理想化與過度評價
Idealization and Overvaluation
1/15
過度評價指的是人們認為某人具備其實並不擁有的品質。在某一層面上，心靈的幻覺或許無傷大雅；但在能量層面上，這些幻覺會創造出過剩潛能 (Exceed potential)，因為只要在數量或質量上出現波動，潛能便應運而生。過度評價即是在不存在的地方投射並集中了某些品質。理想化大致可分為兩種類型：第一種是把某個人描繪得擁有完全不符合其實際特質的品質；為了消除隨之產生於能量場中的不均勻，平衡力量 (Balanced forces) 必須產生某種反制力量。
Overvaluation is when a person is imagined to have qualities they do not in fact embody. On one level the illusions of the mind are quite harmless. On the energetic level however, they generate excess potential because potential is created wherever there is a flux in quantity or quality. Overvaluation is a projection and concentration of qualities there where they are not present in reality. There are two types of idealization. In the first type an individual is portrayed as having qualities which are in fact totally uncharacteristic. In order to eliminate the resulting inhomogeneity in the energy field, balanced forces have to create some kind of counter force.
2/15
例如，一個充滿夢想與浪漫情懷的年輕人，在心中勾勒出他心儀女子的形象，將她塑造成一位純潔美麗的天使；然而事實上，這位女子其實是個腳踏實地、熱愛享樂的人，對那沉醉於夢想的年輕人的幻想毫無興趣。不管如何，當一個人將另一個人神化、捧上神壇時，那虛幻的形象遲早會被揭穿，隨之而來的必然是失望與幻滅。
For example, a dreamy and romantic young man creates a mental image of his beloved, portraying her as an angel of pure beauty. In reality it turns out that the young women in question is a grounded individual, who loves having a good time and shows no interest in sharing the dreams of the love-struck young man. Whatever the circumstances, when a person creates an idol of another and places them on a pedestal, the myth will sooner or later be debunked and the necessary disillusionment follows.
3/15
在這方面，作家卡爾·馬伊 (Karl May) 的故事真是令人讚嘆。馬伊撰寫了多部以美國舊西部為背景、風靡一時的冒險小說，其中最著名的角色包括溫尼陶 (Winnetou) 和老碎手 (Old Shatterhand)。他以第一人稱敘述的方式，使讀者彷彿感受到他曾親歷書中事蹟，從而贏得極高的讚譽與崇拜。其作品猶如生動的電影，讓人誤以為那些故事竟是真實的紀實，因此他也被譽為「德國的大仲馬」。
In this context the story of the writer Karl May is quite remarkable. May was the author of some popular adventure novels set in the American Old West and best known for the characters of Winnetou and Old Shatterhand. May’s novels were written in the style of first person narrator, creating the impression that he had personally participated in the events portrayed in his books, thereby earning great admiration. May’s works are as vivid and rich as a film and so the reader could well assume that the story was a factual account. May’s plots were so exciting that he was dubbed ‘the German Dumas’.
4/15
許多卡爾·馬伊的愛好者甚至將他等同於那位著名牛仔老碎手 (Old Shatterhand)；他們幾乎找不到比這更理想的崇拜與模仿對象，而且這位偶像看起來近在咫尺，使其形象更具吸引力。試想當大家得知卡爾·馬伊從未踏足美國，且部分作品竟是在他服刑期間完成的時候，那股驚訝與幻滅便接踵而至。神話被拆穿，幻想煙消雲散，而昔日的崇拜者轉而變成譴責者。究竟該怪誰呢？畢竟，讀者自己創造了那位偶像，並與之建立了一種依賴性關係 (Dependent relationships)：「是的，你是我們的英雄，但前提是這部書必須是真實故事。」
Numerous Karl May fans identified the writer with the famous cowboy Old Shatterhand. His admirers could hardly have considered any different; after all, they had found an object of admiration and imitation, and one who lived close by, making his persona even more powerful. Imagine their surprise when it was announced that Karl May had never even visited America, and some of the works had been written during his time in prison. The myth was debunked, the illusion dispelled, and the writer’s former fans became his execrators. Who was to blame? After all, the readers created the idol themselves and along with it, a dependent relationship: “Yes, you are our hero, but only if the book is a real life story”.
5/15
在第二種理想化中，人的注意力並不集中在擁有虛幻特質的某個人身上，而是放在那些充滿玫瑰色夢想與空中城堡的幻想之中。夢想者總是將自己的頭腦翱翔於雲端，以此躲避現實生活的醜陋。很明顯，這種情況下會產生過剩潛能 (Exceed potential)。為了摧毀這些虛構的空中城堡，平衡力量 (Balanced forces) 會迫使這位浪漫之人勇敢面對殘酷現實。即便此人能用其理念吸引上百人，形成一個獨立的擺錘 (Pendulum)，該烏托邦最終仍會因過剩潛能 (Exceed potential) 的偏差而顯得破綻百出；遲早，平衡力量 (Balanced forces) 就會制止那擺錘 (Pendulum) 的擺動。
In the second type of idealization, a person’s attention is focused not on a person with illusory qualities but on rose-tinted dreams and castles in the air. The dreamer lives with their head in the clouds as a way of escaping the ugliness of the reality of life. Obviously, excess potential is created in this situation. To tear down the castles in the air, balanced forces make the romantic individual face harsh reality. Even if the person in question is capable of distracting hundreds with their idea, thereby creating a separate pendulum, the utopia will be flawed because it is based on the bias of excess potential. Sooner or later balanced forces will stop the pendulum’s sway.
6/15
另一個例子說明了過度評價如何使一個對象成為理想。某位女性在心中描繪出理想丈夫的模樣，她越是堅信未來的伴侶必須符合某一特定標準，便會產生越強的過剩潛能 (Exceed potential)。這股潛能只能由一個實際上擁有與她期望截然相反品質的人來中和。當她與某人相遇，並最終發現對方的真實樣貌時，她不禁自問：「我怎會如此盲目？」反之亦然，如果一位女性過於專注於討厭男性的醉態與粗魯，她可能最終陷入與酗酒者或常對她口出惡言者建立關係的陷阱。通常人們會發現，因為自己產生的過剩潛能 (Exceed potential) 與不接受的思維能量共振，他們不得不面對那些原本認為完全無法接受的特質。生活常常讓本來截然不同、似乎毫不相容的人聚在一起，而平衡力量 (Balanced forces) 則會將具有對立潛能的人拉攏在一起，以此努力中和單方所造成的不平衡。
Here is another example of how an overvalued object exists as an ideal. A woman is imagining what her ideal husband would look like. The more she convinces herself that her future husband must be of a certain type the stronger the excess potential that is created. The excess potential can only be neutralized by a person who embodies qualities which are the exact opposite of what the women wanted to find in her partner. When she meets someone and later discovers what they are really like, the woman asks herself how she “could have been so blind”. The opposite can also occur. If a woman focuses on how much she hates drunkenness and rudeness in a man she may fall into the trap of building a relationship with an alcoholic or a man who bad mouths her. Often people find they have to deal with the things they find totally unacceptable because in addition to creating excess potential their thought energy radiates at the frequency of their non-acceptance. Life often brings people together who are very different and who would appear to be totally incompatible. Balanced forces bring people together who have opposite qualities of potential, in that way striving to neutralize the imbalance created by one or the other.
7/15
平衡力量 (Balanced forces) 對孩童的影響尤為明顯，因為孩子比成年人更敏感於能量，且表現得更為自然。如果過分讚揚孩子，他們可能會故意耍小脾氣；孩子會逐漸失去對那些被他們輕易操縱、任由他們擺佈的成年人的尊敬，甚至開始蔑視這些成人。如果家長竭盡所能地想把小男孩養成一個乖巧聽話的人，往往結果會是孩子反叛，捲入街頭幫派；若家長試圖將孩子培養成神童，孩子往往對學習就失去了所有興趣。家長給孩子安排的課外活動、俱樂部和輔導越多，孩子長大後形成乏味冷漠的性格的可能性就越大。
The influence of balanced forces can be seen especially clearly in children because children tend to be more sensitive to energy than adults and behave more naturally. If a child is praised too much they will start being deliberately naughty. Children lose respect for and even end up despising adults that let the child twist them around their little finger. If a parent does all they can to turn their little boy into a well brought up goody-two-shoes, the child will probably end up breaking out and getting involved with some kind of street gang. If a parent tries to create a wunderkind out of their child the likelihood is that they will loose all interest in their studies. The more the parent burdens the child with after school clubs, activities and private lessons, the more likely the child is to grow up with a dull personality.
8/15
養育孩子的最佳原則，就是以待客之道對待孩子——不僅是對待孩子，而是對待所有人，都應該給予他們足夠的關注、尊重與自由選擇 (Choice)，而又不產生過剩潛能 (Exceed potential)，也不讓孩子操控一切，使你的生活陷入痛苦。這種關係應該建立在「你也只是這世界上的過客」的類比上。只要不走極端，接受現有規則，你就能自由選擇世界上所有你想要的東西。
The best principle in bringing up children is to behave towards the child (and not only towards children) as if they were guests, i.e., giving them attention, respect and freedom of choice, without creating excess potential and without letting them run the show or make your life a misery. The relationship should be constructed on the analogy that you too are no more than a guest in this world. If you accept the rules of the game without going to extremes, you will be free to choose from all that exists in this world.
9/15
健康的關係與不健康的關係一樣普遍，兩者各自都存在著一種平衡。仇恨存在，愛亦然。健康而平衡的關係的一大特點在於它不會產生過剩潛能 (Exceed potential)。潛能之所以會出現，是因為在對名義價值的評價中出現了明顯偏差，而評價本身具有相對性。在扭曲度量表上，零點可被視為無條件的愛。正如你所知，無條件愛既不促生依賴性關係 (Dependent relationships) ，也不會產生過剩潛能 (Exceed potential)；然而，這種愛極為罕見。通常，佔有慾、依賴和過度評價總是混雜在愛中。人們很難抗拒那種佔有的不安，並且自然而然地希望證明自己擁有所愛之人——只要不走向兩個極端中的任一端。
Healthy relationships are as common as unhealthy relationships and there is a certain balance in the existence of both. Hate exists and so does love. A quality of a healthy balanced relationship is that it does not produce excess potential. Potential emerges when there is a noticeable bias in an assessment with regards to the nominal value. Evaluations are relative. On the scale of distortion, zero can be considered unconditional love. As you know, unconditional love does not support dependent relationships, nor does it create excess potential. This kind of love however, is extremely rare. Normally, possession, dependence and overvaluation are mixed into love’s vessel. It is difficult to resist feelings of possessiveness and quite natural that one should want to know that you have the person you love, as long as things do not go to one of two extremes.
10/15
第一種極端表現為當你渴望佔有所愛之人，儘管這個人與你僅有模糊的聯繫，甚至可能全然不知你的慾望（當然，我指的不僅僅是身體上的佔有）。這正是單相思 (unrequited love) 的典型情況，常導致極大痛苦。然而，其運作機制並非你想像中那麼簡單。請記住那花朵的隱喻——你喜歡在花叢中漫步，欣賞那些花的美麗，也可能曾好奇過花兒是否也對你有情。試想，花兒究竟會以何種眼光看待你？各種奇怪的想法便會湧上心頭，例如恐懼、焦慮、不喜、冷漠。你可能會納悶花兒究竟有何理由去愛你。或許你拼命想將它們捧在手中，但卻因它們生長在花壇中或因價格昂貴而無法如願。此階段所感受到的，已不再是愛，而是一種依賴，並伴隨著負面情緒的逐漸滋生。
The first extreme is the desire to possess the object of your love if that person is only vaguely associated with you and might not even suspect your desires (of course, you understand that I am not only talking about the physical aspect of possession). This is what happens in the classical case of unrequited love which always leads to much suffering. However, the mechanism at play here is not quite as simple as you might think. Remember the flower metaphor. You love to wander among the flowers, admiring their beauty and you may have wondered whether they love you too. Now try to imagine what the flowers think of you. All sorts of strange ideas will enter your mind such as fear, anxiety, dislike, indifference. You may wonder what reason the flowers could have to love you. Perhaps you desperately want to hold them in your hand but you cannot because they are growing in a flowerbed or are for sale but are very expensive. What one experiences at this stage is no longer love but dependency and with that, negative emotions begin to creep in.
11/15
當你身處一地，而你所愛之人卻在他處，而你渴望將對方拉近自己身邊，這正意味著你在創造能量潛能 (Exceed potential)。或許你會以為就像氣壓由高向低流動一樣，這股過剩潛能會自動將那人吸引過來，但現實中平衡力量 (Balanced forces) 並不在乎你採用哪種手段來重建平衡。相反，它們可能會讓你與你所愛之人的距離更遠，以中和那股過剩潛能，同時也會讓你心碎。若是一遇到哪怕一絲愛情的失望，你便開始誇大地認為夢中情人根本不愛你，那麼你就會被牽引到那些互惠愛情稀少的生命線 (Life line) 上。
So, you are in one place and the object of your love is in another and you would like to have the object of your love with you, i.e., you are creating energetic potential. One might think that excess potential would draw the desired object to you like air mass that shifts from an area of high to low pressure but that is not how things work at all. It makes no difference to balanced forces what method is used to re-establish equilibrium, and so they may place the object of your love at an either further distance from you thereby neutralizing the excess potential and breaking your heart at the same time. If, at the slightest sign of disappointment in love, person is inclined to dramatise the situation even more with thoughts that the person of their dreams does not love them they will be pulled towards life lines where reciprocated love is a rare phenomenon.
12/15
你渴望擁有所愛或經歷互惠愛情的心越強烈，平衡力量 (Balanced forces) 所採取的對抗行動也會越猛烈。當然，若這股力量最終選擇使你與所愛之人更緊密地靠攏，那故事便會有個美滿的結局。事實上，平衡力量 (Balanced forces) 最終將採取的方向，在一開始就可見端倪。如果你過於迷戀於追求彼此愛意的互動，而一切似乎總是不如人意，那你就應該改變策略：試著去愛，而不必期待任何回報。如此一來，那些不穩定的振動便能轉化為有利於你之力，否則局勢可能會迅速惡化，直到改變變得幾乎不可能。
The stronger your desire to have something or to experience reciprocated love the stronger the action taken by balanced forces will be. Of course, if they choose a path that brings you and your loved one closer together then the story will have a happy ending. The direction balanced forces will ultimately take can easily be determined at the very outset. If you are preoccupied or obsessed with the need for your feelings to be mutual and yet nothing seems to be going right, you need to change your tactics. Try loving without expectation of reward. If you do this the unstable vibrations of balanced forces can be drawn closer and made to work for you; otherwise the situation may go snowballing out of control until it is practically impossible to change anything.
13/15
在這種情況下，唯一的解決方案就是——如果你想要互惠的愛情，你必須單純地去愛，而不必考慮自己是否能被回愛。首先，這樣做能避免創造過剩潛能 (Exceed potential)，也就是說，你就不會碰上那「五五開」的局面，使力量反噬於你；其次，當你不再糾結於是否會獲得回愛，你便能擺脫那些戲劇性且失控的單相思念頭，不會被牽引到與之對應的生命線 (Life line) 上。正好相反，若你純粹地去愛，而不去糾纏於佔有，你就能避免依賴性關係 (Dependent relationships) 的產生，而你釋放出的能量也會與那些充滿互惠愛的生命線 (Life line) 相契合。如果你已經找到了互惠之愛，就不必再為所有權和佔有問題所困。試想，若你放下了佔有的念頭，你與所愛之人親近的機率將大大提升。此外，無條件愛是一種極罕見又吸引人的品質，若你能體現這般愛，便自然而然地會吸引他人的靠近。你難道不會願意被那種僅為了愛你而愛你、卻不要求回報的人所吸引嗎？
There is only one solution in a situation like this. If you want your love to be mutual you have to love simply without thought of whether you are loved or not. Firstly, in taking this approach you avoid creating excess potential which means that the fifty percent probability that the forces will work against you is avoided. Secondly, when you are not obsessed with the idea of whether your feelings will be reciprocated, you are free of the dramatic and uncontrolled thoughts about unrequited love that pull you into corresponding life lines. Quite the opposite; if you simply love, without thought of possession, dependency is avoided and the parameters of the energy you radiate will correspond with those life lines where requited love exits. If you have already discovered requited love then you have no reason to be concerned with the issue of ownership and possession. Imagine how greatly your chances of being close to the one you love will increase for having given up the notion of possessing them. Besides, unconditional love is very rare and attractive quality and so if you can embody it you will automatically draw people to you. Would you not be drawn towards a person who loved you simply for the sake of it without demanding anything in return?
14/15
第二種極端則涉及對佔有權的追求，也就是嫉妒。在這種情況下，平衡力量 (Balanced forces) 有兩種可能的作用：若你已與所愛之人維持一段感情，第一種作用便是進一步拉近彼此的距離——有些人甚至喜歡在關係中加入一絲嫉妒；另一種選擇則是平衡力量 (Balanced forces) 直接消解導致嫉妒的根源，也就是那份愛本身。此時，嫉妒愈強，對彼此愛情的破壞就愈深，就像從單純品味野花芳香轉而想要製作香水一般，這種愛情的表現形式與之無異。
The second extreme concerns the right to ownership, which is of course jealousy. In this case balanced forces have two potential means of action. If you are already in a relationship with the person you love then the first means of action is to being you even closer together. Some people enjoy an element of jealousy in their relationship. The other option is for balanced forces to destroy whatever gave rise to the jealousy, i.e. the love itself. In this case, the stronger the jealousy the deeper the grave it digs for the love being shared in the relationship. The dynamics of love which becomes expressed as jealousy are just the same as the shift from simply savouring the aroma of the wild flowers to wanting to produce perfume.
15/15
以上所述同樣適用於女性與男性，但這絕非終極論點。稍後我們將在探討支撐 Transurfing 的其他概念時，重新回到此問題。生活看似簡單，卻又充滿複雜性；這正是因為戀愛中的人容易喪失理性思考能力，使得上述建議往往淪為旁門左道。但我並不會因此而自擾，因為我並不在乎讀者是否認同這些觀點。
All of the above relates as much to women as it does to men, but this is not the final word on the matter. We will return to this question later when we look at the other concepts that underpin Transurfing. Everything is so simple and yet at the same time so complex; complex because a person in love loses their ability to rationalise and so the recommendations above will probably fall to the wayside. I shall not however, upset myself with these things because I resist the need for the reader’s recognition.
理想化與過度評價
Idealization and Overvaluation
1/15
過度評價是指一個人被想像成擁有他們實際上並不具備的品質。在某種程度上，心靈的幻覺是無害的。然而，在能量層面上，它們會產生過剩潛力，因為無論哪裡存在數量或質量的變動，潛力就會被創造出來。過度評價是一種投射和集中於現實中不存在的品質。有兩種類型的理想化。第一種類型中，個人被描繪成擁有實際上完全不具特徵的品質。為了消除能量場中的不均勻性，平衡力必須創造某種反作用力。
Overvaluation is when a person is imagined to have qualities they do not in fact embody. On one level the illusions of the mind are quite harmless. On the energetic level however, they generate excess potential because potential is created wherever there is a flux in quantity or quality. Overvaluation is a projection and concentration of qualities there where they are not present in reality. There are two types of idealization. In the first type an individual is portrayed as having qualities which are in fact totally uncharacteristic. In order to eliminate the resulting inhomogeneity in the energy field, balanced forces have to create some kind of counter force.
2/15
例如，一個夢幻和浪漫的年輕人創造了一個心愛之人的心理形象，將她描繪成純粹美麗的天使。實際上，這位年輕女性是一個腳踏實地的人，喜歡享受生活，對分享這位愛戀中的年輕人的夢想毫無興趣。無論情況如何，當一個人將另一個人偶像化並將其置於神壇上時，神話遲早會被揭穿，隨之而來的是必要的幻滅。
For example, a dreamy and romantic young man creates a mental image of his beloved, portraying her as an angel of pure beauty. In reality it turns out that the young women in question is a grounded individual, who loves having a good time and shows no interest in sharing the dreams of the love-struck young man. Whatever the circumstances, when a person creates an idol of another and places them on a pedestal, the myth will sooner or later be debunked and the necessary disillusionment follows.
3/15
在這方面，作家卡爾·梅的故事相當引人注目。梅是一些以美國舊西部為背景的流行冒險小說的作者，以溫尼圖和老破碎手的角色而聞名。梅的小說以第一人稱敘述者的風格寫成，給人一種他親自參與書中描繪的事件的印象，從而贏得了極大的讚賞。梅的作品如電影般生動和豐富，因此讀者很容易認為這個故事是事實的記述。梅的情節如此激動人心，以至於他被稱為“德國的杜馬”。
In this context the story of the writer Karl May is quite remarkable. May was the author of some popular adventure novels set in the American Old West and best known for the characters of Winnetou and Old Shatterhand. May’s novels were written in the style of first person narrator, creating the impression that he had personally participated in the events portrayed in his books, thereby earning great admiration. May’s works are as vivid and rich as a film and so the reader could well assume that the story was a factual account. May’s plots were so exciting that he was dubbed ‘the German Dumas’.
4/15
許多卡爾·梅的粉絲將作家與著名的牛仔老破碎手聯繫在一起。他的崇拜者幾乎不會考慮其他可能性；畢竟，他們找到了崇拜和模仿的對象，而且這個人住得很近，使他的形象更具影響力。想像一下當宣布卡爾·梅甚至從未去過美國，而其中一些作品是在他入獄期間寫的時候，他們的驚訝。神話被揭穿，幻覺被打破，作家的前粉絲成為他的詛咒者。誰該負責？畢竟，讀者自己創造了偶像，並隨之建立了一種依賴關係：“是的，你是我們的英雄，但前提是這本書是真實的生活故事”。
Numerous Karl May fans identified the writer with the famous cowboy Old Shatterhand. His admirers could hardly have considered any different; after all, they had found an object of admiration and imitation, and one who lived close by, making his persona even more powerful. Imagine their surprise when it was announced that Karl May had never even visited America, and some of the works had been written during his time in prison. The myth was debunked, the illusion dispelled, and the writer’s former fans became his execrators. Who was to blame? After all, the readers created the idol themselves and along with it, a dependent relationship: “Yes, you are our hero, but only if the book is a real life story”.
5/15
在第二種類型的理想化中，一個人的注意力不是集中在具有虛幻品質的人身上，而是集中在玫瑰色的夢想和空中樓閣上。做夢者生活在雲端，以此來逃避生活現實的醜陋。顯然，在這種情況下會產生過剩潛力。為了拆除空中樓閣，平衡力讓浪漫的人面對嚴酷的現實。即使相關的人能夠用他們的想法吸引數百人，從而創造一個獨立的"鐘擺"(Pendulum)，烏托邦也會有缺陷，因為它基於過剩潛力的偏見。遲早，平衡力會停止"鐘擺"(Pendulum)的搖擺。
In the second type of idealization, a person’s attention is focused not on a person with illusory qualities but on rose-tinted dreams and castles in the air. The dreamer lives with their head in the clouds as a way of escaping the ugliness of the reality of life. Obviously, excess potential is created in this situation. To tear down the castles in the air, balanced forces make the romantic individual face harsh reality. Even if the person in question is capable of distracting hundreds with their idea, thereby creating a separate pendulum, the utopia will be flawed because it is based on the bias of excess potential. Sooner or later balanced forces will stop the pendulum’s sway.
6/15
這是另一個例子，說明過度評價的對象如何作為理想存在。一位女士在想像她理想的丈夫會是什麼樣子。她越是說服自己未來的丈夫必須是某種類型的人，所創造的過剩潛力就越強。過剩潛力只能由一個體現出與女性想在伴侶中找到的品質完全相反的人來中和。當她遇到某人並後來發現他們的真實樣子時，這位女士會問自己她“怎麼會這麼盲目”。相反的情況也可能發生。如果一位女士專注於她多麼討厭男人的酗酒和粗魯，她可能會陷入與酗酒者或對她口出惡言的男人建立關係的陷阱。人們經常發現他們必須處理那些他們完全無法接受的事情，因為除了創造過剩潛力之外，他們的思想能量還以他們不接受的頻率輻射。生活經常將非常不同且看似完全不相容的人聚在一起。平衡力將擁有相反潛力品質的人聚在一起，以此努力中和由一方或另一方創造的不平衡。
Here is another example of how an overvalued object exists as an ideal. A woman is imagining what her ideal husband would look like. The more she convinces herself that her future husband must be of a certain type the stronger the excess potential that is created. The excess potential can only be neutralized by a person who embodies qualities which are the exact opposite of what the women wanted to find in her partner. When she meets someone and later discovers what they are really like, the woman asks herself how she “could have been so blind”. The opposite can also occur. If a woman focuses on how much she hates drunkenness and rudeness in a man she may fall into the trap of building a relationship with an alcoholic or a man who bad mouths her. Often people find they have to deal with the things they find totally unacceptable because in addition to creating excess potential their thought energy radiates at the frequency of their non-acceptance. Life often brings people together who are very different and who would appear to be totally incompatible. Balanced forces bring people together who have opposite qualities of potential, in that way striving to neutralize the imbalance created by one or the other.
7/15
平衡力的影響在兒童身上尤其明顯，因為兒童往往比成人對能量更敏感，行為更自然。如果一個孩子被過度讚美，他們會開始故意調皮。孩子們會失去對那些讓他們為所欲為的成年人的尊重，甚至最終鄙視他們。如果父母竭盡所能地將他們的小男孩培養成一個乖乖仔，孩子最終可能會爆發，並參與某種街頭幫派。如果父母試圖將他們的孩子培養成神童，那麼他們很可能會對學習失去所有興趣。父母給孩子安排的課後俱樂部、活動和私人課程越多，孩子長大後性格呆板的可能性就越大。
The influence of balanced forces can be seen especially clearly in children because children tend to be more sensitive to energy than adults and behave more naturally. If a child is praised too much they will start being deliberately naughty. Children lose respect for and even end up despising adults that let the child twist them around their little finger. If a parent does all they can to turn their little boy into a well brought up goody-two-shoes, the child will probably end up breaking out and getting involved with some kind of street gang. If a parent tries to create a wunderkind out of their child the likelihood is that they will loose all interest in their studies. The more the parent burdens the child with after school clubs, activities and private lessons, the more likely the child is to grow up with a dull personality.
8/15
培養孩子的最佳原則是對待孩子（不僅僅是對待孩子）就像他們是客人一樣，即給予他們關注、尊重和"選擇"(Choice)的自由，而不創造過剩潛力，也不讓他們掌控局面或讓你的生活變得痛苦。這種關係應建立在你也是這個世界上的客人這一類比之上。如果你接受遊戲規則而不走極端，你將可以自由選擇這個世界上存在的一切。
The best principle in bringing up children is to behave towards the child (and not only towards children) as if they were guests, i.e., giving them attention, respect and freedom of choice, without creating excess potential and without letting them run the show or make your life a misery. The relationship should be constructed on the analogy that you too are no more than a guest in this world. If you accept the rules of the game without going to extremes, you will be free to choose from all that exists in this world.
9/15
健康的關係和不健康的關係一樣普遍，兩者的存在有一定的平衡。仇恨存在，愛也存在。健康平衡關係的特點是它不會產生過剩潛力。當評估在名義價值方面存在明顯偏見時，潛力就會出現。評估是相對的。在扭曲的尺度上，零可以被視為無條件的愛。如你所知，無條件的愛不支持依賴關係，也不會創造過剩潛力。然而，這種愛極為罕見。通常，佔有、依賴和過度評價混合在愛的容器中。很難抵擋佔有欲的感覺，並且很自然地想知道你擁有你所愛的人，只要事情不走向兩個極端之一。
Healthy relationships are as common as unhealthy relationships and there is a certain balance in the existence of both. Hate exists and so does love. A quality of a healthy balanced relationship is that it does not produce excess potential. Potential emerges when there is a noticeable bias in an assessment with regards to the nominal value. Evaluations are relative. On the scale of distortion, zero can be considered unconditional love. As you know, unconditional love does not support dependent relationships, nor does it create excess potential. This kind of love however, is extremely rare. Normally, possession, dependence and overvaluation are mixed into love’s vessel. It is difficult to resist feelings of possessiveness and quite natural that one should want to know that you have the person you love, as long as things do not go to one of two extremes.
10/15
第一個極端是想要擁有你所愛之物的慾望，即使那個人只與你有模糊的聯繫，甚至可能不知道你的願望（當然，你明白我不僅僅是在談論擁有的物理層面）。這就是單戀的經典案例，總是導致許多痛苦。然而，這裡的機制並不像你想像的那麼簡單。記住花的比喻。你喜歡在花叢中漫步，欣賞它們的美麗，你可能會想知道它們是否也愛你。現在試著想像花對你的看法。各種奇怪的想法會進入你的腦海，如恐懼、焦慮、厭惡、冷漠。你可能會想，花有什麼理由愛你。也許你非常想把它們握在手中，但你不能，因為它們生長在花壇中或待售但非常昂貴。在這個階段，所經歷的不再是愛，而是依賴，隨之而來的是負面情緒的侵入。
The first extreme is the desire to possess the object of your love if that person is only vaguely associated with you and might not even suspect your desires (of course, you understand that I am not only talking about the physical aspect of possession). This is what happens in the classical case of unrequited love which always leads to much suffering. However, the mechanism at play here is not quite as simple as you might think. Remember the flower metaphor. You love to wander among the flowers, admiring their beauty and you may have wondered whether they love you too. Now try to imagine what the flowers think of you. All sorts of strange ideas will enter your mind such as fear, anxiety, dislike, indifference. You may wonder what reason the flowers could have to love you. Perhaps you desperately want to hold them in your hand but you cannot because they are growing in a flowerbed or are for sale but are very expensive. What one experiences at this stage is no longer love but dependency and with that, negative emotions begin to creep in.
11/15
所以，你在一個地方，而你所愛的對象在另一個地方，你希望你所愛的對象與你在一起，也就是說，你正在創造能量潛力。有人可能認為過剩潛力會像氣流從高壓區移向低壓區一樣將所需的對象吸引到你身邊，但事情並不是這樣運作的。對於平衡力來說，使用什麼方法來重新建立平衡並不重要，因此它們可能會將你所愛的對象放在離你更遠的地方，從而中和過剩潛力，同時也打破你的心。如果在愛情中稍有失望的跡象，一個人傾向於用“夢中情人不愛我”的想法來加劇情況，他們將被拉向那些回應愛情稀少的"生命線"(life lines)。
So, you are in one place and the object of your love is in another and you would like to have the object of your love with you, i.e., you are creating energetic potential. One might think that excess potential would draw the desired object to you like air mass that shifts from an area of high to low pressure but that is not how things work at all. It makes no difference to balanced forces what method is used to re-establish equilibrium, and so they may place the object of your love at an either further distance from you thereby neutralizing the excess potential and breaking your heart at the same time. If, at the slightest sign of disappointment in love, person is inclined to dramatise the situation even more with thoughts that the person of their dreams does not love them they will be pulled towards life lines where reciprocated love is a rare phenomenon.
12/15
你對擁有某物或經歷回應愛的渴望越強烈，平衡力的行動就越強烈。當然，如果它們選擇了一條讓你和你所愛的人更接近的路，那麼故事將有一個幸福的結局。平衡力最終將採取的方向可以在一開始就輕鬆確定。如果你被需要感情相互的想法所困擾，而一切似乎都不順利，你需要改變策略。試著愛而不期待回報。如果你這樣做，平衡力的不穩定振動可以被拉近並為你工作；否則，情況可能會失控，直到幾乎無法改變任何事情。
The stronger your desire to have something or to experience reciprocated love the stronger the action taken by balanced forces will be. Of course, if they choose a path that brings you and your loved one closer together then the story will have a happy ending. The direction balanced forces will ultimately take can easily be determined at the very outset. If you are preoccupied or obsessed with the need for your feelings to be mutual and yet nothing seems to be going right, you need to change your tactics. Try loving without expectation of reward. If you do this the unstable vibrations of balanced forces can be drawn closer and made to work for you; otherwise the situation may go snowballing out of control until it is practically impossible to change anything.
13/15
在這種情況下，只有一個解決方案。如果你希望你的愛是相互的，你必須單純地愛，而不考慮你是否被愛。首先，採用這種方法可以避免創造過剩潛力，這意味著避免了平衡力對你不利的50%概率。其次，當你不被感情是否會得到回應的想法所困擾時，你就不會被單戀的戲劇性和失控的想法拉入相應的"生命線"(life lines)。正好相反；如果你單純地愛，不考慮佔有，就可以避免依賴，而你所輻射的能量參數將對應於那些回應愛存在的"生命線"(life lines)。如果你已經發現了回應的愛，那麼你就沒有理由擔心擁有和佔有的問題。想像一下，放棄佔有他們的想法會大大增加你接近所愛之人的機會。此外，無條件的愛是一種非常罕見且吸引人的品質，如果你能體現它，你將自動吸引人們靠近你。難道你不會被一個單純因為愛而愛你而不要求回報的人吸引嗎？
There is only one solution in a situation like this. If you want your love to be mutual you have to love simply without thought of whether you are loved or not. Firstly, in taking this approach you avoid creating excess potential which means that the fifty percent probability that the forces will work against you is avoided. Secondly, when you are not obsessed with the idea of whether your feelings will be reciprocated, you are free of the dramatic and uncontrolled thoughts about unrequited love that pull you into corresponding life lines. Quite the opposite; if you simply love, without thought of possession, dependency is avoided and the parameters of the energy you radiate will correspond with those life lines where requited love exits. If you have already discovered requited love then you have no reason to be concerned with the issue of ownership and possession. Imagine how greatly your chances of being close to the one you love will increase for having given up the notion of possessing them. Besides, unconditional love is very rare and attractive quality and so if you can embody it you will automatically draw people to you. Would you not be drawn towards a person who loved you simply for the sake of it without demanding anything in return?
14/15
第二個極端涉及所有權的權利，這當然是嫉妒。在這種情況下，平衡力有兩種潛在的行動方式。如果你已經與你所愛的人建立了關係，那麼第一種行動方式就是讓你們更接近。有些人喜歡在他們的關係中加入嫉妒的元素。另一種選擇是讓平衡力摧毀引起嫉妒的任何事物，即愛本身。在這種情況下，嫉妒越強烈，它為共享愛挖的墳墓就越深。愛的動態表現為嫉妒，就像從單純品味野花的香氣轉變為想要製作香水一樣。
The second extreme concerns the right to ownership, which is of course jealousy. In this case balanced forces have two potential means of action. If you are already in a relationship with the person you love then the first means of action is to being you even closer together. Some people enjoy an element of jealousy in their relationship. The other option is for balanced forces to destroy whatever gave rise to the jealousy, i.e. the love itself. In this case, the stronger the jealousy the deeper the grave it digs for the love being shared in the relationship. The dynamics of love which becomes expressed as jealousy are just the same as the shift from simply savouring the aroma of the wild flowers to wanting to produce perfume.
15/15
以上所有內容對女性和男性同樣適用，但這不是對此事的最終結論。我們將在稍後研究支持Transurfing的其他概念時回到這個問題。一切都如此簡單，但同時又如此複雜；複雜是因為戀愛中的人失去了理性思考的能力，因此上述建議可能會被拋諸腦後。然而，我不會因為這些事情而感到不安，因為我抗拒讀者認可的需求。
All of the above relates as much to women as it does to men, but this is not the final word on the matter. We will return to this question later when we look at the other concepts that underpin Transurfing. Everything is so simple and yet at the same time so complex; complex because a person in love loses their ability to rationalise and so the recommendations above will probably fall to the wayside. I shall not however, upset myself with these things because I resist the need for the reader’s recognition.
理想化與過高評價
Idealization and Overvaluation
1/15
過高評價是指一個人被想像為具有他們實際上並未體現的品質。在某個層面上，頭腦的幻覺是無害的。然而，在能量層面上，它們會產生過剩潛能 (Excess Potential)，因為只要存在數量或質量的波動，就會創造潛能。過高評價是將品質投射和集中在實際不存在的地方。理想化有兩種類型。在第一種類型中，一個個體被描繪為具有完全不具備的品質。為了消除能量場中的不均勻性，平衡力量 (Balanced Forces) 必須創造某種反作用力。
Overvaluation is when a person is imagined to have qualities they do not in fact embody. On one level the illusions of the mind are quite harmless. On the energetic level however, they generate excess potential because potential is created wherever there is a flux in quantity or quality. Overvaluation is a projection and concentration of qualities there where they are not present in reality. There are two types of idealization. In the first type an individual is portrayed as having qualities which are in fact totally uncharacteristic. In order to eliminate the resulting inhomogeneity in the energy field, balanced forces have to create some kind of counter force.
2/15
例如，一個夢幻而浪漫的年輕人為他心愛的人創造了一個精神形象，將她描繪為純美天使。實際上，這位年輕女子是一個腳踏實地的個體，喜歡玩樂，對分享這位癡情年輕人的夢想毫無興趣。無論情況如何，當一個人將另一個人塑造成偶像並置於高台上時，迷思遲早會被揭穿，必要的幻滅隨之而來。
For example, a dreamy and romantic young man creates a mental image of his beloved, portraying her as an angel of pure beauty. In reality it turns out that the young women in question is a grounded individual, who loves having a good time and shows no interest in sharing the dreams of the love-struck young man. Whatever the circumstances, when a person creates an idol of another and places them on a pedestal, the myth will sooner or later be debunked and the necessary disillusionment follows.
3/15
在這個背景下，作家卡爾·邁（Karl May）的故事頗為引人注目。邁是一些以美國舊西部為背景的冒險小說的作者，以溫尼圖（Winnetou）和老碎手（Old Shatterhand）等角色而聞名。邁的小說以第一人稱敘述風格撰寫，給人一種他親自參與了書中描繪事件的印象，從而贏得了極大的讚賞。邁的作品生動豐富如電影，因此讀者很可能認為故事是真實的記述。邁的情節如此激動人心，他被譽為“德國的大仲馬”。
In this context the story of the writer Karl May is quite remarkable. May was the author of some popular adventure novels set in the American Old West and best known for the characters of Winnetou and Old Shatterhand. May’s novels were written in the style of first person narrator, creating the impression that he had personally participated in the events portrayed in his books, thereby earning great admiration. May’s works are as vivid and rich as a film and so the reader could well assume that the story was a factual account. May’s plots were so exciting that he was dubbed ‘the German Dumas’.
4/15
許多卡爾·邁的粉絲將這位作家與著名的牛仔老碎手等同起來。他的崇拜者幾乎不可能有不同的想法；畢竟，他們找到了一個崇拜和模仿的對象，而且這個人就在附近，這使得他的形象更加強大。想像他們的驚訝，當宣佈卡爾·邁從未去過美國，且一些作品是在他服刑期間寫成的。迷思被揭穿，幻覺破滅，作家之前的粉絲變成了他的批評者。誰該負責？畢竟，讀者自己創造了偶像，並隨之創造了依賴關係 (Dependent Relationships)：“是的，你是我們的英雄，但前提是這本書是真實的故事。”
Numerous Karl May fans identified the writer with the famous cowboy Old Shatterhand. His admirers could hardly have considered any different; after all, they had found an object of admiration and imitation, and one who lived close by, making his persona even more powerful. Imagine their surprise when it was announced that Karl May had never even visited America, and some of the works had been written during his time in prison. The myth was debunked, the illusion dispelled, and the writer’s former fans became his execrators. Who was to blame? After all, the readers created the idol themselves and along with it, a dependent relationship: “Yes, you are our hero, but only if the book is a real life story”.
5/15
在第二種類型的理想化中，一個人的注意力不是集中在具有虛幻品質的人身上，而是在玫瑰色的夢想和空中樓閣上。夢想者生活在雲端，作為逃避生活現實醜陋的方式。顯然，這種情況會創造出過剩潛能 (Excess Potential)。為了拆除空中樓閣，平衡力量 (Balanced Forces) 使浪漫的個體面對嚴酷的現實。即使這個人能夠以他們的想法吸引數百人，從而創造一個獨立的擺錘 (Pendulum)，這個烏托邦也會有缺陷，因為它基於過剩潛能的偏見。遲早，平衡力量會停止擺錘的搖擺。
In the second type of idealization, a person’s attention is focused not on a person with illusory qualities but on rose-tinted dreams and castles in the air. The dreamer lives with their head in the clouds as a way of escaping the ugliness of the reality of life. Obviously, excess potential is created in this situation. To tear down the castles in the air, balanced forces make the romantic individual face harsh reality. Even if the person in question is capable of distracting hundreds with their idea, thereby creating a separate pendulum, the utopia will be flawed because it is based on the bias of excess potential. Sooner or later balanced forces will stop the pendulum’s sway.
6/15
這是另一個例子，說明被過高評價的對象如何作為理想存在。一位女性在想像她理想的丈夫會是什麼樣子。她越說服自己未來的丈夫必須是某種類型，創造的過剩潛能 (Excess Potential) 就越強。過剩潛能只能通過一個體現與女性想要在伴侶中找到的品質完全相反的人來中和。當她遇到某人並後來發現他們的真實面目時，這位女性會問自己她“怎麼會這麼盲目”。相反的情況也可能發生。如果一位女性專注於她多麼討厭男人的醉酒和粗魯，她可能會陷入與酗酒者或辱罵她的男人建立關係的陷阱。經常，人們發現他們必須應對他們完全無法接受的事情，因為除了創造過剩潛能外，他們的思想能量以不接受的頻率輻射。生活常常將完全不同且看似完全不兼容的人聚在一起。平衡力量 (Balanced Forces) 將具有相反潛能品質的人聚在一起，以這種方式力求中和由一方或另一方創造的不平衡。
Here is another example of how an overvalued object exists as an ideal. A woman is imagining what her ideal husband would look like. The more she convinces herself that her future husband must be of a certain type the stronger the excess potential that is created. The excess potential can only be neutralized by a person who embodies qualities which are the exact opposite of what the women wanted to find in her partner. When she meets someone and later discovers what they are really like, the woman asks herself how she “could have been so blind”. The opposite can also occur. If a woman focuses on how much she hates drunkenness and rudeness in a man she may fall into the trap of building a relationship with an alcoholic or a man who bad mouths her. Often people find they have to deal with the things they find totally unacceptable because in addition to creating excess potential their thought energy radiates at the frequency of their non-acceptance. Life often brings people together who are very different and who would appear to be totally incompatible. Balanced forces bring people together who have opposite qualities of potential, in that way striving to neutralize the imbalance created by one or the other.
7/15
平衡力量 (Balanced Forces) 的影響在兒童身上尤其明顯，因為兒童比成人對能量更敏感，且行為更自然。如果過分誇獎一個孩子，他們會故意調皮搗蛋。孩子會失去對那些任由他們擺布的成人的尊重，甚至鄙視他們。如果父母竭盡全力將他們的小男孩培養成一個循規蹈矩的乖乖男孩，這個孩子很可能會叛逆並加入某種街頭幫派。如果父母試圖將孩子培養成神童，孩子很可能對學習失去興趣。父母給孩子安排的課外俱樂部、活動和私人課程越多，孩子長大後個性越可能變得平淡無奇。
The influence of balanced forces can be seen especially clearly in children because children tend to be more sensitive to energy than adults and behave more naturally. If a child is praised too much they will start being deliberately naughty. Children lose respect for and even end up despising adults that let the child twist them around their little finger. If a parent does all they can to turn their little boy into a well brought up goody-two-shoes, the child will probably end up breaking out and getting involved with some kind of street gang. If a parent tries to create a wunderkind out of their child the likelihood is that they will loose all interest in their studies. The more the parent burdens the child with after school clubs, activities and private lessons, the more likely the child is to grow up with a dull personality.
8/15
養育孩子的最佳原則是對待孩子（不僅限於孩子）如同對待客人，即給予他們關注、尊重和選擇自由 (Choice)，不創造過剩潛能 (Excess Potential)，也不讓他們掌控局面或讓你的生活變得痛苦。這種關係應建立在你也是這個世界客人的類比上。如果你接受遊戲規則而不走極端，你將能自由選擇 (Choice) 這個世界上存在的一切。
The best principle in bringing up children is to behave towards the child (and not only towards children) as if they were guests, i.e., giving them attention, respect and freedom of choice, without creating excess potential and without letting them run the show or make your life a misery. The relationship should be constructed on the analogy that you too are no more than a guest in this world. If you accept the rules of the game without going to extremes, you will be free to choose from all that exists in this world.
9/15
健康的關係與不健康的關係同樣普遍，兩者的存在有某種平衡 (Balanced Forces)。仇恨存在，愛也存在。健康平衡關係的特質是不產生過剩潛能 (Excess Potential)。當評估相對於名義價值有明顯偏見時，潛能會出現。評估是相對的。在扭曲的尺度上，零可以被視為無條件的愛。如你所知，無條件的愛不支持依賴關係 (Dependent Relationships)，也不創造過剩潛能。這種愛極為罕見。通常，佔有、依賴和過高評價會混雜在愛的容器中。抗拒佔有欲很難，且希望知道你擁有你愛的人是很自然的，只要事情不走向兩個極端之一。
Healthy relationships are as common as unhealthy relationships and there is a certain balance in the existence of both. Hate exists and so does love. A quality of a healthy balanced relationship is that it does not produce excess potential. Potential emerges when there is a noticeable bias in an assessment with regards to the nominal value. Evaluations are relative. On the scale of distortion, zero can be considered unconditional love. As you know, unconditional love does not support dependent relationships, nor does it create excess potential. This kind of love however, is extremely rare. Normally, possession, dependence and overvaluation are mixed into love’s vessel. It is difficult to resist feelings of possessiveness and quite natural that one should want to know that you have the person you love, as long as things do not go to one of two extremes.
10/15
第一個極端是渴望佔有你的愛的對象，如果那個人與你只有模糊的聯繫，甚至可能不知道你的渴望（當然，你明白我說的不僅僅是佔有的身體面向）。這是單相思的經典案例，總是帶來很多痛苦。然而，這裡的機制並不像你想像的那麼簡單。回想花的隱喻。你愛在花叢中漫步，欣賞它們的美麗，你可能想知道它們是否也愛你。現在試著想像花對你的想法。你腦海中會出現各種奇怪的想法，如恐懼、焦慮、厭惡、冷漠。你可能會想花有什麼理由愛你。或許你拼命想將它們握在手中，但你不能，因為它們長在花壇裡或正在出售但價格昂貴。在這個階段，你體驗的不再是愛，而是依賴 (Dependent Relationships)，負面情緒開始悄悄潛入。
The first extreme is the desire to possess the object of your love if that person is only vaguely associated with you and might not even suspect your desires (of course, you understand that I am not only talking about the physical aspect of possession). This is what happens in the classical case of unrequited love which always leads to much suffering. However, the mechanism at play here is not quite as simple as you might think. Remember the flower metaphor. You love to wander among the flowers, admiring their beauty and you may have wondered whether they love you too. Now try to imagine what the flowers think of you. All sorts of strange ideas will enter your mind such as fear, anxiety, dislike, indifference. You may wonder what reason the flowers could have to love you. Perhaps you desperately want to hold them in your hand but you cannot because they are growing in a flowerbed or are for sale but are very expensive. What one experiences at this stage is no longer love but dependency and with that, negative emotions begin to creep in.
11/15
所以，你在一個地方，你的愛的對象在另一個地方，你想讓你的愛的對象與你同在，即你正在創造能量潛能。人們可能認為過剩潛能 (Excess Potential) 會像氣團從高壓區移向低壓區一樣將你渴望的對象拉向你，但事情完全不是這樣運作的。平衡力量 (Balanced Forces) 不關心用什麼方法重新建立平衡，因此它們可能將你的愛的對象置於更遠的地方，從而中和過剩潛能，同時傷你的心。如果在愛情中稍有失望的徵兆，一個人傾向於更誇張地渲染情況，認為他們夢想的人不愛他們，他們會被拉向相應愛很少的人生線 (Life Line)。
So, you are in one place and the object of your love is in another and you would like to have the object of your love with you, i.e., you are creating energetic potential. One might think that excess potential would draw the desired object to you like air mass that shifts from an area of high to low pressure but that is not how things work at all. It makes no difference to balanced forces what method is used to re-establish equilibrium, and so they may place the object of your love at an either further distance from you thereby neutralizing the excess potential and breaking your heart at the same time. If, at the slightest sign of disappointment in love, person is inclined to dramatise the situation even more with thoughts that the person of their dreams does not love them they will be pulled towards life lines where reciprocated love is a rare phenomenon.
12/15
你越強烈地渴望擁有某物或體驗相應的愛，平衡力量 (Balanced Forces) 的行動就越強烈。當然，如果它們選擇一條將你與你愛的人拉近的道路，故事將有個幸福的結局。平衡力量最終採取的方向在開始時就能輕易確定。如果你專注或執迷於你的感情必須得到回報，但事情似乎都不順利，你需要改變策略。試著不期望回報地去愛。如果你這樣做，平衡力量的不穩定振動可以被拉近並為你服務；否則，情況可能會像滾雪球般失控，直到幾乎無法改變任何事情。
The stronger your desire to have something or to experience reciprocated love the stronger the action taken by balanced forces will be. Of course, if they choose a path that brings you and your loved one closer together then the story will have a happy ending. The direction balanced forces will ultimately take can easily be determined at the very outset. If you are preoccupied or obsessed with the need for your feelings to be mutual and yet nothing seems to be going right, you need to change your tactics. Try loving without expectation of reward. If you do this the unstable vibrations of balanced forces can be drawn closer and made to work for you; otherwise the situation may go snowballing out of control until it is practically impossible to change anything.
13/15
在這種情況下只有一個解決方案。如果你想讓你的愛得到回報，你必須單純地愛，不去想你是否被愛。首先，採取這種方法，你避免創造過剩潛能 (Excess Potential)，這意味著平衡力量反對你的50%可能性被避免。其次，當你不執迷於你的感情是否會得到回報，你就擺脫了關於單相思的戲劇性和不受控制的思想，這些思想會將你拉向相應的人生線。相反，如果你單純地愛，不考慮佔有，依賴 (Dependent Relationships) 就被避免，你輻射的能量參數將與相應愛存在的人生線 (Life Line) 相對應。如果你已經發現了相應的愛，那麼你就無需擔心佔有和擁有的問題。想像一下，放棄佔有他們的觀念，你與你愛的人親近的機會將大大增加。此外，無條件的愛是一種非常罕見且吸引人的品質，因此如果你能體現它，你會自動吸引人們靠近你。你會不會被一個單純為了愛你而不求回報的人所吸引？
There is only one solution in a situation like this. If you want your love to be mutual you have to love simply without thought of whether you are loved or not. Firstly, in taking this approach you avoid creating excess potential which means that the fifty percent probability that the forces will work against you is avoided. Secondly, when you are not obsessed with the idea of whether your feelings will be reciprocated, you are free of the dramatic and uncontrolled thoughts about unrequited love that pull you into corresponding life lines. Quite the opposite; if you simply love, without thought of possession, dependency is avoided and the parameters of the energy you radiate will correspond with those life lines where requited love exits. If you have already discovered requited love then you have no reason to be concerned with the issue of ownership and possession. Imagine how greatly your chances of being close to the one you love will increase for having given up the notion of possessing them. Besides, unconditional love is very rare and attractive quality and so if you can embody it you will automatically draw people to you. Would you not be drawn towards a person who loved you simply for the sake of it without demanding anything in return?
14/15
第二個極端涉及所有權，即嫉妒。在這種情況下，平衡力量 (Balanced Forces) 有兩種潛在的行動方式。如果你已經與你愛的人建立了關係，第一種行動方式是將你們拉得更近。有些人在他們的關係中享受一點嫉妒的元素。另一種選擇是平衡力量摧毀引起嫉妒的東西，即愛本身。在這種情況下，嫉妒越強烈，愛在關係中分享的墳墓就挖得越深。愛的動態轉變為嫉妒，就像從單純品味野花的芬芳轉向想製作香水的轉變。
The second extreme concerns the right to ownership, which is of course jealousy. In this case balanced forces have two potential means of action. If you are already in a relationship with the person you love then the first means of action is to being you even closer together. Some people enjoy an element of jealousy in their relationship. The other option is for balanced forces to destroy whatever gave rise to the jealousy, i.e. the love itself. In this case, the stronger the jealousy the deeper the grave it digs for the love being shared in the relationship. The dynamics of love which becomes expressed as jealousy are just the same as the shift from simply savouring the aroma of the wild flowers to wanting to produce perfume.
15/15
以上所述對女性和男性同樣適用，但這不是最終的結論。我們將在後面探討支撐Transurfing的其他概念時回到這個問題。一切如此簡單同時又如此複雜；複雜是因為戀愛中的人失去理性能力，因此上面的建議可能會被置之不理。然而，我不會為此感到不安，因為我抗拒對讀者認可的需要。
All of the above relates as much to women as it does to men, but this is not the final word on the matter. We will return to this question later when we look at the other concepts that underpin Transurfing. Everything is so simple and yet at the same time so complex; complex because a person in love loses their ability to rationalise and so the recommendations above will probably fall to the wayside. I shall not however, upset myself with these things because I resist the need for the reader’s recognition.
理想化與高估
Idealization and Overvaluation
1/15
高估是指一個人被想像成擁有他們實際上並不具備的特質。在一個層面上，心靈的幻覺是相當無害的。然而，在能量層面上，它們會產生過剩潛力，因為在數量或質量的變化中，潛力就會被創造出來。高估是一種投射和集中在現實中並不存在的特質上。理想化有兩種類型。在第一種類型中，一個人被描繪成擁有實際上完全不特徵的特質。為了消除能量場中產生的不均勻性，平衡力量必須創造某種反作用力。
Overvaluation is when a person is imagined to have qualities they do not in fact embody. On one level the illusions of the mind are quite harmless. On the energetic level however, they generate excess potential because potential is created wherever there is a flux in quantity or quality. Overvaluation is a projection and concentration of qualities there where they are not present in reality. There are two types of idealization. In the first type an individual is portrayed as having qualities which are in fact totally uncharacteristic. In order to eliminate the resulting inhomogeneity in the energy field, balanced forces have to create some kind of counter force.
2/15
例如，一個夢幻而浪漫的年輕人創造了他心愛之人的心理形象，將她描繪成純粹美麗的天使。實際上，這位年輕女性是一個腳踏實地的人，喜歡享受生活，對與這位愛戀中的年輕人分享夢想毫無興趣。無論情況如何，當一個人創造另一個人的偶像並將其置於神壇上時，這個神話遲早會被揭穿，隨之而來的是必要的幻滅。
For example, a dreamy and romantic young man creates a mental image of his beloved, portraying her as an angel of pure beauty. In reality it turns out that the young women in question is a grounded individual, who loves having a good time and shows no interest in sharing the dreams of the love-struck young man. Whatever the circumstances, when a person creates an idol of another and places them on a pedestal, the myth will sooner or later be debunked and the necessary disillusionment follows.
3/15
在這個背景下，作家卡爾·邁的故事相當引人注目。邁是一些以美國西部為背景的流行冒險小說的作者，最著名的角色是維尼圖和老沙特漢。邁的小說以第一人稱敘述的風格寫成，創造了他親自參與書中所描繪事件的印象，因此贏得了極大的讚賞。邁的作品如同電影般生動而豐富，因此讀者可能會認為這個故事是事實的敘述。邁的情節如此激動人心，以至於他被稱為“德國的仲馬”。
In this context the story of the writer Karl May is quite remarkable. May was the author of some popular adventure novels set in the American Old West and best known for the characters of Winnetou and Old Shatterhand. May’s novels were written in the style of first person narrator, creating the impression that he had personally participated in the events portrayed in his books, thereby earning great admiration. May’s works are as vivid and rich as a film and so the reader could well assume that the story was a factual account. May’s plots were so exciting that he was dubbed ‘the German Dumas’.
4/15
許多卡爾·邁的粉絲將這位作家與著名的牛仔老沙特漢認同。他的崇拜者幾乎不可能有不同的看法；畢竟，他們找到了崇拜和模仿的對象，而且這個人就生活在附近，使他的形象更具力量。想像一下當宣布卡爾·邁從未去過美國，且一些作品是在他入獄期間寫的時，他們的驚訝。神話被揭穿，幻覺被打破，作家的前粉絲變成了他的詛咒者。誰該負責？畢竟，讀者自己創造了偶像，並隨之而來的是一種依賴關係：“是的，你是我們的英雄，但只有當這本書是真實故事時”。
Numerous Karl May fans identified the writer with the famous cowboy Old Shatterhand. His admirers could hardly have considered any different; after all, they had found an object of admiration and imitation, and one who lived close by, making his persona even more powerful. Imagine their surprise when it was announced that Karl May had never even visited America, and some of the works had been written during his time in prison. The myth was debunked, the illusion dispelled, and the writer’s former fans became his execrators. Who was to blame? After all, the readers created the idol themselves and along with it, a dependent relationship: “Yes, you are our hero, but only if the book is a real life story”.
5/15
在第二種類型的理想化中，一個人的注意力不是集中在擁有幻影特質的人身上，而是集中在玫瑰色的夢想和空中樓閣上。夢想者生活在雲端，以此逃避現實生活的醜陋。顯然，在這種情況下會產生過剩潛力。為了摧毀空中樓閣，平衡力量使浪漫的個體面對嚴酷的現實。即使相關的人能夠用他們的想法吸引數百人，從而創造出一個獨立的擺動，烏托邦也會因為基於過剩潛力的偏見而存在缺陷。遲早，平衡力量將停止擺動的擺動。
In the second type of idealization, a person’s attention is focused not on a person with illusory qualities but on rose-tinted dreams and castles in the air. The dreamer lives with their head in the clouds as a way of escaping the ugliness of the reality of life. Obviously, excess potential is created in this situation. To tear down the castles in the air, balanced forces make the romantic individual face harsh reality. Even if the person in question is capable of distracting hundreds with their idea, thereby creating a separate pendulum, the utopia will be flawed because it is based on the bias of excess potential. Sooner or later balanced forces will stop the pendulum’s sway.
6/15
這裡是另一個例子，展示了高估的對象作為理想存在的情況。一位女性想像她理想中的丈夫會是什麼樣子。她越是說服自己未來的丈夫必須是某種類型，創造的過剩潛力就越強。這種過剩潛力只能由一個具備與女性想要在伴侶中找到的特質完全相反的特質的人來中和。當她遇到某人並後來發現他們的真實樣子時，這位女性會問自己她“怎麼會這麼盲目”。相反的情況也可能發生。如果一位女性專注於她多麼討厭一個男人的酗酒和粗魯，她可能會陷入與一個酗酒者或一個對她口出惡言的男人建立關係的陷阱。人們經常發現他們必須面對那些他們認為完全不可接受的事情，因為除了創造過剩潛力外，他們的思想能量以非接受的頻率輻射。生活經常將非常不同且看似完全不相容的人聚在一起。平衡力量將擁有相反潛力特質的人聚在一起，從而努力中和由其中一方或另一方創造的不平衡。
Here is another example of how an overvalued object exists as an ideal. A woman is imagining what her ideal husband would look like. The more she convinces herself that her future husband must be of a certain type the stronger the excess potential that is created. The excess potential can only be neutralized by a person who embodies qualities which are the exact opposite of what the women wanted to find in her partner. When she meets someone and later discovers what they are really like, the woman asks herself how she “could have been so blind”. The opposite can also occur. If a woman focuses on how much she hates drunkenness and rudeness in a man she may fall into the trap of building a relationship with an alcoholic or a man who bad mouths her. Often people find they have to deal with the things they find totally unacceptable because in addition to creating excess potential their thought energy radiates at the frequency of their non-acceptance. Life often brings people together who are very different and who would appear to be totally incompatible. Balanced forces bring people together who have opposite qualities of potential, in that way striving to neutralize the imbalance created by one or the other.
7/15
平衡力量的影響在孩子身上尤其明顯，因為孩子對能量的敏感度往往高於成年人，且行為更自然。如果一個孩子受到過多的讚美，他們會開始故意調皮。孩子會對那些讓他們隨心所欲的成年人失去尊重，甚至最終鄙視他們。如果一位父母竭盡所能地將他們的小男孩培養成一個乖巧的好孩子，這個孩子很可能最終會叛逆，並與某種街頭幫派有關。如果一位父母試圖將他們的孩子打造成神童，那麼他們對學習的興趣可能會完全消失。父母越是給孩子增加課外俱樂部、活動和私人課程的負擔，孩子長大後的個性就越可能變得乏味。
The influence of balanced forces can be seen especially clearly in children because children tend to be more sensitive to energy than adults and behave more naturally. If a child is praised too much they will start being deliberately naughty. Children lose respect for and even end up despising adults that let the child twist them around their little finger. If a parent does all they can to turn their little boy into a well brought up goody-two-shoes, the child will probably end up breaking out and getting involved with some kind of street gang. If a parent tries to create a wunderkind out of their child the likelihood is that they will loose all interest in their studies. The more the parent burdens the child with after school clubs, activities and private lessons, the more likely the child is to grow up with a dull personality.
8/15
養育孩子的最佳原則是對孩子（而不僅僅是對孩子）表現得像對待客人一樣，即給予他們關注、尊重和選擇的自由，而不創造過多潛能，也不讓他們主導一切或讓你的生活變得痛苦。這種關係應該建立在你自己在這個世界上也不過是一位客人的類比上。如果你接受遊戲的規則而不走向極端，你將自由地選擇這個世界上所有存在的事物。
The best principle in bringing up children is to behave towards the child (and not only towards children) as if they were guests, i.e., giving them attention, respect and freedom of choice, without creating excess potential and without letting them run the show or make your life a misery. The relationship should be constructed on the analogy that you too are no more than a guest in this world. If you accept the rules of the game without going to extremes, you will be free to choose from all that exists in this world.
9/15
健康的關係和不健康的關係一樣普遍，兩者的存在之間有一定的平衡。仇恨存在，愛也存在。健康平衡關係的一個特質是它不會產生過多潛能。當對名義價值的評估有明顯偏見時，潛能就會出現。評估是相對的。在扭曲的尺度上，零可以被視為無條件的愛。如你所知，無條件的愛不支持依賴關係，也不會創造過多潛能。然而，這種愛是極其稀有的。通常，佔有、依賴和過度評價會混合進入愛的容器中。抵抗佔有感的情緒是困難的，想要知道自己擁有所愛的人是非常自然的，只要事情不走向兩個極端之一。
Healthy relationships are as common as unhealthy relationships and there is a certain balance in the existence of both. Hate exists and so does love. A quality of a healthy balanced relationship is that it does not produce excess potential. Potential emerges when there is a noticeable bias in an assessment with regards to the nominal value. Evaluations are relative. On the scale of distortion, zero can be considered unconditional love. As you know, unconditional love does not support dependent relationships, nor does it create excess potential. This kind of love however, is extremely rare. Normally, possession, dependence and overvaluation are mixed into love’s vessel. It is difficult to resist feelings of possessiveness and quite natural that one should want to know that you have the person you love, as long as things do not go to one of two extremes.
10/15
第一個極端是想要擁有你所愛的對象，如果那個人與你只有模糊的聯繫，甚至可能不會懷疑你的願望（當然，你明白我不僅僅是在談論佔有的物理層面）。這就是經典的單戀案例，這總是會導致許多痛苦。然而，這裡的機制並不像你想的那麼簡單。記住花的隱喻。你喜歡在花叢中漫遊，欣賞它們的美麗，你可能會想知道它們是否也愛你。現在試著想像花對你的看法。各種奇怪的想法會進入你的腦海，例如恐懼、焦慮、不喜歡、冷漠。你可能會想知道花有什麼理由愛你。也許你非常想把它們握在手中，但你無法這樣做，因為它們在花壇中生長或是待售但價格非常昂貴。在這個階段所經歷的已經不再是愛，而是依賴，隨之而來的負面情緒開始潛入。
The first extreme is the desire to possess the object of your love if that person is only vaguely associated with you and might not even suspect your desires (of course, you understand that I am not only talking about the physical aspect of possession). This is what happens in the classical case of unrequited love which always leads to much suffering. However, the mechanism at play here is not quite as simple as you might think. Remember the flower metaphor. You love to wander among the flowers, admiring their beauty and you may have wondered whether they love you too. Now try to imagine what the flowers think of you. All sorts of strange ideas will enter your mind such as fear, anxiety, dislike, indifference. You may wonder what reason the flowers could have to love you. Perhaps you desperately want to hold them in your hand but you cannot because they are growing in a flowerbed or are for sale but are very expensive. What one experiences at this stage is no longer love but dependency and with that, negative emotions begin to creep in.
11/15
所以，你在一個地方，而你所愛的對象在另一個地方，你希望擁有你所愛的對象，即你正在創造能量潛能。人們可能會認為過多潛能會像從高壓區轉移到低壓區的氣流一樣將所需的對象吸引到你身邊，但事情並不是這樣運作的。對於平衡力量來說，恢復平衡所使用的方法並沒有區別，因此它們可能會將你所愛的對象放在更遠的地方，從而中和過多潛能，同時也讓你心碎。如果在愛情中出現最輕微的失望跡象，人們傾向於用想法來戲劇化情況，認為他們夢想中的人不愛他們，那麼他們將被拉向回報愛情是稀有現象的生命線。
So, you are in one place and the object of your love is in another and you would like to have the object of your love with you, i.e., you are creating energetic potential. One might think that excess potential would draw the desired object to you like air mass that shifts from an area of high to low pressure but that is not how things work at all. It makes no difference to balanced forces what method is used to re-establish equilibrium, and so they may place the object of your love at an either further distance from you thereby neutralizing the excess potential and breaking your heart at the same time. If, at the slightest sign of disappointment in love, person is inclined to dramatise the situation even more with thoughts that the person of their dreams does not love them they will be pulled towards life lines where reciprocated love is a rare phenomenon.
12/15
你對擁有某物或經歷回報愛的渴望越強烈，平衡力量所採取的行動就會越強烈。當然，如果它們選擇的路徑能讓你和你所愛的人更接近，那麼故事將會有一個幸福的結局。平衡力量最終將採取的方向可以在一開始就輕易確定。如果你過於關注或著迷於你的感情是否會互相回報，而一切似乎都不順利，那麼你需要改變策略。試著在沒有期待回報的情況下去愛。如果你這樣做，平衡力量的不穩定振動可以被拉近並為你所用；否則，情況可能會失控，直到幾乎不可能改變任何事情。
The stronger your desire to have something or to experience reciprocated love the stronger the action taken by balanced forces will be. Of course, if they choose a path that brings you and your loved one closer together then the story will have a happy ending. The direction balanced forces will ultimately take can easily be determined at the very outset. If you are preoccupied or obsessed with the need for your feelings to be mutual and yet nothing seems to be going right, you need to change your tactics. Try loving without expectation of reward. If you do this the unstable vibrations of balanced forces can be drawn closer and made to work for you; otherwise the situation may go snowballing out of control until it is practically impossible to change anything.
13/15
在這種情況下只有一個解決方案。如果你希望你的愛是互相的，你必須簡單地去愛，而不考慮你是否被愛。首先，採取這種方法可以避免創造過多潛能，這意味著避免了力量會對你不利的五十百分比的概率。其次，當你不再執著於你的感情是否會被回報時，你就擺脫了那些將你拉入相應生命線的單戀的戲劇性和不受控制的想法。恰恰相反；如果你只是去愛，而不考慮佔有，依賴就會被避免，你所散發的能量的參數將與那些存在回報愛的生命線相符。如果你已經發現了回報的愛，那麼你就沒有理由去關心擁有和佔有的問題。想像一下，放棄擁有他們的觀念後，你與所愛之人親近的機會將會大大增加。此外，無條件的愛是一種非常稀有且吸引人的特質，因此如果你能體現它，你將自動吸引人們。難道你不會被一個僅僅因為愛你而不要求任何回報的人所吸引嗎？
There is only one solution in a situation like this. If you want your love to be mutual you have to love simply without thought of whether you are loved or not. Firstly, in taking this approach you avoid creating excess potential which means that the fifty percent probability that the forces will work against you is avoided. Secondly, when you are not obsessed with the idea of whether your feelings will be reciprocated, you are free of the dramatic and uncontrolled thoughts about unrequited love that pull you into corresponding life lines. Quite the opposite; if you simply love, without thought of possession, dependency is avoided and the parameters of the energy you radiate will correspond with those life lines where requited love exits. If you have already discovered requited love then you have no reason to be concerned with the issue of ownership and possession. Imagine how greatly your chances of being close to the one you love will increase for having given up the notion of possessing them. Besides, unconditional love is very rare and attractive quality and so if you can embody it you will automatically draw people to you. Would you not be drawn towards a person who loved you simply for the sake of it without demanding anything in return?
14/15
第二個極端涉及擁有權，這當然是嫉妒。在這種情況下，平衡力量有兩種潛在的行動方式。如果你已經與你所愛的人在一起，那麼第一種行動方式是讓你們更親近。有些人喜歡在他們的關係中有一點嫉妒。另一種選擇是平衡力量摧毀引起嫉妒的任何事物，即愛本身。在這種情況下，嫉妒越強烈，對於共享的愛所挖掘的墳墓就越深。愛的動態表現為嫉妒的情況與從單純品味野花的香氣到想要製作香水的轉變是相同的。
The second extreme concerns the right to ownership, which is of course jealousy. In this case balanced forces have two potential means of action. If you are already in a relationship with the person you love then the first means of action is to being you even closer together. Some people enjoy an element of jealousy in their relationship. The other option is for balanced forces to destroy whatever gave rise to the jealousy, i.e. the love itself. In this case, the stronger the jealousy the deeper the grave it digs for the love being shared in the relationship. The dynamics of love which becomes expressed as jealousy are just the same as the shift from simply savouring the aroma of the wild flowers to wanting to produce perfume.
15/15
以上所有內容對女性和男性同樣適用，但這並不是這個問題的最終說法。我們稍後會回到這個問題，當我們研究支撐Transurfing的其他概念時。一切都是如此簡單，但同時又如此複雜；複雜是因為戀愛中的人失去了理性，因此上述建議可能會被忽視。然而，我不會因為這些事情而感到不安，因為我抵抗讀者認可的需求。
All of the above relates as much to women as it does to men, but this is not the final word on the matter. We will return to this question later when we look at the other concepts that underpin Transurfing. Everything is so simple and yet at the same time so complex; complex because a person in love loses their ability to rationalise and so the recommendations above will probably fall to the wayside. I shall not however, upset myself with these things because I resist the need for the reader’s recognition.