They always managed to produce such a graceful symphony; no orchestra, however sophisticated could be favourably compared.

太陽的光線穿過樹木，創造出一種神奇的背光，突顯出森林色彩的豐富深度，將其轉化為一個奇妙的全息圖。小路勤勉地引領我走向大海。翡翠般的波浪與溫暖的海風交談。海岸似乎無盡而空曠，但我感到舒適和平靜，彷彿這個過度擁擠的世界為我創造了一個僻靜的角落。有些人相信世界是由心靈創造的幻覺，但我無法想像自己會有如此高的自我評價，認為這一切美景是我自己意識的產物。

The sun stretched its rays between the trees, creating a magical backlighting that highlighted the voluminous depth and richness of the colours of the forest and transforming it into one miraculous hologram. The path led me diligently towards the sea. The emerald waves exchanged whisperings with the warm sea breeze. The shore seemed endless and empty but I felt comfortable and at peace as if the overpopulated world had created a secluded corner just for me. Some people believe the world is an illusion created by the mind but I could not imagine having such a high opinion of myself that I could think all this beauty was the product of my own consciousness.

仍然感受到壓抑夢境的影響，我開始回憶我的前半生，實際上和我的夢一樣單調和陰鬱。像許多人一樣，我經常要求世界給我我認為應得的一切，但世界卻以冷漠的態度背對著我。那些比我更有智慧和經驗的人建議我不要放棄，因為世界也不會輕易放棄。“你必須為你想要的東西而奮鬥”。所以我試著與世界抗爭，但我沒有得到任何結果，最終筋疲力盡。我的顧問們對此也有現成的答案。“問題在於你。在你開始向生活要求東西之前，先改變自己”。於是，我開始與自己鬥爭，但這比與世界鬥爭更難。

Still feeling the effect of my oppressive dream I began to reminisce about my former life, which had actually been as dull and gloomy as my dream. Like a lot of people, I had often demanded that the world give me all I felt it owed me but in response it had turned its back on me in indifference. I was advised by others wiser and more experienced than myself not to give up because the world doesn’t give up that easily either. “You have to fight for what you want”. So I tried battling with the world but I didn’t get anywhere and ended up exhausted. My advisers had a ready answer for this too. “You are the problem. Change yourself before you start demanding things of life”. So, I battled with myself but this turned out to be even harder than battling with the world.

然後有一天，我夢見自己在一個自然保護區。在夢中，我被無法形容的美景包圍著。我走過保護區，欣賞著這一切的奇妙，然後遇到了一位留著灰色鬍鬚的憤怒老人，他似乎是保護區的"守護者"(Guardian)。他默默地注視著我。我走向他，但一開口，他就打斷了我。他用冷冷的語氣說他不想聽一個字；他厭倦了那些吵鬧而任性的遊客，他們總是不滿意，總是提出要求，並留下大量垃圾。我同情地點了點頭，繼續走下去。

Then one day, I dreamed that I was in a nature reserve. In the dream I was surrounded by indescribable beauty. I was walking through the reserve and admiring the full wonder of it all when I came across an angry old man with a grey beard who, as far as I could make out, was the Guardian of the Reserve. He watched me in silence. I walked up to him but as soon as I opened my mouth to speak he cut across me. In a cold tone he said that he didn’t want to hear a word; he was tired of noisy and capricious visitors who were constantly displeased, always making demands and left mountains of rubbish after themselves. I nodded in sympathy and walked on.

我對保護區的獨特美景感到驚訝，想知道為什麼我以前沒有來過這裡。著迷地，我繼續四處漫遊，欣賞四周的壯麗。沒有言語能夠完全描述這片風景的完美。我的思緒在震驚的讚嘆中變得空白。

I was amazed by the unique beauty of the reserve and wondered why I hadn’t visited it before. Enchanted, I continued to wander around taking in the magnificence on all sides. No words could fully describe the perfection of the landscape. My mind went blank in stunned admiration.

不久後，"守護者"(Guardian)再次出現在我面前。他臉上的嚴肅表情變得柔和，並示意我跟隨。我們爬上一座綠色的山丘，從那裡可以看到一個如畫的山谷的壯麗景色。我可以看到一個村莊，裡面有裝飾著植物和花卉的玩具房子，就像童話書中的插圖。眼前的景象如果更真實，我可以站著欣賞一段時間。然而，我開始懷疑這樣的美景是夢中的東西，而不是現實生活。我轉向"守護者"(Guardian)，帶著疑問的眼神，但他只是對著鬍鬚冷笑，似乎在說：“我們才剛剛開始！”

Soon the Guardian appeared before me again. The austere look on his face had softened and he beckoned for me to follow. We climbed to the top of a green hill and from there the spectacular view of a picturesque valley opened before us. I could make out some kind of village with toy houses decorated with plants and flowers like an illustration in a book of fairy-tales. Had the scene before me appeared more real I could have stood regarding it with delight for some time. As it was, I started to suspect that such fabulous beauty was the stuff of dreams and not real life. I turned to the Guardian with a questioning look but he just sneered into his beard as if to say: “We’re only just getting started!”

當我們走下山谷時，我開始意識到我不記得自己是如何來到這個保護區的。我希望那位老人能給我一個解釋。然後我可能笨拙地說了一句關於能夠住在這麼美麗的地方一定感覺很好，對此，"守護者"(Guardian)顯然顯示出不耐煩，回答道：“誰阻止你加入他們？”

As we descended into the valley below it began to dawn on me that I could not remember how I had arrived at the reserve. I was hoping the old man could give me an explanation. Then I must have made some clumsy remark about how it must feel pretty damn good to be one of the lucky ones who could afford to live in such a beautiful place, to which, openly displaying his irritation, the Guardian replied: “Who is stopping you from joining them?”

我開始談論並不是每個人都生來富有，我們無法選擇自己的命運。"守護者"(Guardian)忽略了我的話，說道：“這就是重點。每個人都可以自由選擇他們想要的命運。我們唯一真正擁有的自由就是"選擇"(Choice)的自由。你可以選擇任何你想要的東西。”

I started to go on about how not everyone was born rich and we don’t choose our fate. The Guardian ignored my words and said: “That’s the point. Everyone is free to choose any destiny they wish. The only freedom we truly have is the freedom of choice. You can choose anything you want.”

他的說法與我的生活哲學完全不符，我想與他爭辯，但"守護者"(Guardian)不聽：“傻瓜！”他說。“你有權選擇，但你沒有行使它。你甚至不明白‘選擇’真正的意思。”這太荒謬了，我想。他所說的“我可以選擇任何我想要的”是什麼意思？任何人都會認為你可以隨心所欲地變出任何東西。就在那時，我突然意識到我在做夢。這種情況讓我不知所措，我不知道該如何行動。

His statement did not at all fit with my philosophy of life and I made to argue with him, but the Guardian would not listen: “Fool!” he said. “You have the right to choose, but you don’t exercise it. You do not even understand what ‘to choose’ really means.” This is ridiculous, I thought. What does he mean by, “I can choose whatever I want”? Anyone would think that you could just conjure up anything you wanted. At that moment I suddenly realised that I was dreaming. The situation threw me and I did not know how to behave.

據我記得，我暗示老人無論是在夢中還是清醒時都可以選擇說廢話，但這就是他的自由的範圍。我的評論似乎完全沒有困擾到"守護者"(Guardian)；事實上，他笑了。意識到情況的荒謬（在自己的夢中與一個人物爭論有什麼意義？），我正在考慮是否更好地喚醒自己。好像讀懂了我的心思，老人說：“夠了。我們沒有多少時間。我沒想到他們會派一個像你這樣的笨蛋給我，但我仍然必須繼續我的使命。”

As far as I can recollect I hinted to the old man that he could chose to speak rubbish whether in a dream or in waking but there ended the extent of his freedom. My comment did not seem to bother the Guardian at all; in fact he laughed in response. Aware of how ridiculous the situation was (what was the point of getting into a debate with a figure from my own dream?) I was considering whether it would be better to wake myself up. As if reading my mind the old man said: “That’s enough. We don’t have much time. I hadn’t expected them to send me a moron like you, but I must carry on with my mission nonetheless.”

我正要問他他的“使命”是什麼，以及“他們”是誰，但他忽略了我，反而給了我一個謎語，當時看起來相當荒謬：“每個人都可以自由選擇他們想要的任何東西；但這裡有一個謎語給你：你如何獲得那種自由？當你正確猜出答案時，你的蘋果將會掉到天空。”

I was going to ask him what his ‘mission’ was, and who ‘they’ were but he ignored me, instead giving me a riddle, which at the time seemed quite absurd: “Everyone can have the freedom to choose whatever they want; but here’s a riddle for you: how do you acquire that freedom? When you guess the answer correctly your apples will fall to the sky.”

什麼蘋果？我開始失去耐心，說我無意解決任何謎語。奇蹟只會在夢中和童話中發生。在現實中，蘋果通常會掉到地上，對此他回答：“夠了！走吧。我必須給你看一些東西。”

What apples? I was beginning to loose patience and said that I had no intention of solving any riddles. Miracles only happened in dreams and fairy-tales. In reality, apples generally fall to the ground, to which he replied: “That’s enough! Let’s go. There is something I must show you.”

遺憾的是，當我醒來時，我無法記得夢的結尾。然而，我確實有一種明確的感覺，儘管我無法有意識地表達出來，"守護者"(Guardian)向我傳達了一些信息。只有一個詞滲入了我的腦海，但我不知道它的意思：Transurfing。我腦海中反覆出現的想法是，我不必完全自己裝飾我的世界；所有屬於我的東西早已被創造，無需我的參與，但為了我自己的福祉。與世界爭奪陽光下的位置毫無意義，沒有人阻止我簡單地選擇我想要的生活。

Regrettably, when I woke up I could not remember the end of the dream. However, I did have the distinct feeling that although I was unable to express it consciously, the Guardian had imparted some kind of information to me. Just one word seeped through into my mind but I had no idea what it meant: Transurfing. The thought I found going round my mind was that I did not have to totally furnish my world myself; that everything that was to be mine had been created long ago without my participation but for my own well-being. There was absolutely no point in battling with the world for a place under the sun, and no- one was stopping me from simply choosing the life I wanted to have.

起初這個想法似乎很荒謬。如果不是因為我驚訝地很快開始非常清楚地回憶起"守護者"(Guardian)所說的“選擇”的意思，以及如何實際做出選擇，我可能早已忘記了這一切。"守護者的謎語"(Guardian's Riddle)的答案自然而然地來到我這裡；就像知識有時似乎從無處而來。每天我都學到一些新東西，每次我都感到極大的驚訝，有時甚至接近恐懼。我無法給出這些知識如何來到我這裡的理性解釋，但有一件事我可以確定。我絕不可能自己編造出來。

At first the idea seemed absurd. I would probably have forgotten all about it if I had not to my amazement soon afterwards started having very clear recollections of what the Guardian meant by the word ‘choose’, and how to actually make a choice. The answer to the Guardian’s riddle came to me of its own accord; as knowledge does sometimes seem to come from nowhere. Every day I learned something new and each time I felt huge surprise, sometimes bordering on fear. I can give no rational explanation of how this knowledge came to me but of one thing I am certain. I could never have made it up myself.

自從我發現Transurfing（或者更確切地說，自從我被賦予去發現它）以來，我的生活充滿了快樂的意義。任何曾經參與某種創作工作的人都會知道用自己的雙手創造某物所帶來的幸福和滿足。那麼想像一下創造自己命運的感覺。即使“創造自己的命運”這個表達在通常意義上被解釋，也無法描述我在這裡的意思。Transurfing是一種方法，讓你自由選擇自己的命運，字面上就像你在超市選擇東西一樣。我想與你分享這一點，以便你能理解為什麼“蘋果會掉到天空”，為什麼“晨星會沙沙作響”，以及許多其他奇妙的事情。

Ever since I discovered Transurfing (or rather, since I was given it to discover) my life has been filled with joyful meaning. Anyone who has ever been involved in some kind of creative work will know the happiness and fulfilment that comes with creating something with your own hands. Imagine then the feeling of creating your own destiny. Even the expression ‘to create your own destiny’ as it is interpreted in its usual sense, fails to describe what I mean here. Transurfing is a method that frees you to choose your own destiny, literally like you would choose something in a supermarket. I want to share this with you so that you can understand why ‘apples fall to the sky’, why the ‘morning stars rustle’, and many other curious things.

晨星的沙沙聲

The Rustle of the Morning Stars

我被鄰居的狗吠聲吵醒。那隻討厭的動物總是吵醒我。我真討厭它！為什麼我要被別人的寵物吵醒？我決定出去散步，冷靜下來，分散對燒掉鄰居房子的強烈慾望。他們說狗像它們的主人，這隻狗確實如此。生活中總有些討厭的人試圖讓我沮喪。我感到壓力，開始穿衣服。我的拖鞋又不見了。你們在哪裡，你們這些狡猾的小東西？等我找到你們，我要扔了你們！

I was woken by the neighbour’s dog barking. The nasty animal was always waking me up. How I hated it! Why should I have to be woken up by the noise of someone else’s pet? I decided to go out for a walk, calm down and distract myself from the intense desire to set fire to my neighbour’s house. They say dogs are like their owners. This one was. There always seemed to be some idiot in my life trying to get me down. Feeling stressed I started to get dressed. My slippers had disappeared again. Where are you, you sneaky little buggers? When I find you I will chuck you out!

外面霧氣濛濛，潮濕。我沿著陰鬱森林中的濕滑小徑走著。幾乎所有的樹葉都掉光了，露出半死不活的灰色樹幹。為什麼我住在這片令人沮喪的沼澤中？我伸手去拿香菸。我其實不太想抽，但老習慣告訴我我需要一根。需要？什麼時候我對香菸上癮了？早上空腹抽菸並不愉快。我曾經是社交場合的抽菸者，那時抽菸很時髦，是自由和風格的象徵。但派對結束後，灰色的日常生活來襲，帶來像黏滑水坑般的問題。你抽一口解決一個問題，好像在說：“我抽一口，喘口氣，然後再回到可怕的日常。”

It was foggy and damp outside. I walked along the slippery path through the gloomy forest. Almost all the leaves had fallen, exposing the grey trunks of half- dead trees. Why do I live in the middle of this depressing bog? I reached for a cigarette. I didn’t really want one, but old habits told me I needed one. Need? At what point had I become addicted to cigarettes? It’s not very pleasant smoking in the morning on an empty stomach. I used to be a social smoker. It had been fashionable, a symbol of freedom and style. But the party ends and the grey, drizzle of everyday life sets in, bringing with it problems in patches like slimy puddles. You smoke each problem away several times as if saying to yourself: “I’ll just have this quick smoke, catch my breath and then launch myself back into the dreaded routine.”

煙霧刺痛了我的眼睛，我像個沮喪的孩子一樣用手捂住眼睛。我對一切都感到厭倦。彷彿讀懂了我的心思，一根樺樹枝惡意地彎下來，重擊我的額頭。混蛋！我憤怒地折斷樹枝，扔到一邊。樹枝卡在樹上，左右搖晃，像個彈簧玩偶，彷彿在嘲笑我無法改變世界的無能。我心情低落，繼續前行。

The smoke got in my eyes making them sting, so I placed my hands over them for a minute like an upset child. I was so fed up of everything. As if reading my thoughts, a birch branch bent spitefully and hit me hard on the forehead. Bastard! In my outrage I broke the branch in half and threw it to one side. The branch got caught in a tree and bounced from side to side and sprang up and down like a jack in a box as if mocking my inability to change any aspect of my world. Feeling very low I pushed on.

每次我試圖與世界抗爭，它總是先讓步，給我虛假的希望，然後狠狠地回擊。在電影中，英雄朝著目標前進，掃除一切障礙。但現實中，事情有些不同。生活像輪盤賭，你贏了一次、兩次，甚至三次。你幻想自己是贏家，世界在你腳下，但最終你總是輸得比開始時還少。你只是被養肥的火雞，準備在歡樂的音樂和笑聲中被烤熟吞食。你自欺欺人，這不是你的幸運日。你犯了錯……

Every time I tried to battle with the world it would at first yield, giving me false hope, only then to come back at me with a hard slap. It’s only in films that the hero sets off towards his goal casting aside anything and everything that stands in the way. In reality, things are a bit different. Life is like a game of roulette. You win once, twice, even three times. You imagine yourself the prize- winner with the world at your feet but always end up with less than you started. You are just the turkey fattened up to be roasted and devoured to the sounds of happy music and laughter. You were fooling yourself. It’s not your lucky day. You made a mistake…

沉浸在黑暗的想法中，我來到海灘。尖銳的海浪兇猛地咬著沙岸。寒冷潮濕的海風冷酷地吹向我。肥胖的海鷗在岸邊徘徊，懶散地啄食腐爛的垃圾。它們的眼睛帶著冷漠的黑洞般的神情，彷彿映照出周圍世界的冷酷與敵意。

Wallowing in dark thoughts I arrived at the beach. Sharp waves were biting viciously at the sandy shore. The cold, damp sea breeze blew at me bitterly. Fat sea gulls wandered the shoreline, lazily pecking at rotten waste. Their eyes carried a cold, black empty look as if reflecting the cold and antagonism of the world around me.

一個流浪漢在海灘上收集空瓶。我希望他消失，我想獨處，但他朝我走來，可能想乞討什麼。我決定回家。哪裡都沒有安寧嗎？我好累。我意識到這種疲憊感從未離開我，即使在放鬆時也是如此。某個時候，我開始消磨時間，像是服刑一樣。我總在等待改變，等待生活中新階段的開始，那時我會變得不同，能享受生活，但那個階段總在未來。與此同時，還是同樣的乏味苦差。我一直等待，但更好的未來依然遙不可及。我回到家，做同樣的事情：吃無聊的早餐，然後去無趣的工作，逼自己產出對別人重要但對我無意義的成果。又是一個乏味而無意義的日子。

A tramp was collecting empty bottles on the beach. I wished he would disappear. I wanted to be alone but he was walking towards me, probably wanting to scrounge something. I decided to go home. Was there no peace anywhere? I was so tired. I realised that the feeling of tiredness never left me, even when I was relaxing. At some point I had started killing time as if sitting out a prison sentence. I was always waiting for things to change, for a new stage in my life to begin where I would be different and able to enjoy life, but that stage was always somewhere in the future. In the meantime it was the same old drudgery. I kept waiting but the better future remained as elusive as ever. I would return home and do the same thing I always did; eat a boring breakfast and then leave for my dull job, forcing myself to produce results which mattered to someone else but not to me. It would be just another day of the same tiresome, meaningless life.

我被晨星的沙沙聲喚醒。什麼一個悲傷的夢。彷彿我回到了過去的一段時光。感謝老天，這只是個夢。我像我的貓一樣伸展身體，鬆了一口氣。牠懶洋洋地躺在那，耳朵微微動著，顯示牠知道我在這。起來吧，你這長鬍子的傢伙。要跟我去散步嗎？我點了一個晴天，於是朝海邊走去。

I was woken by the rustle of the morning stars. What a sad dream. It was as if I had returned to a period in my past. Thank goodness it was only a dream. I stretched with relief just like my cat does. There he was lying lazily sprawled out–only his ears giving any sign that he was aware of my presence. Get up you whiskered thing. Are you coming with me for a walk? I had placed an order for a sunny day and so set off towards the sea.

小徑穿過森林，晨星的沙沙聲漸漸消退，被鳥兒的多元合唱取代。灌木叢中有人特別賣力地喊：“食物！食物！”那個小傢伙在那。如此小小的毛球怎麼能叫得那麼響？直到現在我才想到，雖然每隻鳥的聲音不同，但牠們從不走音，總能創造出優雅的交響樂，沒有一支再精緻的樂團能與之媲美。

The path led through the forest and the rustle of the morning stars gradually faded, giving way to the multi-voiced choir of the bird nation. Someone in the bushes was trying especially hard “Food! Food!” There he was the little wretch. However can such a little ball of fluff squawk so loudly? Only now did it occur to me that although every bird had a different voice, none were ever out of tune with the rest of the choir. They always managed to produce such a graceful symphony; no orchestra, however sophisticated could be favourably compared.

陽光在樹間伸展光芒，創造出神奇的逆光，凸顯森林色彩的立體深度，將其轉化為一個奇妙的立體全像圖。小徑勤奮地引領我走向海邊。翡翠色的海浪與溫暖的海風低語。海岸看似無盡而空曠，我感到舒適與平靜，彷彿這個人口過多的世界為我創造了一個隱秘角落。有些人認為世界是心智創造的幻象，但我無法想像自己如此自負，認為這一切美景是我意識的產物。

The sun stretched its rays between the trees, creating a magical backlighting that highlighted the voluminous depth and richness of the colours of the forest and transforming it into one miraculous hologram. The path led me diligently towards the sea. The emerald waves exchanged whisperings with the warm sea breeze. The shore seemed endless and empty but I felt comfortable and at peace as if the overpopulated world had created a secluded corner just for me. Some people believe the world is an illusion created by the mind but I could not imagine having such a high opinion of myself that I could think all this beauty was the product of my own consciousness.

仍受那壓抑夢境的影響，我開始回想過去的生活，實際上如夢中般單調陰鬱。像許多人一樣，我常要求世界給我應得的一切，但它卻冷漠地轉身離去。比我更有智慧和經驗的人建議我不要放棄，因為世界也不輕易放棄。“你必須為想要的東西奮鬥。”於是我試著與世界抗爭，但毫無進展，精疲力竭。建議者又有答案：“問題在你身上。改變自己，再要求生活給你更多。”於是我與自己抗爭，但這比與世界抗爭更難。

Still feeling the effect of my oppressive dream I began to reminisce about my former life, which had actually been as dull and gloomy as my dream. Like a lot of people, I had often demanded that the world give me all I felt it owed me but in response it had turned its back on me in indifference. I was advised by others wiser and more experienced than myself not to give up because the world doesn’t give up that easily either. “You have to fight for what you want”. So I tried battling with the world but I didn’t get anywhere and ended up exhausted. My advisers had a ready answer for this too. “You are the problem. Change yourself before you start demanding things of life”. So, I battled with myself but this turned out to be even harder than battling with the world.

然後有一天，我夢見自己在一座自然保護區。夢中我被無以言喻的美景包圍。我在保護區中漫步，讚嘆四周的奇觀，遇見一個滿臉怒容、鬍子灰白的老人，我猜他是保護區的守護者。他沉默地看著我。我走上前想說話，但他冷冷地打斷我，說他不想聽任何話，他厭倦了吵鬧又挑剔的訪客，總是不滿、要求多，還留下成堆垃圾。我同情地點頭，继续前行。

Then one day, I dreamed that I was in a nature reserve. In the dream I was surrounded by indescribable beauty. I was walking through the reserve and admiring the full wonder of it all when I came across an angry old man with a grey beard who, as far as I could make out, was the Guardian of the Reserve. He watched me in silence. I walked up to him but as soon as I opened my mouth to speak he cut across me. In a cold tone he said that he didn’t want to hear a word; he was tired of noisy and capricious visitors who were constantly displeased, always making demands and left mountains of rubbish after themselves. I nodded in sympathy and walked on.

我驚嘆於保護區獨特的美景，納悶為何之前從未來過。著迷地，我繼續漫遊，沉浸在四周的壯麗景色中。沒有言語能完全描述這片風景的完美。我的腦海一片空白，只剩敬畏。

I was amazed by the unique beauty of the reserve and wondered why I hadn’t visited it before. Enchanted, I continued to wander around taking in the magnificence on all sides. No words could fully describe the perfection of the landscape. My mind went blank in stunned admiration.

不久，守護者再次出現在我面前。他嚴肅的表情軟化，示意我跟隨。我們爬上一座綠色小山，從那裡俯瞰一個如畫的山谷，景色壯觀。我看見一個像童話書插圖的村莊，玩具般的房子點綴著植物與花卉。如果眼前的景象更真實，我可能會長久地陶醉其中。但我開始懷疑，這種奇幻美景屬於夢境，而非現實。我帶著疑問看向守護者，他只是鬍子裡嗤笑，彷彿在說：“這才剛開始！”

Soon the Guardian appeared before me again. The austere look on his face had softened and he beckoned for me to follow. We climbed to the top of a green hill and from there the spectacular view of a picturesque valley opened before us. I could make out some kind of village with toy houses decorated with plants and flowers like an illustration in a book of fairy-tales. Had the scene before me appeared more real I could have stood regarding it with delight for some time. As it was, I started to suspect that such fabulous beauty was the stuff of dreams and not real life. I turned to the Guardian with a questioning look but he just sneered into his beard as if to say: “We’re only just getting started!”

當我們走下山谷，我開始意識到自己不記得如何來到保護區。我希望老人能解釋。然後我可能笨拙地提到，住在如此美麗的地方一定感覺很好，只有幸運的富人才能負擔得起。守護者顯然惱怒，回應道：“誰阻止你加入他們？”

As we descended into the valley below it began to dawn on me that I could not remember how I had arrived at the reserve. I was hoping the old man could give me an explanation. Then I must have made some clumsy remark about how it must feel pretty damn good to be one of the lucky ones who could afford to live in such a beautiful place, to which, openly displaying his irritation, the Guardian replied: “Who is stopping you from joining them?”

我開始抱怨，不是每個人生來富有，我們無法選擇命運。守護者無視我的話，說：“這就是重點。每個人都有自由選擇任何想要的命運。你唯一真正的自由是選擇的自由。你可以選擇任何你想要的。”

I started to go on about how not everyone was born rich and we don’t choose our fate. The Guardian ignored my words and said: “That’s the point. Everyone is free to choose any destiny they wish. The only freedom we truly have is the freedom of choice. You can choose anything you want.”

他的說法與我的人生哲學完全不符，我想爭辯，但守護者不聽：“愚蠢！”他說。“你有選擇的權利，但你不使用它。你甚至不明白‘選擇’真正的意思。”這太離譜了，我想。他說我可以選擇任何想要的，難道能憑空變出東西？那瞬間我突然意識到自己在做夢。這情況讓我不知所措，不知該如何應對。

His statement did not at all fit with my philosophy of life and I made to argue with him, but the Guardian would not listen: “Fool!” he said. “You have the right to choose, but you don’t exercise it. You do not even understand what ‘to choose’ really means.” This is ridiculous, I thought. What does he mean by, “I can choose whatever I want”? Anyone would think that you could just conjure up anything you wanted. At that moment I suddenly realised that I was dreaming. The situation threw me and I did not know how to behave.

據我回憶，我暗示老人，無論在夢中或現實，他選擇說這些荒唐話，這就是他自由的極限。我的評論似乎完全沒影響他，他反而笑了。意識到這情況多荒謬（與自己夢中的人物爭論有什麼意義？），我考慮是否該醒來。彷彿讀懂我的心思，老人說：“夠了。我們時間不多。我沒想到他們會派個像你這樣的笨蛋來，但我必須繼續我的使命。”

As far as I can recollect I hinted to the old man that he could chose to speak rubbish whether in a dream or in waking but there ended the extent of his freedom. My comment did not seem to bother the Guardian at all; in fact he laughed in response. Aware of how ridiculous the situation was (what was the point of getting into a debate with a figure from my own dream?) I was considering whether it would be better to wake myself up. As if reading my mind the old man said: “That’s enough. We don’t have much time. I hadn’t expected them to send me a moron like you, but I must carry on with my mission nonetheless.”

我想問他的“使命”是什麼，“他們”是誰，但他無視我，給了我一個當時看似荒誕的謎語：“每個人都可以自由選擇任何想要的東西；但這是個謎語：你如何獲得這種自由？當你正確猜出答案，你的蘋果將會飛向天空。”

I was going to ask him what his ‘mission’ was, and who ‘they’ were but he ignored me, instead giving me a riddle, which at the time seemed quite absurd: “Everyone can have the freedom to choose whatever they want; but here’s a riddle for you: how do you acquire that freedom? When you guess the answer correctly your apples will fall to the sky.”

什麼蘋果？我開始失去耐心，說我無意解任何謎語。奇蹟只在夢境和童話中發生。在現實中，蘋果通常掉到地上，他回答：“夠了！走吧。我有東西要給你看。”

What apples? I was beginning to loose patience and said that I had no intention of solving any riddles. Miracles only happened in dreams and fairy-tales. In reality, apples generally fall to the ground, to which he replied: “That’s enough! Let’s go. There is something I must show you.”

遺憾的是，醒來後我無法記得夢的結尾。但我確實感覺到，雖然無法清晰表達，守護者傳授了我某種資訊。只有一個詞滲入我的意識，但我不知其意：Transurfing。我腦中反覆出現的想法是，我不必完全自己創造我的世界；屬於我的一切早已被創造，無需我參與，卻為了我的福祉。與世界爭奪陽光下的位置毫無意義，沒人阻止我選擇想要的生活。

Regrettably, when I woke up I could not remember the end of the dream. However, I did have the distinct feeling that although I was unable to express it consciously, the Guardian had imparted some kind of information to me. Just one word seeped through into my mind but I had no idea what it meant: Transurfing. The thought I found going round my mind was that I did not have to totally furnish my world myself; that everything that was to be mine had been created long ago without my participation but for my own well-being. There was absolutely no point in battling with the world for a place under the sun, and no- one was stopping me from simply choosing the life I wanted to have.

起初這想法看似荒謬。我可能早就忘了這事，若非不久後我驚訝地開始清楚回憶守護者說的“選擇”之意，以及如何真正做出選擇。守護者的謎語答案自己浮現，如同知識有時從無處而來。我每天學到新東西，每次都感到極大驚訝，有時近乎恐懼。我無法理性解釋這知識如何到來，但我確信一件事：我絕不可能自己編造出來。

At first the idea seemed absurd. I would probably have forgotten all about it if I had not to my amazement soon afterwards started having very clear recollections of what the Guardian meant by the word ‘choose’, and how to actually make a choice. The answer to the Guardian’s riddle came to me of its own accord; as knowledge does sometimes seem to come from nowhere. Every day I learned something new and each time I felt huge surprise, sometimes bordering on fear. I can give no rational explanation of how this knowledge came to me but of one thing I am certain. I could never have made it up myself.

自從我發現 Transurfing（或者說，是被賦予發現它），我的生活充滿了快樂的意義。任何從事過創造性工作的人都知道用自己的雙手創造東西帶來的幸福與滿足感。想像一下創造自己命運的感覺。即使“創造自己的命運”這句話，按其通常解釋，也無法描述我的意思。Transurfing 是一種讓你自由選擇命運的方法，就像在超市挑選商品。我想與你分享這一點，讓你明白為何“蘋果會飛向天空”，為何“晨星會沙沙作響”，以及許多其他奇妙的事物。

Ever since I discovered Transurfing (or rather, since I was given it to discover) my life has been filled with joyful meaning. Anyone who has ever been involved in some kind of creative work will know the happiness and fulfilment that comes with creating something with your own hands. Imagine then the feeling of creating your own destiny. Even the expression ‘to create your own destiny’ as it is interpreted in its usual sense, fails to describe what I mean here. Transurfing is a method that frees you to choose your own destiny, literally like you would choose something in a supermarket. I want to share this with you so that you can understand why ‘apples fall to the sky’, why the ‘morning stars rustle’, and many other curious things.

早晨星星的沙沙聲

The Rustle of the Morning Stars

我被鄰居的狗叫聲吵醒。那隻討厭的動物總是把我吵醒。我是多麼討厭它！為什麼我必須被別人的寵物的噪音吵醒？我決定出去散步，冷靜下來，轉移自己對燒毀鄰居房子的強烈渴望。人們常說狗像它的主人。這隻就是。我的生活中總是有某個白癡試圖讓我沮喪。感到壓力，我開始穿衣服。我的拖鞋又不見了。你們這些狡猾的小傢伙在哪裡？當我找到你們時，我會把你們扔出去！

I was woken by the neighbour’s dog barking. The nasty animal was always waking me up. How I hated it! Why should I have to be woken up by the noise of someone else’s pet? I decided to go out for a walk, calm down and distract myself from the intense desire to set fire to my neighbour’s house. They say dogs are like their owners. This one was. There always seemed to be some idiot in my life trying to get me down. Feeling stressed I started to get dressed. My slippers had disappeared again. Where are you, you sneaky little buggers? When I find you I will chuck you out!

外面霧濃而潮濕。我沿著滑溜的路徑走過陰鬱的森林。幾乎所有的樹葉都掉光了，暴露出半死不活的樹木的灰色樹幹。為什麼我住在這個令人沮喪的沼澤中？我伸手去拿一根香煙。我其實並不想要，但舊習慣告訴我我需要一根。需要？我什麼時候開始對香煙上癮的？早上空腹抽煙並不太愉快。我曾經是一個社交煙民。這曾經是時尚，是自由和風格的象徵。但派對結束了，灰色的日常生活隨之而來，帶來了像黏糊糊的水坑一樣的問題。你一遍又一遍地抽煙來消除每個問題，彷彿在對自己說：“我只是快速抽一根煙，喘口氣，然後再回到可怕的日常中。”

It was foggy and damp outside. I walked along the slippery path through the gloomy forest. Almost all the leaves had fallen, exposing the grey trunks of half- dead trees. Why do I live in the middle of this depressing bog? I reached for a cigarette. I didn’t really want one, but old habits told me I needed one. Need? At what point had I become addicted to cigarettes? It’s not very pleasant smoking in the morning on an empty stomach. I used to be a social smoker. It had been fashionable, a symbol of freedom and style. But the party ends and the grey, drizzle of everyday life sets in, bringing with it problems in patches like slimy puddles. You smoke each problem away several times as if saying to yourself: “I’ll just have this quick smoke, catch my breath and then launch myself back into the dreaded routine.”

煙霧進入我的眼睛，使它們刺痛，所以我像個不高興的孩子一樣用手遮住眼睛。我對一切都感到厭倦。彷彿讀懂了我的心思，一根樺樹枝惡意地彎曲過來，狠狠地打在我的額頭上。混蛋！在我的憤怒中，我把樹枝折成兩半，扔到一邊。樹枝被卡在樹上，左右彈跳，像個跳箱一樣上下彈跳，似乎在嘲笑我無法改變自己世界的任何方面。感到非常低落，我繼續前行。

The smoke got in my eyes making them sting, so I placed my hands over them for a minute like an upset child. I was so fed up of everything. As if reading my thoughts, a birch branch bent spitefully and hit me hard on the forehead. Bastard! In my outrage I broke the branch in half and threw it to one side. The branch got caught in a tree and bounced from side to side and sprang up and down like a jack in a box as if mocking my inability to change any aspect of my world. Feeling very low I pushed on.

每次我試圖與世界抗爭時，世界最初會讓步，給我虛假的希望，然後又用一記重擊回擊我。只有在電影中，英雄才能不顧一切地朝著目標前進。在現實中，情況有些不同。生活就像一場輪盤遊戲。你贏了一次、兩次，甚至三次。你想像自己是獎品獲得者，世界在你腳下，但最終總是得到的比你開始時少。你只是一隻被養肥的火雞，準備被烤熟，伴隨著快樂的音樂和笑聲。你在自欺欺人。今天不是你的幸運日。你犯了一個錯誤……

Every time I tried to battle with the world it would at first yield, giving me false hope, only then to come back at me with a hard slap. It’s only in films that the hero sets off towards his goal casting aside anything and everything that stands in the way. In reality, things are a bit different. Life is like a game of roulette. You win once, twice, even three times. You imagine yourself the prize- winner with the world at your feet but always end up with less than you started. You are just the turkey fattened up to be roasted and devoured to the sounds of happy music and laughter. You were fooling yourself. It’s not your lucky day. You made a mistake…

在黑暗的思緒中，我來到了海灘。尖銳的海浪猛烈地撲打著沙灘。寒冷潮濕的海風刺骨地吹著我。肥胖的海鷗在海岸上徘徊，懶洋洋地啄食腐爛的垃圾。它們的眼神帶著冷漠而空洞的黑色，彷彿反映出周圍世界的寒冷和敵意。

Wallowing in dark thoughts I arrived at the beach. Sharp waves were biting viciously at the sandy shore. The cold, damp sea breeze blew at me bitterly. Fat sea gulls wandered the shoreline, lazily pecking at rotten waste. Their eyes carried a cold, black empty look as if reflecting the cold and antagonism of the world around me.

一個流浪漢在海灘上收集空瓶子。我希望他能消失。我想要獨處，但他朝我走來，可能想要乞討什麼。我決定回家。難道哪裡都沒有平靜嗎？我太累了。我意識到，即使在放鬆時，疲憊的感覺也從未離開過我。在某個時刻，我開始打發時間，彷彿是在服刑。我總是在等待事情改變，等待生活中出現一個新的階段，在那裡我會有所不同，能夠享受生活，但那個階段總是在未來的某個地方。與此同時，依然是老一套的繁瑣。我一直在等待，但更好的未來依然如影隨形。我會回家，做我總是做的事情；吃一頓無聊的早餐，然後去我那無趣的工作，強迫自己產出對別人有意義但對我來說卻無關緊要的結果。這又將是一天無聊而毫無意義的生活。

A tramp was collecting empty bottles on the beach. I wished he would disappear. I wanted to be alone but he was walking towards me, probably wanting to scrounge something. I decided to go home. Was there no peace anywhere? I was so tired. I realised that the feeling of tiredness never left me, even when I was relaxing. At some point I had started killing time as if sitting out a prison sentence. I was always waiting for things to change, for a new stage in my life to begin where I would be different and able to enjoy life, but that stage was always somewhere in the future. In the meantime it was the same old drudgery. I kept waiting but the better future remained as elusive as ever. I would return home and do the same thing I always did; eat a boring breakfast and then leave for my dull job, forcing myself to produce results which mattered to someone else but not to me. It would be just another day of the same tiresome, meaningless life.

我被早晨星星的沙沙聲吵醒。多麼悲傷的夢。彷彿我回到了過去的某個時期。謝天謝地，這只是一場夢。我如釋重負地伸展，就像我的貓一樣。牠懶洋洋地躺著，只有牠的耳朵顯示出牠意識到我的存在。起來吧，你這隻有鬍鬚的東西。你要跟我一起散步嗎？我已經訂購了一個陽光明媚的日子，於是出發朝海邊走去。

I was woken by the rustle of the morning stars. What a sad dream. It was as if I had returned to a period in my past. Thank goodness it was only a dream. I stretched with relief just like my cat does. There he was lying lazily sprawled out–only his ears giving any sign that he was aware of my presence. Get up you whiskered thing. Are you coming with me for a walk? I had placed an order for a sunny day and so set off towards the sea.

小路穿過森林，早晨星星的沙沙聲逐漸消退，讓位於鳥類國度的多聲合唱。灌木叢中有人特別努力地叫著“食物！食物！”那隻小可憐的傢伙。怎麼會這麼小的一團絨毛叫得如此響亮？直到現在我才意識到，雖然每隻鳥都有不同的聲音，但它們從未與合唱的其他部分不和諧。它們總是能夠產生如此優雅的交響樂；無論多麼精緻的管弦樂團都無法與之相比。

The path led through the forest and the rustle of the morning stars gradually faded, giving way to the multi-voiced choir of the bird nation. Someone in the bushes was trying especially hard “Food! Food!” There he was the little wretch. However can such a little ball of fluff squawk so loudly? Only now did it occur to me that although every bird had a different voice, none were ever out of tune with the rest of the choir. They always managed to produce such a graceful symphony; no orchestra, however sophisticated could be favourably compared.

太陽的光線在樹間延伸，創造出一種神奇的背光，突顯出森林色彩的豐富深度，將其變成一個奇妙的全息圖。小路勤奮地引導我朝海邊走去。翡翠般的海浪與溫暖的海風互相低語。海岸似乎無盡而空曠，但我感到舒適和平靜，彷彿這個過度擁擠的世界為我創造了一個僻靜的角落。有些人相信世界是心靈創造的幻影，但我無法想像自己有如此高的自我評價，認為這一切美麗都是我自己意識的產物。

The sun stretched its rays between the trees, creating a magical backlighting that highlighted the voluminous depth and richness of the colours of the forest and transforming it into one miraculous hologram. The path led me diligently towards the sea. The emerald waves exchanged whisperings with the warm sea breeze. The shore seemed endless and empty but I felt comfortable and at peace as if the overpopulated world had created a secluded corner just for me. Some people believe the world is an illusion created by the mind but I could not imagine having such a high opinion of myself that I could think all this beauty was the product of my own consciousness.

仍然感受到我壓抑夢境的影響，我開始回憶起我以前的生活，實際上那生活和我的夢一樣乏味而陰鬱。像很多人一樣，我經常要求世界給我我覺得它欠我的一切，但作為回應，它對我冷漠地轉過身去。比我更智慧、更有經驗的人建議我不要放棄，因為世界也不會那麼容易放棄。“你必須為你想要的東西而戰。”於是我試著與世界抗爭，但沒有任何進展，最終感到疲憊。我的顧問對此也有現成的答案。“你是問題所在。在你開始要求生活的東西之前，先改變自己。”於是，我與自己抗爭，但這比與世界抗爭還要困難。

Still feeling the effect of my oppressive dream I began to reminisce about my former life, which had actually been as dull and gloomy as my dream. Like a lot of people, I had often demanded that the world give me all I felt it owed me but in response it had turned its back on me in indifference. I was advised by others wiser and more experienced than myself not to give up because the world doesn’t give up that easily either. “You have to fight for what you want”. So I tried battling with the world but I didn’t get anywhere and ended up exhausted. My advisers had a ready answer for this too. “You are the problem. Change yourself before you start demanding things of life”. So, I battled with myself but this turned out to be even harder than battling with the world.

有一天，我夢見自己在一個自然保護區。夢中我被無法形容的美麗所包圍。我在保護區裡漫步，欣賞著周圍的一切奇觀，當我遇到一位滿臉怒氣的白鬍子老者，他看起來是保護區的守護者。他默默地看著我。我走上前去，但我一開口，他就打斷了我。用冷漠的語氣說他不想聽到任何話；他厭倦了那些喧鬧和反覆無常的遊客，他們總是心懷不滿，總是提出要求，並在離開後留下成堆的垃圾。我同情地點了點頭，繼續走了下去。

Then one day, I dreamed that I was in a nature reserve. In the dream I was surrounded by indescribable beauty. I was walking through the reserve and admiring the full wonder of it all when I came across an angry old man with a grey beard who, as far as I could make out, was the Guardian of the Reserve. He watched me in silence. I walked up to him but as soon as I opened my mouth to speak he cut across me. In a cold tone he said that he didn’t want to hear a word; he was tired of noisy and capricious visitors who were constantly displeased, always making demands and left mountains of rubbish after themselves. I nodded in sympathy and walked on.

我對保護區獨特的美感到驚訝，並想知道為什麼我之前沒有來過。著迷之下，我繼續四處漫遊，欣賞著四周的壯麗。沒有任何言語能完全描述這片風景的完美。我驚訝地愣住了，心中充滿了敬畏。

I was amazed by the unique beauty of the reserve and wondered why I hadn’t visited it before. Enchanted, I continued to wander around taking in the magnificence on all sides. No words could fully describe the perfection of the landscape. My mind went blank in stunned admiration.

不久，守護者再次出現在我面前。他臉上的嚴肅表情變得柔和，示意我跟隨。我們爬上了一座綠色的小山，從那裡壯觀的風景展現在我們面前，俯瞰著一個如畫的山谷。我能看到某種村莊，裡面有用植物和花朵裝飾的玩具房子，就像童話書中的插圖。如果眼前的場景看起來更真實，我可能會愉快地凝視它一段時間。事實上，我開始懷疑這樣的美麗是否只是夢境，而不是現實生活。我轉向守護者，帶著疑惑的神情，但他只是對著鬍鬚冷笑，彷彿在說：“我們才剛剛開始！”

Soon the Guardian appeared before me again. The austere look on his face had softened and he beckoned for me to follow. We climbed to the top of a green hill and from there the spectacular view of a picturesque valley opened before us. I could make out some kind of village with toy houses decorated with plants and flowers like an illustration in a book of fairy-tales. Had the scene before me appeared more real I could have stood regarding it with delight for some time. As it was, I started to suspect that such fabulous beauty was the stuff of dreams and not real life. I turned to the Guardian with a questioning look but he just sneered into his beard as if to say: “We’re only just getting started!”

當我們下到下面的山谷時，我開始意識到我無法記起自己是如何來到保護區的。我希望老者能給我一個解釋。然後我可能說了一些笨拙的話，提到能夠住在這樣美麗的地方一定感覺很好，對此，守護者明顯表現出不悅，回答說：“誰在阻止你加入他們？”

As we descended into the valley below it began to dawn on me that I could not remember how I had arrived at the reserve. I was hoping the old man could give me an explanation. Then I must have made some clumsy remark about how it must feel pretty damn good to be one of the lucky ones who could afford to live in such a beautiful place, to which, openly displaying his irritation, the Guardian replied: “Who is stopping you from joining them?”

我開始談論不是每個人都生來富有，我們無法選擇自己的命運。守護者無視我的話，說：“這就是重點。每個人都有自由選擇他們想要的命運。我們真正擁有的唯一自由是選擇的自由。你可以選擇任何你想要的東西。”

I started to go on about how not everyone was born rich and we don’t choose our fate. The Guardian ignored my words and said: “That’s the point. Everyone is free to choose any destiny they wish. The only freedom we truly have is the freedom of choice. You can choose anything you want.”

他的說法完全不符合我的人生哲學，我想和他爭論，但守護者不願意聽：“傻瓜！”他說。“你有選擇的權利，但你卻不去行使。你甚至不明白‘選擇’真正的意思。”我心想，這太荒謬了。他所說的“我可以選擇任何我想要的”是什麼意思？任何人都會認為你可以隨心所欲地召喚任何東西。在那一刻，我突然意識到我在做夢。這種情況讓我感到困惑，我不知道該如何行動。

His statement did not at all fit with my philosophy of life and I made to argue with him, but the Guardian would not listen: “Fool!” he said. “You have the right to choose, but you don’t exercise it. You do not even understand what ‘to choose’ really means.” This is ridiculous, I thought. What does he mean by, “I can choose whatever I want”? Anyone would think that you could just conjure up anything you wanted. At that moment I suddenly realised that I was dreaming. The situation threw me and I did not know how to behave.

據我所記得，我暗示老者他可以選擇在夢中或清醒時說廢話，但這就是他自由的極限。我的評論似乎對守護者毫無影響；事實上，他笑了。意識到這種情況的荒謬（和夢中的角色辯論有什麼意義呢？）我開始考慮是否應該把自己叫醒。彷彿讀懂了我的心思，老者說：“夠了。我們沒有太多時間。我沒想到他們會派來像你這樣的傻瓜，但我仍然必須繼續我的使命。”

As far as I can recollect I hinted to the old man that he could chose to speak rubbish whether in a dream or in waking but there ended the extent of his freedom. My comment did not seem to bother the Guardian at all; in fact he laughed in response. Aware of how ridiculous the situation was (what was the point of getting into a debate with a figure from my own dream?) I was considering whether it would be better to wake myself up. As if reading my mind the old man said: “That’s enough. We don’t have much time. I hadn’t expected them to send me a moron like you, but I must carry on with my mission nonetheless.”

我本想問他什麼是他的“使命”，以及“他們”是誰，但他無視我，給了我一個謎語，當時看起來相當荒謬：“每個人都可以擁有選擇任何他們想要的自由；但這裡有個謎語：你如何獲得那種自由？當你正確猜到答案時，你的蘋果將會掉向天空。”

I was going to ask him what his ‘mission’ was, and who ‘they’ were but he ignored me, instead giving me a riddle, which at the time seemed quite absurd: “Everyone can have the freedom to choose whatever they want; but here’s a riddle for you: how do you acquire that freedom? When you guess the answer correctly your apples will fall to the sky.”

什麼蘋果？我開始失去耐心，說我不打算解任何謎語。奇蹟只會發生在夢中和童話裡。在現實中，蘋果通常會掉到地上，對此他回答：“夠了！我們走吧。我有些事情必須向你展示。”

What apples? I was beginning to loose patience and said that I had no intention of solving any riddles. Miracles only happened in dreams and fairy-tales. In reality, apples generally fall to the ground, to which he replied: “That’s enough! Let’s go. There is something I must show you.”

可惜的是，當我醒來時，我無法記起夢的結尾。然而，我確實有一種明確的感覺，雖然我無法清楚表達，但守護者向我傳達了一些信息。只有一個詞滲透進我的腦海，但我不知道它的意思：Transurfing。我腦海中反覆出現的想法是，我不必完全自己裝飾我的世界；所有屬於我的東西早在我參與之前就已經創造出來，卻是為了我的幸福。與其為了在陽光下佔有一席之地而與世界抗爭，沒有人在阻止我簡單地選擇我想要的生活。

Regrettably, when I woke up I could not remember the end of the dream. However, I did have the distinct feeling that although I was unable to express it consciously, the Guardian had imparted some kind of information to me. Just one word seeped through into my mind but I had no idea what it meant: Transurfing. The thought I found going round my mind was that I did not have to totally furnish my world myself; that everything that was to be mine had been created long ago without my participation but for my own well-being. There was absolutely no point in battling with the world for a place under the sun, and no- one was stopping me from simply choosing the life I wanted to have.

起初這個想法似乎很荒謬。如果不是因為我驚訝地發現不久後開始清晰地回憶起守護者所說的“選擇”這個詞的含義，以及如何實際做出選擇，我可能會完全忘記它。守護者的謎語的答案自然而然地浮現在我的腦海中；知識有時似乎就是從無中而來。每天我都學到一些新東西，每次都感到巨大的驚訝，有時甚至接近恐懼。我無法給出這些知識是如何來到我這裡的合理解釋，但我確信一點。我永遠無法自己編造出來。

At first the idea seemed absurd. I would probably have forgotten all about it if I had not to my amazement soon afterwards started having very clear recollections of what the Guardian meant by the word ‘choose’, and how to actually make a choice. The answer to the Guardian’s riddle came to me of its own accord; as knowledge does sometimes seem to come from nowhere. Every day I learned something new and each time I felt huge surprise, sometimes bordering on fear. I can give no rational explanation of how this knowledge came to me but of one thing I am certain. I could never have made it up myself.

自從我發現Transurfing（或者更確切地說，自從我被賦予去發現它）以來，我的生活充滿了快樂的意義。任何曾經參與某種創作工作的人都會知道，親手創造某樣東西所帶來的快樂和滿足感。那麼，想像一下創造自己命運的感覺。即使“創造自己的命運”這個表達在其通常意義上被解釋，也無法描述我在這裡的意思。Transurfing是一種方法，讓你自由選擇自己的命運，字面上就像你在超市中選擇某樣東西。我想與你分享這一點，讓你理解為什麼“蘋果掉向天空”，為什麼“晨星沙沙作響”，以及許多其他奇妙的事情。

Ever since I discovered Transurfing (or rather, since I was given it to discover) my life has been filled with joyful meaning. Anyone who has ever been involved in some kind of creative work will know the happiness and fulfilment that comes with creating something with your own hands. Imagine then the feeling of creating your own destiny. Even the expression ‘to create your own destiny’ as it is interpreted in its usual sense, fails to describe what I mean here. Transurfing is a method that frees you to choose your own destiny, literally like you would choose something in a supermarket. I want to share this with you so that you can understand why ‘apples fall to the sky’, why the ‘morning stars rustle’, and many other curious things.