世界之蓋

Lid of the World

當Itfut和Matilda在發現鏡子的問題時，另一部電影正在同一時間但不同地點上演。

While Itfut and Matilda were discovering the hitch with the mirror, another movie was playing set in the same time but in a different location.

---

* * *

Eejit Green被鄰居的狗叫聲吵醒。

Eejit Green was woken up by the sound of the neighbor’s dog barking.

奇怪，他想。鄰居的房子一周前燒毀了，狗被餵給魚吃了……也許我想像的。也許我做夢了。我應該去檢查一下我那聰明的腦袋。

Strange, he thought. The neighbor’s house burned down a week ago and the dog was fed to the fish...Maybe I imagined it. Maybe I dreamed it. I should go check my ingenious mind.

Eejit花了很長時間找他的運動鞋，罵它們是狡猾的混蛋，並威脅說一找到就扔掉。運動鞋害怕了，躲了起來。最後，Eejit光著腳走，因為那雙難以捉摸的運動鞋是他唯一的一雙鞋。

Eejit spent a long time looking for his sneakers, called them dodgy bastards and threatened to throw them out as soon as he found them. The sneakers were afraid and hid from him. In the end, Eejit went barefoot as the elusive sneakers were Eejit’s only pair of shoes.

路徑一如既往地穿過森林通向大海。樹木小心翼翼地把枝條從路上移開，因為它們知道最好不要擋Eejit的路。他一如既往地心情不好。

The path, as usual, led through the forest to the sea. The trees turned their branches carefully away from the path as they knew it was better to stay out of Eejit’s way. He was in a bad mood as always.

偏離小路，Eejit來到森林邊緣，那裡矗立著知識樹樁。Eejit經常來這個地方汲取生活的智慧。他只知道一個可以汲取智慧的地方，但一個已經足夠了。

Turning off the path, Eejit came to the edge of the forest where the Stump of Knowledge stood. Eejit often came to this spot to draw on the wisdom of life. He only knew of one place where he could draw on the wise, but one was more than enough.

簡而言之，知識樹樁矗立在空地中央。樹樁中有個空洞，裡面坐著一隻松鼠。Eejit把鼻子伸進空洞，松鼠輕輕彈了Eejit一下。這一下有點延遲，但很到位。Eejit被彈了一下鼻子後說：「每次都是一樣的。生活真是個混蛋。」

In short, the Stump of Knowledge stood in the middle of a clearing. There was a hollow in the stump and in this hollow sat a squirrel. Eejit stuck his nose inside the hollow and the squirrel gave Eejit a flick. It was a good one with a slight delay. Having received the flick on the nose, Eejit stated, “It’s the same thing every time. Life is such a bastard.”

說完，Eejit回到小路上，朝海岸方向走去，邊走邊說：「好吧，我會讓你們都看看。我會讓你們跳舞唱歌。」他這麼說的意思，沒人知道，但他的意圖顯然不太友善。

With that, Eejit returned to the path and made in the direction of the shore, saying: “Okay, I’ll show you all. I’ll make you dance and sing.” What he meant by this; no-one knows but his intentions were clearly far from benevolent.

一到海岸，他除了看海岸線，還環顧海洋和海鷗。海鷗看到Eejit，發出不滿的叫聲。Eejit習慣性地撿起一塊石頭，正要扔出去時改變了主意，喃喃自語：「不，不要屈服於粗俗……或者怎麼說，粗……粗……」

Once on the shore, aside from the coastline, he looked around at the sea and the seagulls. Spotting Eejit, the gulls squawked disapprovingly. Eejit picked up a stone out of habit and was about to throw it when he changed his mind, muttering “No-o-o. Never give in to profanity... or how does it go, pro... pro...

「啊，隨便吧。協調粗俗，這是一個值得遵循的原則。」

Ah, whatever. Coordinating profanity, now there’s a principle worth following.”

對於自己想到的深刻思想感到滿意，他決定沿著海岸散步。海試圖抓住Eejit並惹惱他，但他沒有屈服。「協調粗俗，呵呵……該死！」Eejit咒罵著，絆倒在一個大障礙物上。

Pleased with the depth of thought that had occurred to him, he decided to take a walk along the coast. The sea tried to catch Eejit and annoy him, but he did not succumb. “Coordinating profanity, tee-hee... Damn it!” Eejit cursed stumbling over a large snag.

同時，黃色潛水艇朝他跑來，似乎對某事非常焦急。

At the same time, Yellow Submarine ran towards him and seemed very anxious about something.

「哦，Eejit Green！」她驚訝地喊道。

“Oh, Eejit Green!” she exclaimed in surprise.

「我確實是綠色的，毫無疑問。你為什麼這麼黃又模糊？」他回答，絲毫不覺得尷尬。

“I am green, categorically. Why are you so yellow and vague?” he answered, not at all embarrassed.

「你沒聽說嗎？！他們用蓋子蓋住了世界！」

“Have not you heard?! They’ve covered the world with a lid!”

「什麼蓋子？誰放的，為什麼？你瘋了嗎？」 「抬頭看看，笨蛋！」

“What lid? Who put it there and why? Are you crazy?” “Just look up, dipstick!”

Eejit抬起頭，果然，在應該是無底的天空的地方，懸著一些黑暗而沉重的東西。

Eejit lifted his head and indeed, there where the bottomless sky should have been, hung something dark and heavy-looking.

「橙色奶牛是第一個注意到的，」潛水艇喋喋不休。「她說，現在再也不能飛了！我好擔心，好擔心，全身都癢！我們該怎麼辦？這意味著什麼？」

“Orange Cow was the first to notice,” Submarine babbled. “She says, it’s impossible to fly anymore! I’m so worried, so worried, I’m all itchy! What will become of us? What does it all mean?”

「這意味著你的橙色盛宴結束了，現在是深紫色灰塵的時候了，哈哈。」

“It means your orange feast is over and now the time has come for deep purple dust, ha, ha.”

「但我們該怎麼生活？我們該怎麼辦？」

“But how are we to live? What are we to do?”

Eejit用他的棍子抓了抓頭，說：「是那些猛獁人，我知道是他們。他們是罪魁禍首。但這次他們做得太過分了，該死的爬行動物。」

Eejit scratched his head with his club, and said: “It’s those mammotniks, I know it is. They’re the ones to blame. But they’ve gone too far this time, darn reptiles.”

潛水艇看起來更加驚慌，開始四處亂跑，把自己搞得一團糟。

Submarine looked even more alarmed and started running about getting herself in a muddle.

「哦！他們是誰？他們是邪惡的嗎？他們在反叛嗎？他們會吃掉我們嗎？」

“Oh! Who are they? Are they evil? Are they revolting? Will they eat us?”

「是的，要麼他們吃掉我們，要麼我們吃掉他們。我正要去狩獵。猛獁人必須被驚擾然後消滅，而你要幫我。」

“Yes, either they’ll eat us, or we’ll eat them. I was just about to go hunting. Mammotniks have to be ruffled and then annihilated and you’re going to help me.”

「哦不，我不行，我害怕！」

“Oh no, I can’t, I’m afraid!”

「你想讓蓋子徹底壓碎你嗎？」 「不，不要！」

“Do you want the lid to crush you completely?” “No, no!”

「那我們走吧。別再圍著我轉圈了。」

“Well, let’s get going then. And stop running about and doing cartwheels around me.”

「好吧。我們要去拯救世界了！」

“Okay. We’re off to save the world!”

他們離開海岸線，深入森林。潛水艇不停地問問題。

They turned off the coastal strip and went deeper into the forest. Submarine would not stop asking questions.

「猛獁人是什麼樣的？他野蠻嗎？他可怕嗎？」 「是的，他狡猾而狡詐。」

“What’s a mammotnik like? Is he wild? Is he scary?” “Yes, he’s cunning and crafty.”

「我們要抓住他嗎？」 「是的。」

“Are we going to catch him?” “Yes.”

「捕獵猛獁人困難且危險嗎？」 「是的。」

“Is mammotnik-hunting difficult and dangerous?” “Yes.”

「但我們要去拯救世界！我們要去哪裡？」 「你能安靜一會兒嗎？」

“But we’re going to save the world! Where are we going?” “Could you shut it, just for a minute?”

他們走啊走，最終來到一個地方，有人在一棵枝葉繁茂的樹下挖了一個深坑。

They walked and they walked and eventually arrived at a spot where someone had dug a deep pit beneath a wide-branching tree.

「這是什麼？」潛水艇問。

“What’s this?” asked Submarine.

「一個陷阱。猛獁人會從這裡跑過來，掉進去，然後我們就抓住他。」 「哦，真刺激！」

“A trap. The mammotnik will run along here, fall in and then we’ll seize him.” “Oo-oh, how exciting!”

「我們需要用樹枝和樹葉把它蓋住。」 他們迅速將坑偽裝好，坐下來埋伏，等待著。他們等啊等，但似乎沒有人想跑過來掉進坑裡。

“We need to cover it with branches and leaves.” They quickly disguised the pit, sat down in ambush and waited. They waited and waited but no one seemed to want to run past and fall into the pit.

「我們還要坐多久？」潛水艇問。「嗯，我們需要想辦法把猛獁人引過來，」Eejit回答。「什麼能吸引他？」

“And how much longer are we going to sit here?” asked Submarine. “Hum, we need to somehow lure the mammotnik here,” answered Eejit. “And what might attract him?”

「更多的聲音，更多的情感。」

“More noise, more emotion.”

「好吧，那你怎麼不早說，笨蛋。我們爬上樹，製造大聲響。」

“Well, why did not you say so, dipstick. Let’s climb up the tree and make a loud noise.”

「好吧，我們來吧。」他們爬上樹，放聲高歌，讓整個森林都能聽到。

“Okay, let’s.” Having scrambled up the tree, they belted out a song for the whole forest to hear.

「邊界之上，烏雲陰沉地飄過，大地被嚴重的沉默抓住。沿著阿穆爾的高岸，祖國的衛士們站立著。」¹

‘Above the border, clouds gloomily pass, The land is grasped by a silence severe. Along the high banks of the Amur Guards of the Homeland stand.’¹

他們唱啊唱，然後開始唱另一首歌。

They sang and they sang and then they started on a different song.

「我想要你的愛，我想要你的報復。」

‘I want your love and I want your revenge.

「你我可以寫一段糟糕的浪漫。哦哦哦哦哦！」

You and me could write a bad romance. О-о-о-о-о!

「我想要你的愛和」

I want your love and

「你所有情人的報復。」

All your lovers’ revenge.

「你我可以寫一段糟糕的浪漫。」Z

You and me could write a bad romance.’Z

他們也唱了其他歌，但沒有人來。

They sang other songs, too, but no one came.

「你覺得我們中有一個是傻瓜嗎？或者我們兩個都是？」潛水艇說。

“Do you think one of us might be an idiot? Or both of us, perhaps?” said Submarine.

「情感不夠。但沒關係。我們可以糾正這一點。」

“Not enough emotion. But that’s all right. We can correct that.”

Eejit抓住潛水艇的錨，把它掛在樹枝上，然後用力一推，讓她懸在坑上。

Eejit grabbed Submarine’s anchor, hooked it over a branch, and gave her an almighty shove so that she ended up dangling over the pit.

「你在做什麼？邪惡狡猾的Eejit！立刻放開我！」

“What are you doing? Wicked, crafty Eejit! Untie me this minute!”

「現在事情應該會好轉了，」Eejit滿意地說。然後，他爬下樹，躲在灌木叢中。

“Now things should start looking up,” Eejit noted with satisfaction. Then, he climbed back down the tree and hid in the bushes.

「救命！幫幫我！」潛水艇掛在錨鏈上哭喊著。「Eejit，我會殺了你這個混蛋！」

“Save me! Help!” cried Submarine hanging from the anchor chain. “Eejit, I’ll kill you for this you bastard!”

就在那時，一個陰影出現在坑的邊緣。傳來樹枝斷裂的聲音，然後……

At that very moment, a shadow loomed over the edge of the pit. There was the sound of crashing branches and ...

……有人掉進了陷阱。

…someone fell into the trap.

文字由Boris Laskin撰寫。

Words by Boris Laskin.

Lady Gaga。

Lady Gaga.

世界之蓋

Lid of the World

當Itfut和Matilda正在探索那面鏡子的問題時，另一部電影在同一時間、不同地點上映。

While Itfut and Matilda were discovering the hitch with the mirror, another movie was playing set in the same time but in a different location.

---

* * *

Eejit Green被鄰居狗吠的聲音吵醒了。

Eejit Green was woken up by the sound of the neighbor’s dog barking.

他心想，真怪，鄰居的房子一週前就已經燒掉了，那隻狗也被扔給魚吃了……也許是我幻覺了，也許是我做夢了。我該檢查檢查我那機靈的腦袋。

Strange, he thought. The neighbor’s house burned down a week ago and the dog was fed to the fish...Maybe I imagined it. Maybe I dreamed it. I should go check my ingenious mind.

Eejit花了好長時間找他的運動鞋，還罵它們是可疑的混蛋，一找到就威脅要把它們扔掉。運動鞋似乎很怕他，躲了起來。最終，他只好赤腳走路，因為那雙難以捉摸的鞋是他唯一的一雙鞋。

Eejit spent a long time looking for his sneakers, called them dodgy bastards and threatened to throw them out as soon as he found them. The sneakers were afraid and hid from him. In the end, Eejit went barefoot as the elusive sneakers were Eejit’s only pair of shoes.

像往常一樣，那條小徑穿過森林通向大海。樹木謹慎地將枝條避開小徑，彷彿知道最好別妨礙Eejit。他一如既往地心情不好。

The path, as usual, led through the forest to the sea. The trees turned their branches carefully away from the path as they knew it was better to stay out of Eejit’s way. He was in a bad mood as always.

離開小徑後，Eejit來到了森林邊緣，這裡矗立著「知識之樹樁」。Eejit常來這個地方吸取生活智慧。他只知道只有這一處可以讓他獲得智者的啟迪，而這一處就足夠了。(Note:「知識之樹樁」可理解為吸取知識靈感的象徵之地)

Turning off the path, Eejit came to the edge of the forest where the Stump of Knowledge stood. Eejit often came to this spot to draw on the wisdom of life. He only knew of one place where he could draw on the wise, but one was more than enough.

總之，「知識之樹樁」矗立在一片空地中央。樹樁上有個空洞，裡面棲息著一隻松鼠。Eejit把鼻子伸進那個洞裡，松鼠隨即抽了他一下，力度十足且稍有延遲。鼻子被抽後，Eejit說道：「每次都是這樣，生活真是個混蛋。」

In short, the Stump of Knowledge stood in the middle of a clearing. There was a hollow in the stump and in this hollow sat a squirrel. Eejit stuck his nose inside the hollow and the squirrel gave Eejit a flick. It was a good one with a slight delay. Having received the flick on the nose, Eejit stated, “It’s the same thing every time. Life is such a bastard.”

說完這話，Eejit回到小徑，朝著岸邊走去，邊走邊說：「好吧，我就讓你們看看，我要讓你們跳舞唱歌。」他究竟意欲何為，無人知曉，但他的用心顯然遠非善意。

With that, Eejit returned to the path and made in the direction of the shore, saying: “Okay, I’ll show you all. I’ll make you dance and sing.” What he meant by this; no-one knows but his intentions were clearly far from benevolent.

一到岸邊，除了那綿延的海岸線，他四處打量著大海與海鷗。海鷗見了Eejit後，發出不滿的尖叫。Eejit習慣性地撿起一塊石頭，正準備拋出去，卻又改了主意，喃喃道：「不不不，絕不能屈服於粗口……或怎麼說來，粗……粗口……」

Once on the shore, aside from the coastline, he looked around at the sea and the seagulls. Spotting Eejit, the gulls squawked disapprovingly. Eejit picked up a stone out of habit and was about to throw it when he changed his mind, muttering “No-o-o. Never give in to profanity... or how does it go, pro... pro...

「唉，算了。調和粗口，這倒是個值得遵循的原則。」

Ah, whatever. Coordinating profanity, now there’s a principle worth following.”

對自己剛才那深刻的領悟感到滿意，他決定沿著海岸散步。海浪試圖撲向Eejit惹他生氣，但他毫不屈服。「調和粗口，嘻嘻……他媽的！」Eejit一邊咒罵，一邊跌倒在一根大樹枝上。

Pleased with the depth of thought that had occurred to him, he decided to take a walk along the coast. The sea tried to catch Eejit and annoy him, but he did not succumb. “Coordinating profanity, tee-hee... Damn it!” Eejit cursed stumbling over a large snag.

同時，Yellow Submarine朝他跑來，似乎因什麼事十分焦急。

At the same time, Yellow Submarine ran towards him and seemed very anxious about something.

“哦，Eejit Green!” 她驚訝地叫道。

“Oh, Eejit Green!” she exclaimed in surprise.

「我就是綠色的，絕對的。你怎麼總是那麼黃，又那麼模糊？」 他毫不害臊地回答。

“I am green, categorically. Why are you so yellow and vague?” he answered, not at all embarrassed.

「難道你沒聽說嗎？他們已經用一個蓋子覆蓋了整個世界！」

“Have not you heard?! They’ve covered the world with a lid!”

「什麼蓋子？誰把它放上去的，又為什麼？你瘋了吧？」 「只管抬頭看看，笨蛋！」

“What lid? Who put it there and why? Are you crazy?” “Just look up, dipstick!”

Eejit抬起頭來，果然，在那本應無底的天空處，懸掛著一個陰沉且沉重的物體。

Eejit lifted his head and indeed, there where the bottomless sky should have been, hung something dark and heavy-looking.

「Orange Cow是第一個發現的，」Submarine喃喃道，「她說，現在根本飛不起來了！我好擔心，好擔心，我全身癢得受不了！我們將會怎麼樣？這一切究竟意味著什麼？」

“Orange Cow was the first to notice,” Submarine babbled. “She says, it’s impossible to fly anymore! I’m so worried, so worried, I’m all itchy! What will become of us? What does it all mean?”

「這意味著你們的橙色盛宴結束了，現在該迎來深紫色塵埃的時刻了，哈哈。」

“It means your orange feast is over and now the time has come for deep purple dust, ha, ha.”

「但我們要怎麼生活？我們又該做些什麼？」

“But how are we to live? What are we to do?”

Eejit拿著他的木棒抓了抓頭，說道：「我知道是那些 mammotniks 的錯。全怪他們，但他們這次真是過火了，該死的爬行動物！」

Eejit scratched his head with his club, and said: “It’s those mammotniks, I know it is. They’re the ones to blame. But they’ve gone too far this time, darn reptiles.”

「Submarine看起來更加驚慌，開始亂跑，弄得自己一團糟。」

Submarine looked even more alarmed and started running about getting herself in a muddle.

「哦！他們是誰？他們邪惡嗎？他們令人厭惡嗎？會不會把我們吃了？」

“Oh! Who are they? Are they evil? Are they revolting? Will they eat us?”

「是的，要麼他們會吃我們，要麼我們會吃了他們。我正打算去狩獵。Mammotniks必須先被激怒，然後被徹底殲滅，你得幫我。」

“Yes, either they’ll eat us, or we’ll eat them. I was just about to go hunting. Mammotniks have to be ruffled and then annihilated and you’re going to help me.”

「哦不，我不行，我怕！」

“Oh no, I can’t, I’m afraid!”

「你想讓那個蓋子把你完全壓垮嗎？」 「不，不！」

“Do you want the lid to crush you completely?” “No, no!”

「那好，我們趕快出發吧。而且別再到處亂跑翻跟斗了。」

“Well, let’s get going then. And stop running about and doing cartwheels around me.”

「好，我們出發去拯救世界！」

“Okay. We’re off to save the world!”

他們離開海濱走廊，深入森林，而Submarine卻不停地發問。

They turned off the coastal strip and went deeper into the forest. Submarine would not stop asking questions.

「Mammotnik長得怎樣？他野性十足嗎？嚇人嗎？」 「是的，他狡猾又詭計多端。」

“What’s a mammotnik like? Is he wild? Is he scary?” “Yes, he’s cunning and crafty.”

「我們會抓到他嗎？」 「會。」

“Are we going to catch him?” “Yes.”

「狩獵Mammotnik難不難？危險嗎？」 「是的。」

“Is mammotnik-hunting difficult and dangerous?” “Yes.”

「但我們可是要拯救世界啊！我們到底要去哪裡？」 「你能不能閉嘴，先靜一會兒？」

“But we’re going to save the world! Where are we going?” “Could you shut it, just for a minute?”

他們一路走著，終於來到一處，這裡有人在一棵枝繁葉茂的樹下挖出一個深坑。

They walked and they walked and eventually arrived at a spot where someone had dug a deep pit beneath a wide-branching tree.

「這是什麼？」Submarine問道。

“What’s this?” asked Submarine.

「這是一個陷阱。Mammotnik會從這裡跑過，跌進坑裡，然後我們就把他抓住。」 「喔哦，真令人興奮！」

“A trap. The mammotnik will run along here, fall in and then we’ll seize him.” “Oo-oh, how exciting!”

「我們必須用樹枝和樹葉把這個坑遮起來。」他們迅速把坑偽裝好，伏在一旁等待。等待了許久，似乎沒有人願意跑過來跌進坑中。

“We need to cover it with branches and leaves.” They quickly disguised the pit, sat down in ambush and waited. They waited and waited but no one seemed to want to run past and fall into the pit.

「我們還要在這兒坐多久？」Submarine問道。「嗯，我們得想辦法把那些 mammotniks 引誘過來，」Eejit回答。「那有什麼能吸引他呢？」

“And how much longer are we going to sit here?” asked Submarine. “Hum, we need to somehow lure the mammotnik here,” answered Eejit. “And what might attract him?”

「要更多噪音，要更多情感！」

“More noise, more emotion.”

「好吧，笨蛋，你早就該說這話了。咱們爬上樹，製造出響亮的聲響吧。」

“Well, why did not you say so, dipstick. Let’s climb up the tree and make a loud noise.”

「好，走吧！」他們費力爬上樹後，放聲高唱，讓整個森林都能聽見。

“Okay, let’s.” Having scrambled up the tree, they belted out a song for the whole forest to hear.

『在邊界之上，陰雲低沉地飄過，大地被嚴峻的寂靜籠罩；在阿穆爾高岸上，保衛家園的人們矗立不動。』¹

‘Above the border, clouds gloomily pass, The land is grasped by a silence severe. Along the high banks of the Amur Guards of the Homeland stand.’¹

他們唱了又唱，隨後又換了一首歌。

They sang and they sang and then they started on a different song.

『我渴望你的愛，我渴望你的復仇。

‘I want your love and I want your revenge.

你我之間能寫出一段糟糕的戀情。哦哦哦哦哦！

You and me could write a bad romance. О-о-о-о-о!

我渴望你的愛，

I want your love and

以及你所有情人的復仇。

All your lovers’ revenge.

你我之間能寫出一段糟糕的戀情。』Z

You and me could write a bad romance.’Z

他們還唱了其他歌曲，但依然沒有人前來。

They sang other songs, too, but no one came.

「你覺得我們其中一個可能是個笨蛋？還是我們兩個都是？」Submarine說道。

“Do you think one of us might be an idiot? Or both of us, perhaps?” said Submarine.

「情感不夠澎湃。不過，沒關係，我們可以改善這一點。」

“Not enough emotion. But that’s all right. We can correct that.”

Eejit 抓住了 Submarine 的錨，掛在一根樹枝上，然後狠狠地推了她一把，使她最終懸在坑邊。

Eejit grabbed Submarine’s anchor, hooked it over a branch, and gave her an almighty shove so that she ended up dangling over the pit.

「你在幹什麼？狡詐又狡黠的 Eejit！立刻鬆開我的繩子！」

“What are you doing? Wicked, crafty Eejit! Untie me this minute!”

Eejit 滿意地說：「現在情況應該好轉了。」隨後，他爬下樹，躲進了灌木叢中。

“Now things should start looking up,” Eejit noted with satisfaction. Then, he climbed back down the tree and hid in the bushes.

懸掛在錨鏈上的 Submarine 呼喊著：「救我！救命！」 「Eejit，你這混蛋，我要殺了你！」

“Save me! Help!” cried Submarine hanging from the anchor chain. “Eejit, I’ll kill you for this you bastard!”

就在那一刻，一道黑影出現在坑邊，伴隨著枝條斷裂的聲響……

At that very moment, a shadow loomed over the edge of the pit. There was the sound of crashing branches and ...

……有人跌進了陷阱。

…someone fell into the trap.

—— Boris Laskin 著。

Words by Boris Laskin.

Lady Gaga。

Lady Gaga.